


Because it is real - Part 3

by pointy_eared_princess



Series: Because it is real [3]
Category: BOTFA-Fandom, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Adar-freeform, Blood and Violence, Comfort, Daddy Thranduil, Delicious/glorious/magnificent Thranduil, F/M, Fea, Gandalf - Freeform, Kissing, Legolas - Freeform, Middle Earth, Mirkwood, Oral Sex, POV Thranduil, POV Thranduils wife, Romance, Scared / terrified Thranduil, Shameless Smut, Silvan / Sindar Elves, Trust, Vaginal Sex, Woodland Realm, after BoFA, delicious love scenes, emotinal pain / hurt / agony, eternal love, marriage bond, tauriel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-02-19 04:45:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 57,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13116312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pointy_eared_princess/pseuds/pointy_eared_princess
Summary: Situated right after BOTFA. What if love returns to the life of our favorite Elvenking.?Will Thranduil be strong enough to face his deepest fears and give it a second chance?Only love can heal his wounds...but sexual healing might stitch them up at least:)





	1. Ellaria

The Elvenking was wandering about the ruins on Ravenhill deep in his thoughts. Legolas, the last existing connection to Thranduil s beloved wife was gone. And he had left because of his father s inability to even speak his mother s name, Thranduil meditated further. 

Of course, Legolas was also deeply hurt by Tauriel s open display of love and despair towards the dwarf but most of all and since almost as long as he lived, the prince had felt the pain of not being permitted to get to know his parents. 

No one ever dared speaking of the long lost Elvenqueen and the only one being able to fully acquaint Legolas with her personality did not only refuse to lighten his heart with the full knowledge of her amazing character, but had also built an impervious wall of coldness around his own heart. It was this wall which had prevented Thranduil s son from ever feeling close to the only parent left to him.

And now Legolas was unable to take anymore.

 

„Majesty,please make haste. We found something on the frozen river.“ A guard interrupted the kings sinister thoughts. At first Thranduil felt a harsh comment on his tongue but seeing the puzzled expression on the elf s face, curiosity took over the regency of his emotions.

„What is it you found?“ The king wanted to know at once but the guard was unable to overcome his confusion „Well, it might be, I mean it looks like...“ „Did the battle deprive you of the ability to speak clearly to your king?“ Thranduil reproached the soldier in a harsh tone.

„Forgive me, my lord. We found an elleth lying close to the place where Thorin Oakenshield died. It looks like she might be still alive. My lord, it is the most beautiful creature of our kind I ve ever laid eyes on and some say she apparently resembles...“ the guard swallowed hard, knowing his next word might be his death sentence, if taken in the wrong way but his monarchs piercing eyes forced him to continue.

„Apparently she has some similarities to our late queen.“ 

The kings eyes felt like two hot flames burning high and deep into the guards soul at the mentioning of his wife and for a moment there was absolute silence, the two elves just staring at each other.

„Take me to her at once.“ Thranduil s voice did not betray any emotions but an aura of heaviness surrounded the Elvenking as he set out to face whatever his guards had found on the frozen lake of Ravenhill. 

It was impossible to hurry over the sheets of floating ice but the elves moved as quick as possible, their natural grace and light-footed way of moving granting them a much fast pace than any human or dwarf would have dared to make.

Snowflakes where swirling through the air and a heavy wind blew, lifting Thranduils silver-blonde strands up to caress his face as he took in the sight of Thorin s last battlefield. Many pools of blood staining the perfectly blue and white surface of the frozen river, giving him a hint of how fierce the battle had been.

The Elvenking was doubting his own sanity as much as his guard s when seeing where they actually were. How could any elleth be found here by accident. His curiosity as well as his anxiety building by the second. 

And then he saw her. A delicate frame, almost as white as the ice around her. 

Dark curls sprawled around her lovely face which seemed to hold a faint smile in the corner of her mouth. The king s heart stopped for a moment and his breath caught in his throat while a sharp pain rushed through his entire body, making his eyes water at once and his head spin with agony and utter confusion.

There lay all he had been yearning for since decades. The essence of love and pain to him was placed naked on the frozen waters of this accursed place. Thranduil felt crushed down by severe emotions. All eyes widened in disbelieve as the mighty Elvenking dropped to his knees, broken by physical pain to the sight of his long-lost wife and queen.

So many thoughts, hopes and fears were fighting for the reign over Thranduils emotions, he had to take some time just staring at the elleth in front of him. It couldn t be her, she was dead. Long gone and never spoken of ever since, at least not in his presence. But she so much looked like her. His hands reaching for her flesh, he knew every inch of this beautiful body in front of him. And with an overwhelming shock, the Elvenking felt her in his mind as her purple eyes flew open to meet his stare.

„My love“ she whispered, her voice slightly hoarse but unmistakable hers, it made Thranduil wince back in agony. This phantom before him shook him too deep, frightened to break all his walls of self-defence he had built so carefully over the years to prevent himself from fading from the pain of losing her. 

She had tormented him a thousand times, visiting him in his dreams, pretending to be alive again,, comforting him...only to leave him more devastated each time he had woken from his nightmares until the king had been left with no other choice than to cut their bond by severe actions against his inner world.

It had left him an almost emotionless walking dead, unwilling and unable to feel for himself or others. It had been his end, a long and painful death, leaving the world of sympathy, happiness and most of all love far behind him.

He had sacrifices much to stay alive after she had deserted him and he would not be coaxed back into the agony of loneliness and despair. 

All these thoughts crossed his mind, commanding his circle of first defence to close tight around his heart but still his hand reached out to touch her and the moment his flesh was brought on hers, the old bond stirred up like a huge flame, devouring everything he had ever sworn himself after his queen s death.

„Ellaria“

His voice trembled for the slightest moment but Ellaria knew instantly that nothing was as it should be. Trying to sit up, she finally felt her body. It was stiff and cold, so cold, it hurt her just to breath. Panic found its way into her lovely eyes and Thranduil responded to it at once. His eyes widening as the full impact of his wife s situation came to his tormented mind. With one swift movement he freed himself of his cloak, wrapping it around Ellaria s naked body before lifting her into his arms.

Her scent hitting his nostrils a second after he had pulled her to him and a mighty sob escaped the king. His ability to control any of his emotions had been lost without the faintest chance to regain even a glimpse of it.

Thranduil felt himself drowning in the huge waves of his emotional mayhem, not knowing how to proceed when an ice cold hand gently stroke his cheek. This gesture, so long forgotten and grieved for so heavily, brought his attention back to reality.

„Thranduil?“ Ellarias beautiful eyes were upon him, filled with so much love and trust, it almost made him burst into tears. „Where is Legolas? Where is my baby?“

Her question felt like a slap in his face. Ellaria was completely ignorant of where she was and what had happened. It was obvious that for her life continued where she had last seen him, decades ago, when she had defended her child and payed for it by losing her life.

„You shall see him soon. But let me take you to my tent first, Ellaria. I shall explain everything....Trust me.“ Thranduil saw the lines of sorrow vanishing from his queen s face. For her the world was still in order as long as she was by her husband s side. The collision of these two worlds made the king s head spin even more with too many questions, Ellaria wouldn t be able to answer.

Turning around he quickly issued his commands. „Recall my son. He is to meet me in my tent at once...and no further information.“

Seeing an irritated look crossing his wife s face, the Elvenking was doubting very much his own ability to entangle this maze of wonders and questions placed right in his arms.


	2. Angst

Finally reaching the remnants of the city where the elven army was encamped, Thranduil looked down on Ellaria s beautiful face. Her eyes were closed and he was wondering if she had fallen asleep in his arms on the way but a thin line between her perfect brows told him better. The queen was lost in her thoughts, trying very hard to figure out what was going on around her and inside her soul.

Gently placing her still ice-cold body on his bed, the Elvenking started to worry about his wife. She still would not open her eyes and Thranduil felt panic creep upon him so he whispered „Ellaria, please look at me. I need to see your eyes.“ She obliged him slowly, not completely sure how to explain the emotions her husband would find in her glances.

And indeed, Thranduil slightly winced back from the full impact of agonizing pain hitting him in his chest when Ellaria opened the gate to her soul to him.  
Seeing tears covering the purple pools of her inside world, the king reached for her hand instinctively to comfort her. His immediate reaction surprising and scaring him at the same time. 

Thranduil had done everything to separate his mind and heart from his lost wife but it became clear to him this very second, that all had been done in vain. Deep in his heart Thranduil felt the strength of their marriage bond flaming up and growing by the second as he allowed himself to believe in this vision of his late wife. 

But he would not allow his fumble heart to get involved in futile hopes and dreams, only to be shattered into pieces once more. The Elvenking knew for sure he would not survive losing Ellaria again, not even a day-dream of her. 

 

„What is wrong, Ellaria?“ he still couldn t stop his voice from sounding soft and caring as he tried to find some traces of the usual way this vision would vanish soon and reality would claim him once more to face his loneliness and despair while displaying a mask of haughty arrogance to the world around him.

„I can t feel you, Thranduil.“ Her voice broke and a pitiful sob left her throat while a wave of panic threatened to drown the queen. „Why is it I don t feel our bond? What happened? Thranduil, please tell me.“ Ellaria s hand reaching out to touch his face for reassurance but he would not let it descend on his cheek.

The pain hitting the queen to her husbands rejection was so immense, she felt like being sick any minute. Her hand flew to her mouth to stop a small cry of pure desperation from escaping her but Thranduil felt the outburst of her agony never the less deep down in a well locked place.

„Ellaria. You died. 600 years ago.“ The words spilling out of his mouth without consideration. Thranduil was too torn and weary to care anymore about the effect they would have on his wife. He didn t care about the disapproving gasp coming from Gandalf. Thranduil was past his limits. This nightmare was just too much to deal with and he secretly wished to awake as soon as possible.

Ellarias unbelieving eyes were just staring at him without any emotions crossing her face or fea. The kings words had been too much for her and she was unable even to let them sink in. 

All Ellaria wanted, was leave. Leave this tent, leave the sight of her husband who felt like a complete stranger to her and who s cold unfeelingness made the queen s heart ache with the worst pain she had ever endured.

Getting up from the bed, Ellaria took a few steps towards the exit when all of a sudden she was hit by another jolt rushing through her inside world. A silver-blonde ellon had entered the tent, a weary expression on his face. Ellaria knew who he was the second her eyes fell on him. 

Her fea was deeply connected to the one standing before her... her son.

„Adar, you recalled me? May I require after your motives?“ Legolas demanded, his face showing utmost confusion in finding a strange elleth in his father s tent. The most beautiful elleth he had ever set eyes on, she looked or felt somehow familiar to the prince. His confusion growing by the second when seeing her jaw fall open. She was taking a few steps backwards until she felt Thranduil s body right behind her.

Ellaria had already forgotten his hateful behavior, right now he was her only anchor in the complete chaos surrounding her. The queen s hand searching for her husband s to steady herself from the emotional shock of seeing her grown standing before her. The king realized her dear need of reassurance pulled her gently to his chest, feeling her heartbeat hammering so loud and wild, it echoed in his own ribcage.

After taking a deep breath Ellaria found the strength to take one step towards her child. Sending him a glance of the purest motherly love, she exclaimed in a steady voice. „Oh Thranduil. What a beautiful child you gave me.“

Legolas was convinced his father was playing a trick on him. The words which had just left the elleth s beautiful lips were insane and his confused mind was unable to even consider them as possibly true. But at the same time his fea was singing with such happiness and relieve to have finally regained the most important connection from his earliest days. 

In his fea the prince felt the dark hole which had tormented him inexplicable all his life, filling with light and love for...his naneth.

Complete silence accompanied the two elves staring at each other with a desperate need to understand what their feas were telling them to be true until Legolas found the courage to put these feelings into a word. Reaching out a hand to touch the beauty before him he whispered „Nana“ and Ellaria s world went black as she past out. The last sensation she beheld were her husbands arms catching her, as he had always done.

 

The queen woke some time later to the sound of a whispered conversation.

„My Lord, your queen is much too weak to be taken back to the palace. You must not delay in reconnecting with her. She needs your energy and support if you want to leave this battlefield anytime soon.“ The voice was unfamiliar to Ellaria but she liked the tone and her skill worked out a personality which could be trusted and even esteemed as a friend. It was the wizard who had been in the tent before.

„And what would you have me do about that? Are you suggesting I take my wife to bed under the eyes and ears of all my soldiers and bond with her in this fragile state of hers?“ Thranduil hissed back at the suggestion. „You have no idea what you are talking about, wizard.“ „My Lord, I meant no offense but something needs to be done to stabilize the queen before taking her back to your homeland.“

„Bonding is an energy-consuming act between marriage partners. It can not be restored without the physical connection...“ „I m sure, you know gentle ways to reconnect with your lady wife, my king.“ The wizards voice sounded almost amused about the talk he was having with the Elvenking but at the same time he felt uncomfortable about their private conversation of intimacy between the royal couple.

And the truth hit Ellaria. Thranduil was afraid. He was actually scarred out of his mind about reconnecting with her. Even the thought of her lying in his bed was so disturbing to the king, it shook his entire world with angst for his very life.

The realization of these circumstances shocked the queen to her core. And it slowly dawned on her how fatally injured her husband s fea was from the death of his wife. Ellaria had been so distracted from the feeling of being disconnected with her soul-mate and the information of having being dead for 600 years as well as meeting a grown up child where her arms and fea was still craving to hold her baby, she had completely forgotten about her husbands state of mind and soul. 

It was absolutely clear to her now that the Elvenking was the most severed victim in this scenario and she wasn t sure he would let her heal him. Maybe he was out of reach for her, having retreated so far from all what was accessible to her right now, placing an impervious wall of ice and hurt around his savaged fea. 

It broke the queens heart to even imagine what her beloved had suffered from her death. But she would not give up on him. Patience and love would finally heal him. Ellaria just had to find back her own strength in body and soul before seeing to the task. 

So she took a decision which pained her worst than anything she had ever done for her husband, knowing it was only the first step on a long way of bringing Thranduil back to life and into her arms.

The king started to get seriously annoyed with the impudent wizard overstepping his borders. A harsh answer was readied on Thranduil s tongue to be unleashed the next second, when a small hand was placed gently on is forearm. The Elvenking s head turned around to meet Ellaria s purple eyes so soft and lovingly on him, it made his heart twist in pain for a second.

„My Lord, there might be an easy solution at hand to satisfy both needs, my safety and the need to rebuild my strength. May I suggest a healers-bond between us to grant me access to the dwell of your energy?“ 

The word "healers-bond" felt like a sharp dagger piercing her heart but the queen suggested it with a dignity that made Gandalf esteem the elleth in front of him even higher. Witnessing her loving ways of putting aside all threatening circumstances to greet her son appropriately had already assured him of Ellaria s extraordinary character but seeing her swallowing all her pride and hurt to make life easier for her husband, impressed him in a different way about her ability to put the well-being of others first.

Thranduils eyes grew wider as he started to digest Ellarias words. They seemed to be a decent suggestion to re-establish her health but the king knew what it had costed his wife to take such a step, accepting his denial to grant her the rights she was entitled to claim from him by marriage. 

She might have died and he might have severed their connection in the most brutal way but still, before Eru they were married. 

His queen had taken this step for his sake alone. Underneath his cool demeanor, the Elvenking felt his ice cracking. This version of his wife still loved him more than he deserved and the free display of her feelings for him made Thranduil doubt for a second whether his wife might have actually returned.

Feeling his heart lightening to this possibility, his pulse racing with excitement, the king quickly decided to take control of his emotions again. Bending his head gracefully he displayed his consent with Ellaria s suggestion. „Your words are wise, Ellaria. Let us establish this bond right away.“ Thranduil stated before guiding his wife to sit down in his large chair before pulling one for him as well.

His hands gently cupped her face while the Elvenking pressed his forehead onto Ellaria s for the physical connection before establishing the mental bridge between them which finally supplied Ellaria with a much needed rush of energy. Hearing her sigh with relieve to the comfort his mighty spirit offered her, Thranduil felt his heart swell with a feeling he had tried very hard to forget and suppress as best as he could...love.

He loved her still with every fiber of his body and soul and this revelation made him jerk back from her touch. He would not lose himself to another cruel attempt to break his walls. This was not real, it could not be.

Feeling his emotions overruling his attempt to will them back into his well guarded darkness, the king almost shot up from his chair, sending Ellaria a quick glance. 

The pain and despair in her lenses was too much for him to take and with one swift movement he made for the exit without another word of explanation.

 

Checking on his soldiers and discussing further steps to finally leave for their homeland cooled the king s temper and made him feel in control again. He knew what needed to be done and how it would be set in place to grant his army a safe march home. 

Of course he would have to attend Thorin s funeral the next day before leaving this cursed battlefield but the Elvenking was sure that once on his way home, his demons would let go of him. He couldn t wait.

Deciding to check on what was waiting for him in his tent, Thranduil hoped to find it deserted, the nightmare of his lost wife no longer haunting him. They had always vanished after some hours. But standing outside his tent, he recognized her voice speaking to someone in a tender and loving way, the way she had always addressed him when she was still alive.

„Maybe I m losing my mind slowly. After all these years of grievance my fea can finally take no more and starts to play tricks on me.“ Thranduil meditated before pushing aside the fine yellow fabrics of the entrance to face another battle against his inner madness.

Ellaria was still sitting in the chair he had placed her in. Her face lit up by the warmth coming from a huge fire in the middle of the tent and from the happiness her last conversation had brought her. Legolas had taken a chance to get himself acquainted with what he had been deprived of all his life. His mother.

It was obvious how much the prince enjoyed being in Ellaria s company. The king had to admit he had not seen his son in such cheerful mood since decades. Studying the scene before him, Thranduil knew at once what was different about Legolas, he felt loved. 

After 600 years of loneliness, the emptiness inside the prince s heart had finally been filled. With all the memories and information Ellaria possessed about their short family life together and with all her motherly love. A sensation Legolas had not dared to dreamed about. He was utterly happy and content. Even his sadness about Tauriel seemed to have vanished after a few hours with his mother.

Many emotions rushed through the king s fea as his eyes were fixed intensively on his wife and son, sharing a blissful moment of intimacy between mother and child. There was jealousy as he realized he had never been able to satisfy Legolas need for parental love and care in a way his wife had done in a mere blink of an eye. But at the same time his heart warmed to the sight of such happiness and natural trust between the two most important creatures to him. „Maybe it is real after all, maybe she has returned. Could it be? How??“

Thranduils heart and mind were in turmoil once more a few moments after entering his tent and he didn t care for such distraction at all.

 

„Ellaria“ the word escaping his lips before he even knew what he would say to her. His tone was hard and almost threatening and the king saw an expression of awe creep upon his son s face as he turned around to look at the intruder. Ellaria s features however stayed happy and welcoming, her eyes soft on him when she turned her attention to her husband.

„Thranduil, you are back!“ It was more a statement than a question. „Indeed I am“ the king took some moments, evaluating the best way of continuing his sentence when she got up and slowly walked towards him.

Seeing her approach, a storm of contradicting emotions started building inside the Elvenking. He so much wanted to rush to her, pull her in his arms, inhale her scent and start believing his most precious wife had found a way to return to him...but at the same time he wanted to scream at the top of his voice to be rid of this nightmare for good. It started breaching his walls of defense in a way which scared the Thranduil to his core.

He was still doubting when Ellaria s hand gently took hold his cold fingers. Thranduils eyes widening in shock, feeling the old sensation of electric wires running through his body. 

The queen noticed the struggle her husband was put through, apparently by her shear presence but she could wait no longer. Holding his hand in a tight grip, Ellaria asked the question she dreaded most.

„Thranduil, why can t I feel you anymore?“ 

„Because you died. You decided to no longer hold me as your first priority and left me alone on this accursed earth.“ A sharp gasp came from Legolas s direction but the queen decided to ignore her son s distress for the moment. She had to figure out what was going on with her husband.

Giving him a long deep glance, ignoring his impudent accusation he had just put before her, Ellaria continued. „No, husband. This is not why. A marriage bond is not broken by death for it was given for all eternity.“ Fighting hard to keep her tears at bay, Ellaria forced out her darkest suggestion.

„Are you...did you... re-marry, Thranduil?“

With a violent movement, the king jerked his hand free from her grip. His face showing hurt and anger.

„Re-marry?“ The kings eyes were spitting fire, his voice loud and aggressive. It made everybody present in the royal tent shy back but not the queen. She had chosen this path, now she would follow it through.

„Yes, re-marry. For I can find no other explanation for the separation of our feas. You are even refusing to touch me, let alone kiss me...“

„Kiss you?" a humorless chuckle accompanied Thranduil s words. "I haven t shared a kiss in 600 years. My last kiss was placed on your cold lifeless lips and ever since that day I had to struggle to even stay alive. You left me alone and desperate in this world. You broke your marriage vow to me and now you dare suggesting I got re-married?“

The prince had gotten up from his chair by now, him and Gandalf moving in the direction of the royal couple, apparently both of them sure, the queen might need saving from the king s wrath. 

But they had underestimated her strength.

Ellaria s hand reached out to touch her husband s face and the king held his breath. 

Whispering softly in elvish „My heart weeps for the pain you had to endure, Thranduil.“ Not waiting for his consent, Ellaria placed her hand gently on his cheek, making him aware of the considerable amount of tears he had spilled without noticing it.

Feeling his panic and utmost need for help and guidance, the queen went on tiptoes to breath her next sentence on the Elvenkings trembling lips. „Do not fear my love.“ 

In another second her mouth tenderly pressed on his and Thranduil s first layer of ice broke to the sensation.

The kings arms went around his wife, pulling her to him before pressing her body almost violently against his. He needed to feel her as close as possible, now that he had started to indulge in the most frightening campaign he ever had to face. Opening up to the possibility of loving again.

Thranduil s thought had gone to rest for a moment, all that was on his mind now was Ellaria. The feel of her petal-soft lips, her taste and scent enwrapping him, making him feel like home again. His fearful emotions could try as they might, there was no overruling of his carnal needs right now. He would enjoy this kiss to the most, even if it would destroy him afterwards.

Deepening the kiss, Thranduil s fea took the liberty to wander about, connecting to his wife s inner world once more without him being able to prevent it. And he felt her tiredness at once. She was so fragile and weary and confused. She felt lonely and betrayed by faith and her husband. 

All these emotions were locked away from him the next second but nevertheless they had made an impression on Thranduil. If Ellaria had indeed returned to him, if this elleth in his arms was truly his late wife, he had failed her in the worst way possible.

Breaking away from her lips slowly, Thranduil searched Ellarias eyes for her reaction to the kiss and what he saw made his heart soar again with happiness. It was love, hope and devotion. Despite her weariness, his queen had not lost her will to fight. And she would hold on to him until her last breath.

A storm of contradictory emotions was raging inside the king by now and he knew he needed some time to gather his senses again before he would be able to have further dealings with this miracle in his arms.

„You are worn out, Ellaria. Please lay down for some time and gather your strength. We can have a talk when I return later tonight from the war council s meeting.“ His words weren t neither warm nor reassuring but the expression on his beautiful features as well as the velvet tone of his voice filled Ellaria with hope that her husband was finally considering the possibility of her being alive.

She obliged the king s request at once, feeling the cold creeping upon her. Having returned naked, there had been no appropriate garments for her to be dressed in so far and she was wrapped in a much to large cloak of the Elvenking himself. Taking a deep breath to smell his scent on her skin now, Ellaria s eyes followed Thranduil taking his leave and a second after they closed to find some well-needed rest.


	3. So real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Almost) Happy New Year 2018! My very best wishes to you all

Thranduil felt an ice-cold grip on his heart, getting tighter with every step he took towards the royal tent. Legolas by his side noticed the change in his father s usually arrogant calmness and send him an encouraging glance. 

„Ada, my heart sings with joy about today s event. I can hardly express my feelings, but there is one thing I can tell you with all honesty. I never felt happier for you in my entire life. My mother s presence already changed us. The relationship between us and how I perceive you is so different from all I have ever thought possible..."

Seeing the kings eyebrows furrow to his well-meant words, the prince continued. „I m sure your will feel complete again, once you find the strength to open up to the greatest gift any creature on all Arda has ever been presented with.“

Legolas was interrupted by a heavy hand descending on his arm, turning him around to look at his father s stern face. „What if she is not real?“ „Ada, I don t understand the meaning of your words. What do you worry about?“ „Nightmares of your mother returning to me have been haunting me since the day she died. I know the feeling of hope and happiness creeping upon me to the sight of my beloved wife, just to shatter me the next second by her disappearance.“ Seeing his sons eyes fill with horror, the Elvenking decided to let him have the full picture.

„These occurrences brought me to the edge of ending my own life many times. The pain being too much for me to bear... the only reason I m still walking in these lands is YOU, my son.“ 

Legolas eyes started watering to the painful revelation of his fathers struggles behind the perfectly smooth mask of a haughty, uncaring king. The prince could not even picture what agony his father had had to face through the years, slipping deep into despair and loneliness each time he had to face another blow of loss after indulging in slight hopes about his wife coming back to him. How any creature could endure such torture, Legolas could not imagine. Grabbing Thranduil s hand in a reassuring gesture he begged him to continue.

„Legolas, I can not find the appropriate words to apologize for the coldness between us. I know I hurt you by keeping at a distance, but showing you all my emotions would have been to severe for you to take and opening up to the world of love and compassion would have been my death.“ „Ada...I m so sorry for you. You lost everything...“

„No, I still had you. For your sake I was able to conquer the pain. Watching you grow filled me with as much happiness as I could still allow myself to feel. Happiness and pride, Legolas.“

The princes tears had started to flow and he hid his face before seeking shelter and comfort in the safest place he knew on Adar, his fathers arms.

Digesting the kings words, Legolas knew how to help his father in his hour of need. „Ada, do not fear, she is real. My nana has returned. I do not know how or why but for sure it is not a nightmare. Trust her.“ „How do you know, son?“ the king s face was pale, his expression stern in expectation of another disastrous outcome of this latest glimpse of hope.

„The queen gave me this....May I, Ada?“ Gently pressing his forehead to his father s, Legolas felt excited. The mighty Elvenking needed him and most of all he loved him. Had always loved him, enough to accept constant pain and agony by staying in this world.

A heartbreaking sob left the kings throat as he saw himself laying on a huge bed, beside his wife. Legolas small body securely cradled in his arms, laying sound asleep on his naked chest. The fluffy strands of silver-blonde hair still damp from the prince s first bath in his just started life. It had been one of the king s favorite memories of their shared family life. But he had never seen and felt it from Ellaria s point of view. This vision had to be real. No one else but a living creature could have given such vivid memories to his son. 

Legolas guts turned cold when he saw his father bending over in the attempt to deal with the emotions hitting him hard in the chest from this latest discovery....Ellaria could have actually returned to him. Taking a deep breath, the Elvenking took control of his emotions again.

Sending Legolas a quick glance, Thranduil almost whispered. „Thank you son. Happiness might be in reach after all.“ And with a halfhearted smile he vanished behind the thick fabric of the tent s entrance.

 

The tent was dim, only lit by a burned out fire. Thranduil slowly approached the bed, his heart hammering and his guts turning with fear and hope at the same time.

When his eyes fell on the elleth under his luxury sheets, his tormented soul however signaled its readiness to believe in his deepest hopes, pushing aside all last doubts as the king gently descended to sit beside his sleeping wife.

His eyes scanning her intensely, recognizing every inch of her beloved features, her wonderfully curved lips which were always slightly parted in her sleep, her long dark eyelashes, trembling gently while she was taken by a dream, the soft milky skin of her perfect cheeks...Ellaria. 

It was his wife and the thought of having her back made Thranduils hands ache with the need to touch her. Leaning in further, he could and would not resist his heart s desire any longer. 

Very gently he let his fingers wander over her cheeks. Grazing her petal-soft skin with almost-not-there-strokes from his fingertips. He didn t dare to take to much to fast but this first contact already made the king sigh deeply with emotions and a tickling sensation which ran all through his body.

„You look so real“ he whispered more to himself. Although he had hardly spoken the words, Ellarias had heard them. Her eyelids opening slowly now, before her purple lenses focused on Thranduil. To him it looked like her face started glowing with happiness and love to her husband s sight. 

The look in her eyes drawing him even closer, helping him to leave behind his fears with every inch he approached nearer. Thranduil s gaze traveled lower to rest on Ellarias lips for a second before holding her eyes again but it had been enough for the queen to realize where is wishes lay and she send an inviting look straight to his soul.

To the kings utmost surprise he perceived her message in a place which he had thought to be no longer existent inside him. His heart responded to her invitation at once, overruling the Elvenking s mind within a second. Thranduil was still doubting his senses when his lips pressed a soft kiss on Ellarias lips. 

It was an innocent kiss, a first attempt to taste the ground but nevertheless, he had kissed her out of his own will. It was a huge step for him and Ellaria appreciated it as such.

However, the king broke the kiss fairly soon to whisper again in his velvety voice „And you taste so real....“ There was an unbelieving tone to his words but the queen would not be discouraged by it.

 

Gentle hands cupped the king s face and a deep glance bore into his mind and soul before Ellaria demanded in a soft voice. „Come feel me, Thranduil.“

His eyes widened to her request but they both knew it was a shared desire and nothing would keep either one from taking what they were longing for.

Thranduil so much wanted to take it slow, feeling Ellaria s tiredness with every touch on her skin. He wanted to be gentle but his hands were already freeing her from her garments, greedily stroking every inch of flesh they could get hold of. His heart was racing and his spirit soaring with desire and need. And she responded o him so eagerly. 

Ellaria s way of touching him took the king away from this world. All sorrows and fears were forgotten while his wife indulged in stroking his chest, placing small kisses on all his soft spots and caressing his sensitive areas with so much love and appreciation it made him feel like the most precious being in all Arda. 

She had been gone for decades but his body still remembered every single time she had given him pleasure. It remembered the way she needed to be caressed and teased to rise to his touch and it also remembered the pleasures it had received from her administrations. Now his body demanded satisfaction with a fierceness that became almost uncontrollable for the king.

Placing himself between Ellarias thighs, the king suddenly stopped all action. Tearing his mouth away from his wifes already swollen lips, he gave her a long look. She saw his doubts, his fears but also his need to believe in her existence and the struggle whether or not to proceed any further. Letting her hand slowly caress his cheek, she whispered „Trust me, my love.“ 

And he did.

With a deep sigh which sounded like an expression right from his tormented fea, the Elvenking united his body with the only one who could finally give him peace of mind and placed his life into her delicate hands. If there was a way to heal him at all, she would find it.

He pushed into her slowly, searching for her reaction to his intrusion. The healers- bond had stabilized Ellaria but her body was still weak and weary and Thranduil knew, taking on the physical and mental demands of re-bonding was not an easy task for her.

The king rocked gently against her, fighting so very hard not to lose himself to his desire. His body was screaming with the need to find release by thrusting hard and deep into this long lost sanctuary but his powerful mind was strong enough to keep his instincts at bay. There were of course moments, when his control slipped, not being able to keep his firm gripp on his demanding side when Ellaria s first soft moan reached his ears.

Her noises. How he had loved them and how much he had missed them. These soft little expressions of her lost self-control and the bliss his body brought her. They drove him wild and for a few seconds he allowed himself to take her to his need. 

But there was another goal growing stronger by the minute, to see Ellaria lose herself to him. Enjoying the pleasures the Elvenkings arms offered to her, Ellaria tensed already under him, her face breaking into an expression of unbearable excitement but it ebbed away. She was unable to let go completely and Thranduil well understood why. 

But trying to push her over the edge had brought the king very close to his own climax and he did not even fight it anymore when feeling Ellaria s skillful fingers caressing the sensitive tip of his elvenear. With a deep groan he let pleasure take him away from reality and pulled out of Ellaria s body to release on her belly.

 

His eyes were closed for some time, trying to steady his heartbeat and coming back to his senses. His body throbbing and twisting for a long time before he was entirely spend. When he finally opened his eyes again with an expression of peaceful happiness on his face, he started right into the queens overflowing pools of sadness. 

Tears were streaming down her cheeks and one hand had covered her mouth to silence her sobs.

Ellaria had just been send over the edge of what was bearable to her. 

Waking up to a cold, unloving husband had already broken her heart. Seeing her baby, which she had yearned for to hold in her arms for reassurance and comfort, being grown to a adult already had given her such pain, it had been hard for her not to burst into tears. The healers-bond, Thranduils accusations and finally the knowledge that he had shared his body with others while she had been ...what... asleep, dead, gone?...had been another blow in her face. But this, this denial of her rights as his wife and queen, the reestablishment of their marriage bond which had somehow been broken, was too much for her to take.

Without even looking at him, Ellaria rolled to her side, covering her face in her hands while frantic sobs started shaking her entire body.

The king was taken by complete surprise to see her heavy reaction. Not knowing what had brought on this emotional outburst of shear agony while his own life had just felt like it could contain some happiness again after all.

Feeling her desperation growing by the second, Thranduil tried to pull her into his arms for comfort but she struggled away so violently, it dawned on him he must be the source of Ellaria s distress.

Feeling the cold grip around his heart once more, he almost forced her to look at him. He needed to know what was hurting her so much, needed to see her emotions to fight back the panic which started to race through his mind to the sound of her sobs.

„Ellaria, look at me please“ he pleaded but she would not oblige him, her eyes firmly shut as new tears found their way between them. „Tell me what is wrong, please Ellaria.“ The king s voice was unsteady by now, his confusion as well as fear tormenting his mind as to what he had done. 

„Please...Elli“

And her eyes flew open. It had been hard for Thranduil to say this name out loud. His secret endearment for his wife, used during their intimate moments only, it had been the one word to convince Ellaria to re-engage with the world around her.

Her eyes were so full of pain and despair, it hurt Thranduil just to look at it but he kept his gaze fixed on her, demanding an explanation for the emotional mayhem going on right now. „Eli, why... what...I don t understand.“ 

The queen realized her husband was indeed ignorant of the fact he had just rejected her in the worst way possible. How could he be so ignorant to what had happened, how cold and unfeeling had he become?

„Why did you do that, Thranduil?“ „Ellaria, I don t understand what you are saying. I mean I just...“ „You just denied me the one thing which would re-establish our bond. Our marriage bond.“ She tried to control her voice but the emotions hitting her from this new betrayal of her husbands in a moment of her greatest vulnerability made it tremble.

„You mean because I didn t...“   
„You don t want me back in your life. You are to afraid.“   
„No, Ellaria. This is not true.“ Sitting up on the bed to properly respond to the accusations being brought before him, Thranduil pulled Ellaria up as well to face him for his next sentence.

„I did not believe you to be real. I have been haunted by nightmares of you coming back to me so many times, I almost lost my senses, Ellaria. I was close to leaving this world by my own hand just to escape these traumatizing events, so when I found you on the frozen lake, of course I thought you were just another vision coming to take me down....“

Ellaria had to cover her mouth once again to muffle a gasp of horror to this revelation of her husband.

„That was why I didn t want to bond with you, shrinking back from any emotion your presence, touch, scent or look would provoke inside my damaged soul. But I could not overcome the love I felt for you....and still feel. Ellaria, you killed me.“

 

The couple just started at each other in complete silence, the only sound that was heard were the tears dropping on the sheets. They were the queens as well as the kings tears.

„I m sorry, Thranduil. I m so sorry for what you had to endure...“ Ellaria reached out a hand to touch her husband. It was caught in the movement by strong fingers. He held her hand as well as her gaze for several minutes and the emotions running through his fea as well as the ones being passed between the partners were so extreme, they both felt like being burned from a bonfire right inside their souls...

Slowly and without taking his eyes off his wife, Thranduil placed a tender kiss on her hand. A gesture which broke her last will to take control of her tears and Ellaria started crying her heart out on her husbands broad shoulders.

He held her. 

For a long time his arms were all that mattered to Ellaria. His reassuring presence and the fact that no matter what he had just done, he still loved her. She felt it with every single heartbeat vibrating through his magnificent body. It called her name, called for help and understanding. And she would not fail him.

When her tears were all spend, Ellaria somehow found the strength to carry her heavy head on her own shoulders to look at her husband.

„Eli, I do believe you are real...but I can not tell you what scares me more, to re-engage with the world of love or the possibility of losing you.“ He gave her truth, it was a hard and painful one but he had to tell her never the less.

„I did not wish to keep anything from you. I m yours, in body, mind and soul as I vowed to you once....“ to these words, Ellarias head slammed into his chest once more as new and heavy sobs shook her again. He gently grabbed her arms to pull her away from his body. He needed to look at her for his next words.

„Ellaria, I will re-establish our bond, I swear. But by no means must I get you pregnant right now.“ He smiled to the confused expression on her lovely face. „You didn t even think about that?“ „No, Thranduil, I did not. And now I feel most ashamed about my emotional outbreak. Forgive me.“ She tilted her head before slowly sinking back onto the mattress. 

Thranduil following her example, lay beside his wife. With a slow movement of his elegant hand, he took care of one stray lock of hers, keeping it caught between his fingers to play with it, while he explained. „I don t think my last action was the only reason you had to cry so desperately. You took many blows today, most of them coming from your scared husband and I just pushed you over the edge by not re-bonding with you tonight. Eli, I need to tell you...“ 

„No husband.“ It were the kings eyes that started to overflow with emotions now. 

Hearing his favorite title after so many years of desperate longing for the soft voice beside him issuing the word, was a bit too much for him as well.

„No more explanations tonight“ Ellaria s loving smile healed Thranduils damaged heart in a way all magic at failed to do and with one deep sigh he cradled his wife to him. Their bodies fitting perfectly together, still knowing the exact angle to make a comfortable position for the couple.


	4. Nightmares and thruth

Cold. An icy coldness creped upon the Elvenqueen. First her mind noticed it before a second later it hit her entire body. She felt like a piece of the frozen lake herself. 

While Ellaria still tried to awake properly to find out about the source of her misery, a mighty scream made her ears ring with pain. The sound almost turning her guts out for the shear desperation and unbearable agony it supported.

She was laying on the floor, her naked body stiff from the cold and her insides in uproar for she recognized the voice of her husband hoarsely groaning one word over and over again now 

„No“

It became clearer by the second, the Elvenking was losing his mind to panic and Ellaria could imagine what was driving him to the edge of insanity. She was gone again. Fallen out of his bed it seemed, so his searching arms would stay empty during his sleep and any attempt to retrieve his most precious wife had been futile. Ellaria called his name, hoping he hadn t already lost all his senses and would recognize her voice through his agony.

And he did. The second, her voice gently called him, Thranduil was by her side. Staring at her with wide eyes, the horrors of his nightmares still traceable within them as well the immense shock to find her alive in front of his bed. 

In a mere blink, his strong arms shot out to pick her up from the ground before pulling her so tightly to him, it pressed the air out of Ellarias lungs.

One large hand entangling in her hair, to hold her head as close to his chest as possible, whispering all the time „Eli...oh Eli...my Eli, you are here. You are real. Eli.“

It sprang to the queen s mind, her husband was in a sort of trance, trying to calm his mind and heart by this enchantments. She let him hold her, enjoying the warmth of his body as well as his scent, the small kisses he placed on her head in between his whispers and even the salty wetness running down his cheeks to spill on her face was utterly welcome to Ellaria. 

Two guards came storming into the tent. They had been alarmed by the king s mighty shout of pain. Finding their sovereign in bed, holding his wife and gently rocking both of them to nd fro, left them speechless. Neither of them knowing the appropriate way to continue. Ellaria slightly waved a hand as a signal for them to leave again and they made for the exit with a relieved expression on their faces. There would be gossips to what had just been witnessed, Ellaria knew for sure but couldn t care less.

 

Her attention was fixed on the ellon in whose arms she started to melt again after a short sleep on the frozen ground. Thranduil had stopped the rocking and whispering, slowly disentangling his slender fingers from her heavy curls, before holding her a few inches away from him.

His stare was intense and Ellaria saw the storm gathering inside him before it broke on her with a monstrous thunder.

 

The next moment Thranduil s very being devoured her in every possible way. Little stars started dancing before the queens eyes when his taste, scent, mind and body came on to her all at once. She had not been prepared for his attack but welcomed him with all her senses, knowing she would t be able to withstand him, had she tried to.

The king s deepest needs were unleashed on the queen, their intensity taking her to the edge of fainting in Thranduils arms. His mind was crying out to her for comfort, while his body almost ravaged hers.

His weight burring her delicate frame beneath him, leaving her without a chance even to wriggle into a more comfortable position. His hot mouth exploring hers with a fevered need, which accepted no denial, leaving her lips swollen and Ellaria gasping for air.

But the most intense part of this encounter were the tidal waves of desperate need and helplessness washing over the queen s mind again and again as her body was pushed to its limits by deep and forceful thrusts at the same time.

Thranduil s possessive intrusion only lasted a few minutes before one of his arms went around her back in what felt like an attempt to pull her into his body. His second hand held her head steady for his final mind-blowing kiss and the Elvenking lost himself to his queen with such a mighty climax it made him black out.

His mind was gone to a peaceful place after taking what it had been longing for since decades, but his body still finished the act of lovemaking, releasing his seed right inside his wife.

 

Ellaria s struggle for oxygen found an abrupt end when her marriage bond was finally re-established and she faced the full picture of what had become of her husband.

His inside world, this former most beautiful place in all Arda, had been devastated. 

A desperate sob left the queen s throat to the sight of Thranduil s damaged fea. It felt like a battlefield to Ellaria, a battlefield which had been destroyed with such veil accuracy, it was unlikely to ever be restored to its former glory.

Her own mind started hurting just from imagining what it must have felt like for her husband to face everyday life with such agonizing pain inside his soul. Ellaria knew, she would not have survived even a week in this state of mind, she wouldn t have found the strength to do so, let alone the will to continue. 

How her husband had endured it was a miracle to the queen and she found her respect for his immense will power growing by the second, as well as curiosity to how he had managed to wreck himself to this stage. 

It must have been a forceful instrument to savage his bond, and with it is own fea to its present state.

Continuing her journey, Ellaria almost stumbled over what was left of her favorite part in her husband s soul. The small, well hidden and vulnerable place which she had discovered during their first encounter so many years ago, when Thranduil had tried to distract her from the physical pain and taken her to the most private part of his fea.

It now looked like a crushed door, only darkness greeting her behind the remnant of this once so beautiful place. Ellaria ventured further, her eyes falling on what looked like a small child with silver-blonde hair sitting on the ground with frightened eyes. His gaze turning into a look of accusing disgust when he saw her. Ellaria wanted to speak to what she considered must have been Thranduil as an elfling but the second she opened her mouth, the child shouted „You betrayed me.“ And everything went black around the Elvenqueen.

 

„Ellaria, come back to me please.“ A gentle voice was pleading for her mind to return to reality and although the queen was still shaken by what had just occurred to her, she opened her eyes.

Her gaze was met by ice-blue lenses. Thranduils eyes, so beautiful, so familiar and so full of concerne and love for her, it made Ellaria forget about what she had found behind them a few moments ago.

Thranduils slender fingers caressed her face with utmost tenderness. Fondling some damp strands of her forehead while his now soft lips placed gentle kisses on her cheeks. She had awaken from the nightmares of her husband s fea to be greeted by the pure delight only Thranduil s love could offer her. But Ellaria could not forget what she had found out about his emotional state.

Covering his hand with hers, she pressed it a little tighter on her cheek before finding her speech again. „What happened to your fea, my love?“ 

Seeing his eyes growing wide as Thranduil realized what had escaped his attention since he had awoken to this utterly tired but peaceful state of mind. His marriage bond had been re-established.

He winced back in shock, his thoughts racing with how it all had happened. His body must have finished the act after his had fallen unconscious. He had re-bonded with his wife, endangering her to conceive a child she would neihter have the physical strength to bare him nor the necessary support of her partner, who was far from mental sanity.

A desperate sigh escaped the Elvenking when seeing what this uncontrolled re-bonding meant for both of them. Ellaria must have been utterly surprised and shocked by what greeted her in his fea and Thranduil felt a strong resistance to explain the circumstances of his ragged emotional state. Especially now that his wife was recovering from death, both physically and mentally.

Cursing his animalistic instinct, overruling all his senses and putting the royal couple into a disturbingly uncertain position, Thranduil decided to enlighten Ellaria as much as he saw fit for the time being without overwhelming her by the severity of his actions.

 

Sitting up straight for this rather serious conversation, the king s face changed into a mask of stern determination. Ellaria, growing concerned about Thranduil s composure, tried to sit up as well but thought better of it, when a sharp pain rushed through her. Her entire body was drained of energy after the stormy lovemaking she had just shared with her husband. Every single muscle inside her was hurting.

The Elvenkings hands took hold of her, gently pulling her up to sit beside him. „I m sorry my love. I took too much too fiercely from you, but couldn t stop myself. Forgive me.“ She sent him a heartwarming smile which lightened the heavy weight on his shoulders before taking his hand to encourage him to start his story.

„As I told you, your death left me without any reason or wish to live...except our son. But my thoughts were dark and my emotions raging every second I was awake. Many healers tried to ease the pain with every possible method. Magic, trance, shock, enchantments, I agreed to all of it, not caring enough about my mental well-being to even listen to their suggestions...“ Thranduil had to gulp hard before continuing his speech, knowing the next part of his story would deeply hurt his wife.

Ellaria saw her husband struggling but knew she had to hear more to truly understand who he had turned into and why.

Gently caressing his palm by tracing the lines inside of it with her fingertips, she softly pressed him to continue.

„It had been almost a century after you left, when my will and energy to stay in this lands went out. I was ready to end this misery by my own hands but just when I was about to follow you to the undying lands, a guard came rushing to call me to Legolas sick bed. He had been severely wounded during an encounter with an orc pack and this incident saved me from taking my life.“

Thranduil had been looking away from his wife while producing this awful truth, which had never before left his lips. Fixing his gaze on her now, he saw her cheeks wet with tears and an overwhelming sadness gleaming in her beautiful purple lenses. It was heartbreaking but he would still continue. 

„Ellaria, you need to understand that my decision to stay with in this world at least until Legolas could face his tasks by himself could only be seen through by separating myself from you as much as possible. The memory of you, our love and the loss of it, meant constant, unbearable pain for me which I was unable to take any longer.

I had to end our bond and I did.“

Hearing her gasp desperately before she held her breath, the Elvenking had to lower his eyes so he would not have to watch Ellaria s heart breaking to his words.

„How?“ 

Her question was less than a whisper but Thranduil knew he would have to answer it.

„I deliberately tore you out of my heart and soul. I cut all strings connecting our souls by severe actions. They were brutal and violent, hurting me so much and wounding my soul so deeply it became the desert you must have found when I accidentally re-connected with you a few moments ago.“

There was dead silence in the tent now and Thranduil could not stop his eyes from searching for Ellaria s. He was too anxious about her reaction to this horrible truth.

The look she fixed on him made his guts turn in awe. Her eyes were emotionless but one could see the agony, desperation and utmost feeling of betrayal behind them and it made Thranduil feel ashamed to know he had pushed her into this inferno of devastation. But there was more he needed to say.

„Ellaria, I don t know how our renewed connection will feel for both of us, what it can still offer to you. It might be too late for you to save me and m not sure I even want you to heal me....I m so scared to be hurt again...“ Finally Thranduil s voice broke. His deepest fears and horrid actions had been conveyed to his wife and his will to keep himself from falling apart had been spent along with all his energy.

The Elvenking was done.

Thranduil had not even been aware of the tears running down his face until soft lips kissed them away. Slowly and with a reassuring feeling of being save from all harm in the world, the kings nightmares were taken away by his queen s love for her husband.

Ellaria pulled him with her to lay side by side on the bed. Encircling him wit her slim arms, she cradled her husband to her chest this time, so his silver-blonde head would rest just underneath hers. Placing loving kisses on his hair, the queen whispered elvish words of comfort and love while her delicate fingers slowly stroke the Elvenking s broad back, making him feel home again.

Calming to her steady heartbeat and the warmth of her loving arms, Thranduil finally found some rest and deep sleep by dawn. His wife stayed awake to watch over him, sending all her love through the re-established but severely damaged bond. She would not give up on him, there must be a way to heal his wounds and it was her duty to find it.

Ellaria felt almost content with her husband sound asleep in her arms. The only twist of uneasiness coming from a nagging thought...even in this hour of truth, Thranduil had not been willing to reveal the instrument he had used to end their connection. 

And Ellaria wasn t sure she wanted to know.


	5. More truth

The Elvenking woke to the feeling of peace and contentment. Looking down on the elleth in his arms, his heart started soaring with long forgotten emotions. 

It was love. Unrestrained, unconditional and uncontrollable.

Ellaria had been worn out after their intense re-bonding and the night-shift by her husband s side. Thranduil on the other side had not slept as well in decades. Feeling his wife watching over him, keeping him safe with her love and filling his damaged fea with her healing powers, had granted the Elvenking a deep and peaceful rest.

The queen had fallen asleep in his arms finally and Thranduil watched her with amazement, drinking in every detail of her perfect features while remembering the last time, her presence in his bed had felt all new to him.

It had been the morning after their wedding night and he had been anxious to find out Ellaria s feelings about their first intimate encounter. Their love had been so innocent and magical. The newly established bond soaring from shear excitement whenever the couple laid eyes on each other. Everything had seemed possible. 

It was all so different now but the intensity of his feelings for Ellaria had not changed. Even after all he tried to end their connection, she was still the center of his thoughts and feelings.

This thought healed and threatened the Elvenking at the same time and the wish to look into Ellarias eyes for reassurance became more urgent by the second. Thranduil knew well what he had put her through the night before. The mental part of their intimacy as demanding as the physical one. He badly needed to know her feelings about all he had revealed to her.

Gently Thranduils slender fingers started to caress Ellaria s soft skin with feather-light strokes, it was more to feel and experience her secretly while she was still taken by her dreams. But it took the queen only a few moment to half-wake to this tender proof of her husband s affection. 

A soft smile played around her full lips and her face broke into an expression of utter bliss while her hands started to explore what her still closed eyes could not. The much loved features of her glorious husband. This second, a ray of light shot through their still shallow bond, hitting the Elvenking so hard in his chest, it made him sigh.

His wife, taking the small noise rather as an encouragement to continue her appropriation, demanded his head to descend closer to hers and a second later a passionate kiss, full of unrestrained love and generosity, claimed the kings very being.

Tasting him on her lips, Ellaria hummed her satisfaction against his mouth, her body wriggling closer to his, trying to gain as much body contact as possible while her fea continued to pound Thranduil s inside world with her deepest emotions.

It became clear to the Elvenking, his wife s mind was caught in their marriage 600 years ago. Her senses were still too clouded from sleep to acknowledge reality and for the trickle of a second, Thranduil joint her in this most tempting scenario.

His arms going round her back to press her sweet body as close against his own as possible while his mouth devoured her with a demanding intensity which left Ellaria breathless once more. 

She opened her beautiful eyes to gaze into Thranduils icy blue lenses and the king saw the moment, reality found her.

A shocked expression made way to several emotions. Hurt, sadness, betrayal, loneliness and desperation crossed her mind quickly one after another but were locked away the second after by Ellaria s strong mental ability to control herself. But her husband had seen it and he knew who was the main source of her misery, he himself. 

„Good morning husband. Did you find some rest last after last nights intense events?“ Her voice was soft and gentle, full of concern for him. It was an offer to continue their relationship in a more or less normal way until they both would be ready to face more truth but Thranduil decided against indulging in such delusions.

„Ellaria, I m utterly sorry for all I had to reveal to you last night. I can not even imagine how waking to such reality must feel for you and I admire your strength in bearing with me. For sure I must feel like a complete stranger to you. Also my words and actions towards you were hurtful and mean. Please forgive me for failing you in such monstrous way.“

„Thran...“

„Please, let me continue. I know, what I have to tell you will hurt you even more but I fear every other dealing with our situation will deprive us of the least chance to ever re-establish our relationship properly.

The bond we are sharing right now is shallow and damage. My fea is devastated and a great darkness lives inside me which I m keeping under control with all my mental strength. However this constant fight makes it impossible for me to open up to you as I should do as your husband....

...and as you might have felt already, I have shared my body many times with others since your death. 

I know I could not, never and in no way accept such truth from your side, but I hope you will find a way in your much stronger soul to forgive me.“

Ellaria was just staring at Thranduil, her guts turning with violent pain to this awful truth.  
The king saw it but knew it had one last thing to convey to her. So holding her ice-cold fingers between his large hands he gave her a deep look which was almost unbearably intense. His eyes bore straight into her soul and his mouth finally spoke the words he dreaded since Ellaria had returned to him. 

„If you should wish to separate yourself form this source of pain, I have become for you, I understand.“

The queens heart was torn into pieces by her husbands last words but her hand flew to Thranduils face. Covering his cheek gently, her eyes caressed his fea with a warming tenderness only the Elvenqueen could still feel for him after his devastating statement.

„Never will I wish to be separted from you husband. You mean everything to me and my love for you will never change, no matter what you did or what has become of you! I m yours in body, mind and soul for all eternity and I promise, I will find a way to free you from all darkness.“ The queen s speech was cut short by a stormy expression of her husbands feelings.

Ellaria followed him willingly into a profane exchange of their inner views and emotions. 

Their kiss became very intense. The way Thranduil held her, almost pulling her into his body left no doubt to his needs. 

 

It was not a carnal desire which called for satisfaction but a much more challenging demand to open up to him completely, trusting him, following him into the darkness of his soul without knowing what was waiting there. 

Ellaria knew, her husband needed to feel her unconditional love deep in his damaged fea and the only way she could satisfy this frightening demand was by surrendering herself unconstrained to him.

And she did. Thranduil might hide some dark secrets from her but the queen would always trust in his strive to keep her safe and happy.

 

This was when Legolas entered the tent, completing the royal family. The prince paused instantly when his eyes fell on the couple. He had never before seen his father sharing a kiss and the way he was doing it right now with his wife, looked so intense and lovingly, it gave Legolas goosebumps. He started to understand what the king had been yearning for all the time. What immense pain it must have meant for him to loose a partner he had loved as deeply and unrestrained as he obviously loved the elleth sharing his lips right now. Legolas mother. 

The prince inhaled deeply and his fathers eyes flew to him in a second. Thranduil had been so caught up in this moment with Ellaria, he had not even noticed his son s entrance.

„Ada...Nana“ Legolas had to swallow hard. He had not even dreamed about using these two words together to address his parents. „I... excuse my intrusion, I didn t mean to interrupt your ..your..“ the prince was speechless. The situation was all new for him. New and overwhelming and he felt his cheeks burn while his tongue felt to heavy to move inside his mouth anymore. 

His gaze was meet by the most beautiful pair of eyes the prince had ever looked into, purple pools of love they were, his nans eyes. He saw her question for consent before placing her hand gently on his cheek. 

„My heart soars to the sight of you, my beautiful son. Do not be embarrassed, I m a bit confused about our situation as well. After all you were just a small baby in my arms, last time I saw you.“ Placing his hand above his mother s, the prince answered seriously „Thank you Nana, indeed I still have to get used to this wonderful present of the gods. To have a family and especially a mother has been my dream ever since I was old enough to moan your absence.“

Legolas dared to press a small kiss on Ellaria s hand before whispering hoarsely „I m so glad you returned to us, Nana.“ The queen had lost her struggle not to shed a tear but brushed it aside in a swift motion before grazing her son s cheek with her soft lips for a sign of motherly affection.

 

„Well son, I guess it is time to see to the last preparations before leaving back to our realm tomorrow. I will meet you and the wizard in a few moments.“ Legolas understood his fathers unspoken command to grant him some more privacy with his wife and left the couple with a small smile on his face.

The king had gotten up as well by now, slowly closing the distance between him and Ellaria, he stop a few inches away from her, his chest almost touching her back. He heard his wife inhale deeply before slightly turning her head to let it rest on his chest.

Thranduils hands wandered up her thin arms to rest on her shoulders and he almost whispered. „Thank you Ellaria. Your words touched me in a way I thought impossible for me anymore. I truly believe if there is a way to make me whole again, you and only you will find it.“

She turned around to face him while one of his hands slowly descended to rest on her belly. „Last night, I also put you in considerable danger of conceiving again. Tell me, did you feel anything alike the time we created Legolas?“ His voice sounded cool and measured but Ellaria saw the panic in his eyes. He fought hard to keep it at bay and she quickly assured him of her well-being. 

Covering his hand on her belly and lightly squeezing it she whispered „One day my love, I will feel another child of yours moving under my heart, but not yet. Be at ease.“

Some time later the Elvenking finally left his tent to see to his kingly duties. Even with many things on his mind, Ellarias last words kept spinning in his head.

They had felt like a prophecy.


	6. The queen

Ellaria scanned the ground around her with attentive eyes. She knew it was almost impossible to find what she was looking for on the waste grassland but the queen was determined to fulfill her task. Being thus focused, Ellaria almost ran into Gandalf who had been wandering the grounds as well for some solitude. It was the only way he could think properly and he had a lot to figure out. So much had happened these past days, even the white wizard was lost for answers.

One of the main mystery was standing right in front of him, obviously equally lost in her thoughts. The beautiful features of the Elvenqueen broke into a lovely smile at the sight of him and Gandalf felt light at heart while his eyes rested on this gift from the Valars to Thranduil.

Queen Ellaria of the Woodland Realm was unique in every sense. The wizard had met many beautiful ladies, elegant and even frightening queens and rulers. But what he had never found in any creature before was this aura of love and contentedness, surrounding the kings wife. 

She was kind and gentle, making every individual in front of her feel like it was special and worshiped. Gandalf could not even imagine what it must feel like to be indeed loved and wanted by this magnificent elleth. What Thranduil s life must have been with a partner like Ellaria by his side. The white wizard s esteem for the Elvenking had risen to the highest level, now that he saw what this great king had lost in his life. How he had managed to stay alive and more or less sane was a riddle to Gandalf.

 

„Queen Ellaria, what a pleasure to meet you. May I ask, what brings you here all by yourself?“ „My lord Gandalf,...“ Please my lady, just call me Gandalf, if you don t mind.“ „Then, Gandalf, I m Ellaria“ the Elvenqueen replied, offering her elegant hand to the wizard. 

Gandalf felt a rush of something unknown for a second when his lips slightly touched the skin of the queen s milk white hand. The skin was petal soft, it felt unearthly to him. „It must be divine if this hand ever reaches out to you in desire...“ The though crossing the wizard s mind, but with a slight shake of his head, Gandalf banished it.

„Well, I m looking for some special herbs which seem impossible to find on this grassland. I know where to look for it in the forest but.... oh“ The queens purple eyes were fixed with a satisfied expression on the ground again. She had finally found it. Kneeling down to plug the herbs, Ellaria felt Gandalf s inquiring gaze on her.

Sending him a quick glance, the queen explained with slightly reddened cheeks. „I need to be with my husband...and we can not risk a pregnancy right now.“ Tilting her head to see to her task, Ellaria gave Gandalf a moment to digest this very private information.

„The king has changed much since I left him and I need to bring him back to his former state of mind and soul, if you understand what I m saying.“

To change the subject Gandalf asked the question the whole realm was interested in. „Ellaria, do you have any idea what happened to you and why. Do you possess even the slightest memory of the past 600 years?“ „I don t Gandalf, but maybe if you could show me the place where I was found, some truth might come to me.“ „With pleasure, my lady. Today will be to busy with Thorin s funeral but we could visit the place tomorrow right after sunrise before your company leaves for the Woodland realm.“

Their conversation continued all during their walk back to Dale but it came to an sudden end when Ellarias eyes fell on Thranduil s injured elk. 

„Gandalf, what is this? Why does nobody attend to the magnificent but gravely injured creature?“ „Ellaria, the king s elk was killed by orc darts yesterday. It s corpse is too heavy to be moved and...“ „But the creature is not dead. And it is still connected to my husbands fea. We must save it.“ 

For all Gandalf could tell, this animal was dead and gone. Ellaria s reaction to the sight of it puzzled the wizard extremely but when he finally decided to keel down next to the Elvenqueen, he felt the immense power still radiating from the creature. Ellaria was right. It was still alive. Not much but there was a very shallow heartbeat somewhere deep inside the gigantic body.

The queen set to work immediately, her fea connecting to the poor creature in a second. Ellaria used all the healing power available to her to coax the elk from the shadows of death and back into this world. It was reluctant to follow her demand first, its physical agony being too intense but the queen would not accept defeat. She send all her energy to the animal s wounded mind and body, extracting dart after dart from the weakened creature while her fea sang to it songs of trust, live and happiness. The elk granted her access to its fea and mind but it was still hesistant to follow the queen back to live. Ellaria decided to use her last argument as unfair as it was.

Her mind pleading for the elks return to Middle-Earth while she slowly opened her own box of sorrow and despair to the animals inner eyes. It was her concern for its master, his damaged heart and fea. And when she finally conveyed her fear of not being strong enough to heal her husband from his wounds, the elk s body made a move before his red-shot eyes opened up again to embrace the world of its master.

 

The Elvenking however was busy fighting his own demons. His duties had kept his mind busy for some time, granting him a well-needed rest from all fears and questions concerning his private life but with his concentration wearing thin,Thranduil felt less and less capable of keeping his worries at bay. „Ellaria“ this one word kept spinning in his mind.  
There were so many unanswered questions about what had happened and why and what it meant for their future. 

Thranduil knew, he would have to find a way to solve his issues and clean his fea from darkness. The only fact the Elvenking was sure about was that he would lose Ellaria for good, should he fail to do so. And this thought scared the king more than anything else had ever done in his life.

Being caught in such sinister thinking, Thranduil almost stumbled into the area for injured soldiers. The king had brought not only his army but also a league of healers with him to Erebor who were now working day and night to save as many lives as the Valars would grant them.

The camp however looked different. It was better organized than before. After many moments of unbelieving staring, the biggest change could not be ignored any longer. This was not the medical camp of the woodland realm anymore. The kings ice blue lenses focused on the sight of many humans and dwarfs lying next to their elvish brothers in arms. 

Fixing his gaze on one healer Thranduil demanded to know „Why are we treating the injured men and dwarfs as well?“ „My lord“ the healer seemed confused about the question but answered without fear „ It was done on the queen s command. She asked for all injured soldiers to be brought here and treated with the same efforts as your subjects.“

Nodding his head quickly the healer continued his work without hesitation.

„The queen s command.“

Reality hit Thranduil hard. Of course, he had a queen. A queen and a wife and she had never been an idle one. For sure, Ellaria even thought it to be her duty to care for all these matters. She was a queen and a healer.

„My lord Thranduil. May I have a word with you?“ a hoarse voice came from the ground. The Elvenkings eyes found no one else but Lord Daine who had been majorly wounded during the battle.

Kneeling down to oblige the dwarfish lord, Thranduil realized the relatively good health Lord Daine seemed to enjoy.

„Aye my lord, I was healed. I was sure to have seen my last sunrise and was ready to accept my faith when the most beautiful creature in all Middle-Earth lay her gentle hands on this rough body of mine. This creature possed the power to heal me, which is still unbelievable to me and I will be in her depth for the rest of my life.“ Lord Daine had to swallow hard, his own emotions overpowering the stoic dwarf but he managed to continue „When I asked for her name she told me it was Ellaria. One of your other healers told me it was your lady wife, who has been mysteriously been returned to you from death....Thranduil, the Elvenqueen saved my life. I have no words to express my gratitude but I just wanted you to know about it.“

„Lord Daine, you need to rest your still drained body now. Just one last thing, my wife never distinguished between races. All living things are dear to her....“ A hearty laughter left the dwarfs chest „Aye, but you are the dearest thing to her. One can easily tell. You lucky bastard. What did you do to deserve such a wife?“

The rough laughter changing into a mighty cough while the Elvenking got up again.

 

Ellaria was back indeed. The Ellaria he knew and loved with all his heart. Thranduil swore this very moment he would find a way to become the husband she deserved again. Even if it would kill him.

The king s mind was even more occupied with the new situation when his elvenear caught a sound he had thought never to hear again. It was the roar of his elk.

How could this be? Maybe he had gone mad under all the emotional pressure of the last few days. Thranduils steps took him closer to the place where he was sure to find the corps of his loyal companion, the giant elk and when his sharp eyes fell on the exact spot his heart stoped. 

The majestic animal was slowly moving its head, the kind brown eyes fixed on the king immediately and a sound of utter contentment blasting from its muscular throat at the sight of its master. However unbelievable this scene was, Thranduils eyes also took in the delicate frame sitting next to the elk, slender arms rapped around the animal neck to hold on to.

Ellaria must have felt her husband s presence because her head went up slowly and graceful and her purple lenses send him a glance of her deepest solidarity while she let go of the animal.

Almost in slow motion, the elk managed to get up on its still trembling legs before making its way over to the Elvenking.

Thranduil felt hot tears of joy and gratefulness running down his cheeks and then it was the slightly cold and damp nose of his elk, pocking against his face to greet the king in such familiar way.

Now it were Thranduils arms going around the creatures neck to hold its majestic head close to his chest. Whispering elvish expressions of his happiness to see his friend alive once more, the Elvenking allowed his tears to flow freely during this private moment with another big loss he had been freed off.

And all of this had been done by Ellaria. His queen, his wife, his love.

Brushing his hands gently over the elks fur, Thranduil took a step closer to his wife. Her face looked utterly happy but tired to a level he had never seen it before. She needed him, his energy and support to continue her stay in this world. 

As soon as this thought found its way into the kings mind, he lost no time. Kneeling down beside her, Thranduil reached out his hand to touch Ellarias pale cheeks. „My love, I can not express my feelings towards this generous gift of yours. You brought back another important part of my and soul with this creature and although I can not understand how you were able to create this wonder, I thank you for it with all my heart.“

Ellarias eyes seemed to big and wide from fatigue. She had spend all her energy on healing the elk and now even a simple conversation was to much for her to hold. Her head sank against Thranduil s chest-plate and all through the many layers separating his skin from hers, the king felt her tiredness. 

Encircling her with his arms at once he heard Ellaria whisper „I need you Thranduil. More than anything else in this world. Please don t push me away. I need to feel you. In my heart and with my body....“ These last words had just left her mouth when the queen fainted in the Elvenkings arms.

 

The first thing tickling Ellarias senses was the scent. His scent. The one she loved above all things in the world. Thranduil smelled like home to her, like shelter and love. She could not get enough with him and now that all her other senses were still not fully available to her, Ellaria indulged in long moments of intensive bliss while letting her husbands aura enveloped her and take her to a peaceful place.

Slowly allowing her eyelids to open again, the queen found ice-blue lenses gazing at her, penetrating her soul with the intense wish to find reassurance for her well-being.

Her face showed a soft smile while her hand started to wander over the most perfect object Ellaria could imagine had ever been created by the Valars. Her husbands body.

„Eli..“ he whispered instantly. „You scared me. You were so drained of all your life s energy, I feared for you. How do you feel, Eli?“

„I feel good, husband. But I m very sorry, I scared you...“

„You needed my energy so badly and you took so much of it. I gave it willingly but you weakened me. You weaken me with every second you stay longer in my life. My fear of losing you is growing as well as my hope to find happiness again...“

„Thranduil...“ Ellaria sighed, her voice hoarse with emotions ad her eyes glittering with tears after her husband s display of his emotions.

„I sometimes fear you are just a burden send from Valar to humble me. Making me pay for my pride, arrogance and coldness during the last centuries. But there is also hope within my heart. I want to believe in a future which is filled with love again. Love and sympathy brought to me through your ability to heal....but Eli, I m so scared. Help me please. Help me to find my way back from the darkness, bare with me and don t take my uncaring behavior to heart. It is not me who hurts you voluntarily but my shadow. The shadow I became, after you left this world...Eli, I ..I...“

The great king was lost for words but they weren t needed anymore. His wife had already heard and felt enough to understand his distress and fears. And she knew a way out of it. If not for good, at least for some moments. A glimpse of hope for both of them. The royal couple with their damaged hearts and feas.

 

Ellaria didn t need words to convey her message to her husband. A message of love and loyalty for all eternity. So strong were her emotions for the damaged ellon lying next to her, they hit the Elvenking right in his heart, rushing through his fea like lightening. Their bond was damaged and shallow but Ellarias feelings were so strong and true, they reached even the last corners of Thranduils fea before he had a chance to pull up his walls of defense. And he responded to her.

Without fear and without doubts, the king lay his life in Ellarias delicate hands as he started acting to her wishes.

 

Again Legolas was standing in front of the royal tent,about to enter while his mind flew back to the scene he had witnessed when entering this tent the last time to consult with his father. A faint smile showed on his features when he pushed aside the fabric but it vanished the second his eyes found the royal couple.

The prince had had his fair share of love-affairs and he was not ignorant of the fact that a physical act between bond-partners was far more intense than between simple lovers. But what he experienced now was beyond anything, even his vivid imagination had granted him to fantasize about.

Many impressions worked together to create this image of the purest way to share ones body and fea with a soul-mate. The little sighs and soft moans escaping the queens throat, mixed with the deep groans bursting out of his father s chest. These noises mixed with the sweet smells of two heated bodies and minds. Their arousal as well as the physical exercise filled the tent with a scent which made Legolas belly tickle with excitement as well and he had fled the scene right then had it not been for the enthralling sight of his parents perfect bodies moving in the fruitful attempt to heal and pleasure each other with an intensity, the prince had not though possible.

The love-making of his parents was beautiful to watch. His fathers strong hands moving gently over his mother s perfect skin. A marble torso against a delicate back. His mother s slender form being covered by his fathers muscular body, their legs intertwined while the king rocked gently against his mother s backside, one hand disappearing between the queens legs to stroke her slowly while the couple share a deep kiss.

Legolas felt his own body rise to the act he witnessed. He knew it was wrong. This was a private moment between his parents and he already felt ashamed about himself but it was too mesmerizing to pull himself away from the scene.

There was something in the way the lovers took each other. The king s statue being so much taller and broader, the muscle flexing all over his body made it clear he could take his wife to his needs and pleasures even without her consent. Thranduil was a strong ruler but watching him in bed with his wife left no doubt about who was the stronger one in this relationship. 

Ellaria, although delicate and small in physical appearance compared to the kings mighty body, held an immense power over her husband. Legolas could see it radiating from every tiny part of her. The Elveking was at her mercy. He needed her, craved her touch and love and would simply fade without her presence. The way Thranduil made love to his wife was passionate and lustful but underneath the surface Legolas could trace his desperate need for Ellarias love and comfort. With all his magnificence and power, the king was but a helpless child in the queens arms.

This was the most shocking fact about the whole scene, and it would keep the prince s mind busy for many month to come. Inhaling sharply, Legolas found his parents head turn to face him. 

His mother spoke his name breathlessly while his father s hand grabbed the sheets in an attempt to cover his wife s body from un-welcomed eyes.

Legolas face was burning with shame and his mind was in turmoil. Never had he felt so confused and lost for words. Spinning on his heal he mumbled „Forgive me „ before fleeing the tent and leaving his surprised parents to the embarrassing reality of their child walking in on them.


	7. The limit...

The funeral of Thorin Oakenshield saw an alliance of men, dwarfs and elves gathering to pay their respect to this underestimated king who had been torn from Middle-Earth too soon.

Every race had its own opinion about this eccentric dwarf but all of them felt the need to honor his achievements. His iron will had led a bunch of dwarfs to conquer a dragon and an army of orcs in order to reclaim their homeland. Many eyes were filled with tears during this last good-bye as it had been expected. What had however not been expected was the level of respect the Elvenking showed his late opponent and most of the attendances contributed that fact to the elleth standing next to Thranduil. Queen Ellaria of the Woodland realm.

Her presence had already become a legend. The Elvenqueen had been misteriosly been returned to her husband. During her first days back in Middle earth, she had proven to be one of the kindest and most thoughtful creature of her fair race. And she was beautiful beyond description. 

Although dressed in Tauriel s spare uniform and without any sort of jewellery, let alone a crown, Ellaria looked every part a queen. Her elaborated fea granting her an inner glow which never failed to impress even those who did t care much for Elves in general.

The queen was a worthy companion to her magnificent husband, who s protective ways around his wife soon became a source of entertainment. The mighty king did not allow any form of separation from his queen, making sure to sustain their body contact all through the ceremony.

But what gave reason for gossips was actually a necessary precaution to grant Ellaria the strong supply of energy she badly needed to attend this gathering on her own two feet. She had overexerted herself by healing the wounded soldiers this morning before giving her last sparks of energy to save Thranduil s elk from his sure death.

Also this afternoons events had demanded a lot of her. After her son had fled the royal tent, it had been his mother seeking a conversation about what had happened. Reasuring the prince that no harm had been done and trying to work through his layers of embaressement before being able to touch and fill his fea with her motherly love.

The second meeting which had shaken her mental strength had been Ellaria s encounter with Tauriel, still Captain of the royal guard and therefor responsible for the queens well-being whenever the king had to see to his duties. Tauriel had been almost shy towards her new queen but what Ellaria had found in the young red-headed elleth in front of her had filled her with great pain.

Tauriels emptiness and devastation made the queen pull the taller elleth into a gentle embrace, whispering into her ear. „ I know the pain of losing ones soul-mate. I feel you, Tauriel. Let me comfort you.“

And the headstrong captain had collapsed in Ellarias arms, spilling many tears of loss and hurt. Never in her life, Tauriel had felt so well understood and honestly loved for who she really was.

Drying her tears almost fiercely after some time, Tauriel tilted her head, mumbling. „Is there anything you might need, highness?“   
„Indeed there is Tauriel. I need a friend. More than anything in this world.“ 

Hugh green eyes slowly found their way up to meet the queens purple lenses and what the younger elleth found in Ellaria s facial expression made her express her feelings freely. „You have found one, my lady.“ A happy smile spread over the delicate features of the Elvenqueen when she quickly added „Please call me Ellaria, my friend. Now may I request a favor from you?“ Tauriels brows furrowed while she waited for the next line, unsure if it would be a friends request or a queens demand.

„Would you kindly lend me some of your spare garments? I can not walk around in this far too big cloak of my husbands.“ With a reassuring laugh Ellaria watched Tauriel expression change from poorly hidden anxiety to complete astonishment. The queen was sure, she had truly made a friend and a loyal one on top.

 

And now the returned queen, dressed in a Tauriels garments held on to her husbands hand while feeling many emotions racing though his inside world. It was true, their bond was still shallow but they were bond again. Also, Ellaria still possessed the gift of being able to connect to other persons without being bond to them. She knew her husband s mental state was as delicate as her physical one. She needed to stabilize his emotions while he sustained her body through his own energy. 

After the funeral a delegation of men and elves followed Lord Daine and the dwarfs inside the mountain for an informal dinner. It was during these hours that a severe stroke fell on the Elvenking s mind. It was so intense, even Ellaria s mental support did not suffice to grant Tharnduil a dignified ending of the evening.

 

Lord Daine found his way over to greet the royal couple. Expressing his wish to thank the queen for saving his life, he held a beautiful box in his war steeled hands which he slowly opened to his words of gratitude. The sparkle coming from within the box when the lid was slowly lifted, was so intense it made ones eyes water from the pure white light. 

And Thranduil s jaw dropped open while his fea screamed in agony. It was the necklace, Thranduil s necklace to his queen to express his gratitude for the son and heir she had given him.

Finally facing the Elvenking, Lord Daine finished his speech. „I know it was this necklace, you went to war for my lord and all it stands for. Seeing your magnificent wife sitting next to you, I understand your motives with all my heart, king Thranduil and I m asking your acceptance for this sign of our friendship after centuries of hatred and misunderstandings, my Lord.“

Thranduil was unable to answer the dwarfish lord s fine speech but just took a deep breath. So Daine continued „My Lady, you don t need these sort of finery to distinguish you from all others. Your kind heart and unique aura serve this purpose much better than all jewels in the world. But still, you should were your husband s generous gift. After so much hardship in your family life, this token of happiness shall protect your newly started life.“

Both, king and queen were moved beyond words and it took them an embarrassing long time to answer this graceful speech. And then Thranduil was able to hold the legendary necklace in his elegant hands, feeling its weight and rejoicing in its mesmerizing magnificence before putting it slowly around his wife s neck.

Ellaria had held her breath to the tidings around her, being captured by the storm of emotions racing through her husband during the whole event. Now she was lost for words, feeling the meaning of Daine s gesture towards the royal couple.

Soon after this episode, the king bid the dwarfs good-bye and the elves left Erebor to prepare for their journey home. In Thranduils case, it was also to run from the emotions, stirred by Daine s action.

 

Once in their tent alone, Ellaria turned to face her husband for some further truth.

„My love, I feel your uproar and the intensity of your emotions threatening to overpower you. Will you share your thoughts with me to find some release?“

Thranduils eyes held a intense expression, it was almost scarring Ellaria. His lenses wandering between her face and her neck, which was still decorated with his necklace. His thoughts and emotions were fighting over the rein when his arms pulled Ellaria into a much needed embrace.

 

„I need to find release in your arms, Ellaria. I want you so badly...“ and his lips descended on hers demandingly. The queen felt slightly overpowered now herself but was more than willing to grant her husband his chosen way of release.

Thranduils hands only needed a few minutes to bare his wife from all disturbing fabrics, his mouth devouring hers fiercely all the time. Ellaria caught his face between her hands, trying to separate his lips from hers at least long enough for her to search his eyes for his emotions. She needed to know about his state of mind. 

The way Thranduil was coming on to her, allowed no chance for any verbal exchange or even a simple question and it dawned on the queen, the last thing Thranduil was up for was a discussion about his feelings after this nights events.

Gently pulling him backwards to sit on their bed, Ellaria finally found some time to rid him of his garments as well. Taking a long moment to appreciate the bodily perfection of her husbands naked forms, she decided to let him have his way. She would grant him the sort of release he demanded of her before coming back to her own questions. But she would not be rushed into a passionate encounter. Ellaria wanted to take her time, tasting the ground.

Locking her eyes with his, the queen approached the king slowly, sending words of love and comfort through their bond all the time. Letting Thranduil know, she was presenting him with her body and asking him to honor this precious gift with all his senses.

His facial expression changed dramatically to her demand, the haunted look in his lenses being replaced by a much softer glance, signaling his consent to her request. The large hand reaching out to graze Ellaria skin with a feather-light touch repeating his willingness to follow her wishes, while Ellaria felt his racing emotions slowing down for the first time since the Elvenking had laid eyes on the germs.

Holding the eye contact, the queen unhastyly descended her delicious body on Thranduil s needing flesh. 

Letting him slide into her body deliberately slow, while her eyes held his, making it impossible for Thranduil to think about anything else than her and the divine act they were sharing.

 

A deep and almost desperate sigh left the Elvenking s throat to this torturing administration and he was fighting so very hard not to lose himself already to the sensation of Ellaria s warm wetness. Trying to pull her in for a kiss, Thranduil entangled his slender fingers into her hair but was refused instantly when the queen turned her head to free herself from the touch. 

This denial of his needs and desires irritated Thranduil extremely. It angered and excited him to the same level and he decided to indulge in Ellaria s game a bit longer. He could feel her body tensing. She was on edge, although she had allowed him only a few shallow strokes. Her body screaming for release as much as his soul. 

The king knew exactly what was needed for her to finally let go. The words she so much wanted to hear already forming in his mind....but he could not bring himself speak them.

 

This fact frustrated Thranduil as much as it hurt Ellaria.

 

The king was finally done with his restrains. One of his hands grabbing his wifes hips, moving her to meet his now deep and relentless thrusts, while his second hand caught her head to hold it steady for his hot mouth to descend on her lips. Being able to take what his body demanded so fiercely, the king only needed a few thrusts before a mighty climax granted him release from his emotional mayhem, for a short period of time at least. 

His wife had not followed him into oblivion, her mind too much in uproar to find physical salvation.

 

Ellaria was utterly confused about her husband s selfish way with her. She felt almost used to satisfy his needs. Her own need for a conversation was growing by the second until the queen decided she could wait no longer to clarify the situation. 

They both were dressed in their nightgowns by now, the king pouring some heavy red wine for them, when Ellaria approached him. 

„Thranduil, will you please share your mind with me?“ she gently started the conversation. Her anxiety about his behavior poorly distinguished.

His head shot up at once, spilling some wine by the abrupt movement. Thranduils eyes found hers and the look inside them turned Ellaria s guts to ice. They were cold and unfeeling. No sympathy could be found in his usual deep pools of emotions. It made the queen gasp. A sharp pain finding its way straight into her heart when she realized this creature standing before her had nothing to do with the ellon she had married a long time ago. 

 

Thranduil s voice was dangerously low when he answered her question „Why, Ellaria? What else is there you would like to know?“ Closing the distance between them, his posture was as intimidating as the gaze he bore into his wife s fea.

„We are so poorly connected right now, our bond ridiculously shallow and damaged by my own doing, you even have to ask me about my thoughts and feelings.“ Seeing his wifes eyes watering to his hurtful words, he forced her head up to meet his gaze for the next well measured emotional blow he was about to execute on her.

„You tell me what is on your mind, wife, since it is you who can not find satisfaction in my arms anymore....“ 

„Please Thranduil, stop...“ Ellaria sobed, but the king was already too far gone in his rage, which he turned for the first time ever against his wife 

„No Ellaria, I need to say this to you finally. I have longed for you since decades, but now that you are here, I so much wish for you to be gone.“ And with one aggressive gesture he turned to grab his cloak before storming out of the tent.

 

The tent was dark by the time Thranduil returned. His anger had taken a long time to cool, but when it did, the full impact of his actions made its way into his mind and he felt sorry beyond description for such hateful treatment of his wife. 

Despite his words, Thranduil knew he still loved her with all his heart and soul and would not muster any will to stay in his world, should she leave him ever again. Ellaria was his reason to hope ad he had so terribly pushed her away in the attempt to defend himself from further hurt.

The king s heart started hammering with fear and self-reproach. His mind repeating „What have I done? How could I wound her like this?“

 

The tent felt deserted to him and he almost lost himself to desperate tears when he heard her voice whispering his name in the dark.

She was still there, waiting for him, bearing with her insane and mentally abusive husband. Ellaria would never fail him deliberately. Her love for Thranduil was part of her very being. He might hurt and abused her beyond what was bearable to others, but her heart would never falter. The king s gratitude knew no comparison and he hurried over to comfort his wife as much as she would accept him to do.

„Forgive me“ was all he could get out, before frantic sobs started shacking his drained body. Soft fingers started caressing his damp cheeks, slowly demanding him to move closer before Ellaria buried her husbands beautiful face in her chest, wrapping her arms around him in the attempt to grant him shelter from all that was frightening his fragile soul.

 

Calming to her loving treatment, Thranduil decided it was time to honor Ellaria s loyalty with the truth about his feelings. 

Although the fire had burned low, there was still enough light to look into each others eyes, and the Elvenking indulged in long moments of exploring his wifes insides before he spoke again.

 

„I have to ask your forgiveness for my horrible and deliberately painful statement. I did not speak from my heart when telling you...telling you I wished for you to be gone... I wanted to push you as far away from me as possible in order not to face the emotions and nightmares tonight events stirred up.“

Thranduil reached out on of his hands to graze Ellaria s cheek in a tender gesture but her eyes grew dismissive and he accepted her wish at once. They both knew there was still a lot more to be said before any form of intimacy would be possible again between the two of them.

„Ellaria, what I said was not true. I do not wish for you to ever leave me again, but the pain of losing you is still so real in my mind. The thought of ever having to experience this again means a death threat to me. Your presence in my life again is all I ever begged for and now that my prayers have been answered I m scared this gift might be taken away from me again in the future. 

My own inability to open up to you frustrates me to a level I can not keep at bay anymore and the consequences scare me to the core. We both know that even your loyal and forgiving heart can not sustain under such circumstances ...but I m not capable to handle the situation differently at this moment. I do not possess the strentgh to face the darkness within me. Eli...“ the king concluded helplessly lost in his misery. „please help me. And forgive me for....“

„Thranduil, be at ease. I will not leave you to the darkness...but...I miss you so much, husband. I miss the ellon I married, the baby I bore, the life I led and most of all the greatest love of our time. Our love, Thranduil.“ Now it was Ellaria s time to ease her mind by spilling her tears of loneliness and desperation. She moved closer to her husband s chest finally to feel the comfort and shelter only his arms could offer to her.

 

The royal couple stayed like this all through the night. Their bodies so close to each other, while their feas searched for a way to re-establish the lost love and comfort, they both were yearning for.

Falling asleep sometime close to dawn, Thranduil knew he had been forgiven. But the wound this attack had inflicted on Ellaria s heart would take a long time to heal again. He would do his utmost to proof worthy of his wife, the Elvenking thought before drifting off into oblivion for a few hours.

 

The next day saw the elves of the woodland realm leave for their homeland.

The king leading his army back to the forest they all longed to see again. His silver-blonde strands glittering in the sunlight, a giant elk trudging beside its masters horse, while a small creature with brown heavy curls sat in front of him, lacing her fingers through the strong and slender ones of her magnificent husband.

 

Ellaria s head was spinning with many thoughts and emotions. 

The dominating one being fear at the moment.

She had visited the frozen lake with Gandalf this morning and the memories hitting her, when touching the frozen waters in which she had been found, were too much for her to deal with.

The queen knew now what had happened to her and the knowledge of it took her last energy as well as her peace of mind from her. 

Also Ellaria doubted the possibility to ever discuss her discovery with her husband. It would be the last straw to break his back mentally and she would not let this happen. No matter what the unknown future would bring her, she would see him right after all the years of despair Thranduil had endured all by himself.


	8. ...of what is bearable

One of the biggest surprises upon Ellaria s return to her home was the familiar face of Rithelwen standing at the gates to greet her. The queen left behind all dignity when setting into a sprint towards her friend. The older elleths cheeks were wet from her tears of joy at the sight of her long lost friend.

But the two ellyth were only granted a few moments of privacy before Ellaria had to change back into a queen, making her way through the gates at her husbands side for all to see. The queen had returned. It was a miracle and a blessing that much was sure. The rest needed to be seen.

 

Ellaria s grip onThranduil s arm grew stronger when reaching the heavy oaken doors leading to the royal chambers. She felt his emotions running wild, threatening to overpower his already fragile state of mind.

Turning to face her husband, the queen found words of comfort to calm his inner mayhem. „I can not even imagine what this must feel like for you, my love.“ She started, sending him a deep and reassuring glance. „To me, it feels like home.“ And in one swift movement, Ellaria pushed open the gates to her former sanctuary.

It hadn t changed much over the past decades. Its furniture and scent welcoming her senses with an overwhelming impression to be safe from all harm in the world. This was were Ellaria would always find shelter and peace. 

Stepping further into the wide space, Ellaria realized Thranduil was hesitating to follow her. After taking a deep breath, he finally dared to express his feelings towards this old and so new situation.

„Never in my wildest dreams I imagined to ever see you standing in this room again..“ swallowing hard, Thranduil tried to regain his self-control before continuing „I apologize for the lack of any memory of you, Ellaria. I had to...“

She was by his side the next second, her hands pressed firmly on his chest to feel his hammering heartbeat. He looked as if traumatized by the situation and Ellaria wanted to ease his distress. Her heart was still hurting from the pain, the Elvenking had inflicted on her last night, but she loved him nevertheless with all her might and power.

„What are you saying, husband? I can see hints of our bond everywhere. You are still wearing my wedding gift...“ Touching the beautiful protective band which was laying on the king s elegant head, Ellaria send him an reassuring smile before letting her finger wander further down to tenderly caress one of her favorite spots on her husband s magnificent body. The crook of his neck. Being deliberately exposed by the special V-cut of his garments to grant his wife this little intimate pleasure between the marriage partners.

„I m everywhere. And most of all, Thranduil, I m still anchored deep inside your heart and fea. You might try to deny this fact, but I feel it. Even through all the walls of defense you wrapped around yourself.“ 

The agonizing sob, leaving the kings chest to this bold statement was drowned by his wifes soft lips, sealing his mouth.

„Eli, there is so much more I need to tell you. And urgently...“ 

But Thranduil s statement was cut short by a heavy knock on the door. The queen and king of the Woodland Realm were expected by their subjects for a huge festivity in the main hall.

It was a common habit to celebrate the victory of the king s army the very night of their return and everyone was waiting for the Thranduil to give the opening speech to this happy event. There was no chance delaying this most important duty and the king turned to face the challenge with a heavy heart and furrowed brows.

 

A huge cheer echoed through the Elvenkings halls when the royal couple entered and took their seats at the head table. Ellarias eyes scanned the room for known faces, her friends and fellows from the time when she had still been a healer. Her heart lightened to the sight of so many. Now it really felt like a home-coming to her. Not just being the returned queen but a well-loved member of this unique society.

Even the king s stern face changed into an almost happy expression. 

Until he saw her approaching. 

And he knew the impact of what was about to happen was beyond repair.

 

Making her way over to the royal couple with graceful and measured steps was the well-known beautiful Lady Nemalia.

The queen guts turned to stone the same moment a desperate cry-out from her husband s fea reached her through their bond. And Ellaria felt a wave breaking over her to take her down for good this time.

Slightly bowing her perfect head in a most elegant way, the Nemalia made sure all eyes and ears were attending this show...her show.   
She, Lady Nemalia, would finally be able to rejoice in the most complete revenge on a former rival, anyone could ever dream of and all thanks to the love-sick and instinct-driven Elvenking.

 

„Queen Ellaria, I m overjoyed to see you standing here, alive and healthy in our realm. What miracle brought you back to life after such a long time of darkness and despair for our king?“  
Thranduil grabbed Ellaria s hand, feeling her ice-cold fingers trembling with emotions. And he realized she already knew the truth.

 

In front of them stood the powerful weapon, her husband had used to severe and finally end his marriage bond to her.   
Nemalia had served the purpose of cutting his wife out of the king s heart and soul. And she had done her utmost to oblige Thranduil.

 

The moment this knowledge took root in Ellaria s fea, all emotions left the queen s mind and soul. It was the only way she would be able to see through the situation her husband had allowed her to be caught in. Being dishonored and exposed in the most shameful way to the whole realm.

Waiting for Nemalia s next strike in her direction, Ellaria felt another strong fea floating her inside world with love and energy.   
It was Legolas, coming to his mothers rescue. He had felt her mental break-down and rushed to save her without second thoughts. It was the prince holding the queen s second hand now and Ellaria decided fight for the sake of her child. She would not let Legolas see his mother being disgraced publicly. It was her duty to protect him from any such harm and she would with all her strength.

Straightening to answer her opponent s overture, the Elvenqueen s voice sounded as calm and sweet as if she was talking to an old friend.

„Thank you for your words of welcome, Lady Nemalia. What grants me the pleasure of seeing you standing in these halls again?“ Ellaria threw back the stone.

„Actually my lady, most of the time I m laying in bed with the king rather than standing in these halls...“ shooting Thranduil a seductive glance while issuing these words to the sound of many shocked gasps and whispers.

 

Thranduil s second hand moved to his hips, searching instinctively for his sword, as the only way out of this nightmare.   
Taking Nemalia s head off her shoulders right away would for sure stop any further damage to his wife s mental health. 

But Ellaria squeezed his other hand in a calming manner.   
„I will see to it“ was the message conveyed by this gesture and although Thranduil was very much doubting this fact, he had no choice but relying on his wife s strength. 

„It was me, who kept his mind of the never ending darkness... by keeping his body satisfied in every possible way.“   
Presenting Ellaria with a broad and lovely smile Nemalia had to add „It is true what they say, carnal pleasure reigns over any other emotion in this world.“

 

Feeling both her husband and son setting in motion towards the elleth in front of her, Ellaria decided it was time for her to take a stand and end Nemalia s moment of fame.   
And the queen knew exactly how.

Slowly descending the few steps to meet Nemalia, the Elvenqueen fixed her glance on her husband s mistress. Her eyes boring into the lady s fea as her mouth opened to let everybody hear her answer. The answer of a queen.

„You eased my husband s pain with your love and passion and I thank you with all my heart for keeping safe what is most precious to me in life." Placing one hand gently on Nemalia s shoulder as an intimate gesture, Ellaria added "I thank you, sister.“

 

The reactions following her statement from Nemalia, the audience, Legolas and Thranduil did not reach Ellaria s mind anymore. Her blood rustling in her ears from the lack of energy the queen was exposed to, after ripping out her own pride for all to see.

Still she held her head up high, searching for the kings eyes to safely convey her message. „Help me“.   
Making her way back up the steps, Ellaria stumbled and was sure to slip any moment, when Thranduil caught her.   
His hand reaching out for her, the second she was about to fall and his strong fingers supported her with all his power. Both physically and mentally. 

After seeing the measures Ellaria was ready to take for their relationship, the king had overcome his fears and doubts and open up to his wife emotionally. 

Sending his love, apologies and respect for her actions through their bond.   
The queen willingly accepted his supply of energy but all his attempts to further reach her fea, crushed against her inner walls of defence.   
Ellaria had shut herself from this world of constant hurt and disappointment.   
Thranduil did well understand why but still, being rejected like that hurt his pride as much as his finer-feelings.

To the surprised whispers off many attendances, the queen had sat down for dinner after this mind-blowing encounter with the impudent lady, whos presence at court had been a hated and disturbing fact for most elves of the woodland realm. 

What this Nemalia had dared to do tonight, the way she had dragged the king s most private desires into the open, talking about his sexual life in front of his subjects, would surely guarantee another banishment from this realm. At least this was what most of the elves present hoped for...even Nemalia herself had already made plans to leave back to her kingdom, where her son was ruling now.

She knew her days at Thranduil s side were over, the second this incredible news about the queen s return had come to her ears.   
All things were settled by now. Nemalia had just waited for this last piece of memory to be granted to her. Making her final curtain fall to a huge scandal in the royal family.

But as usual, Ellaria had crossed her plans, leaving a bitter taste of defeat in Nemalia s mouth, making her rage with anger and disappointment. 

Why was the queen so utterly unable to hate.   
What was this love all about? After all, Ellaria s own husband had made the whole scenario possible, letting his beloved wife fall headfirst into Nemalia s well-prepared trap without even a hint. Of that she was sure. The queen had been completely ignorant of the fact, Nemalia was even present at court, let alone a constant companion to her husband s lustful hours. But Ellaria had shown more mental strength and self-denial than Nemalia had thought possible. 

And all for this wracked husband of hers.   
Ellaria was just getting what she deserved by spending her love so loyal on someone so unworthy of it, Nemalia thought bitterly.

 

And now the royal family was enjoying their first official festivity all together. The queens fingers entangled with her husbands all the time, while she chatted amiably to old friends and her now grown-up son.

But even the queens vigor dwell of happiness did finally dry out and Ellaria couldn t find the strength to fight back the waves of fatigue washing over her.

Letting her head sink onto her husband s broad shoulder, she had his attention at once.   
„Ellaria, are you well?“ „Yes, Thranduil. But I feel very tired. With your consent I will take my leave now.“

„Of course, my love. I will take you to our chambers“ he replied with a voice full of concern for her.   
„No Thranduil, please stay a bit longer to pay full respect to our soldiers and their families...“ 

Another elegant hand was gently placed on the queens arm and Legolas cut in „I will see you to your chambers, Nana. Do not worry, Ada.“ 

The king had been reluctant to let his queen leave all by herself but seeing his son s face glowing with eagerness to take care of his mother, he consented to their request.

Placing a loving kiss on Ellaria s head, he felt Nemalias eyes burning his skin.   
His gesture, simple as it was, invoke her wrath to a level which almost scared the king. 

This was exactly what Nemalia had tried to obtain all these years.   
His love and his kisses. She hadn t even cared anymore about Thranduil s schizophrenic way of sharing his body without ever spending his seed inside her.   
But the denial of this small gesture of affection, a simple kiss, had always bothered Nemalia to her limit. 

And he was spending his kisses freely and for all to see on his little wife again.

 

Getting up from her chair, Ellaria took a moment to concentrate on her husband only. Looking deep into his eyes, before capturing his beautiful face between her hands, placing a gentle but emotionally very intense kiss on his perfect curves.

„Good night, husband“ were her last words before she took Legolas s arm and left. 

Something stirred inside Thranduil s well-locked and damaged fea which was not to be calmed afterwards.   
Something was terribly wrong, something about the way she had issued these words, made it impossible for him to continue the celebration and but rush after his wife. 

Her words had felt like good-bye.


	9. The full picture

Thranduil s mind was racing with one thought only „What if it is too late already?“ He was racing like thunder through the forest, knowing exactly where to go but would he be able to reach her in time? What if Ellaria already...

The thought alone evoke such panic, it was impossible to imagine the reality.

How did it all come to this? How did he let this happen? The Valars had presented him with the greatest gift anyone could ever ask for and he, the wise and mighty Elvenking, had denied himself the pleasure of accepting it. Out of fear and inability to master his own demons. „I have failed everyone and above all, I have failed her.“ 

And the king swore to himself, should he undeservingly be granted another chance to be with Ellaria, he would prove worthy of it. No matter of the costs to his own sanity!  
Leaving the great hall only a few minutes ago, Thranduil had stumbled into Tauriel. Staring at her king with more concern in her huge green eyes than Tharnduol had ever seen there before, the Captain of his guard explained to him the source of her uneasiness.

Instead of finding some rest in her chambers, the queen had left the palace through the main gates. Asking for a horse and actually demanded with all her royal authority for Tauriel to leave her alone. Feeling like a lectured child, Tauriel had decided to find the king at once to report to him. And she was actually relieved beyond words to find him equally concerned about Ellaria s action.

Tauriel wanted to indicate at least the direction, Ellaria had set out to, but Thranduil knew at once where his queen had fled to. The mighty waterfalls a quick ride away from the palace.

It had always been one of her favorite places in this realm. A place where Ellaria could find peace of mind and enough solitude to settle her thoughts. But also a spectacular downfall of water from a considerable height. A height no one would survive if... This is where Thranduil s mind was forced to stop by his overruling will not to lose himself to fear.

A few long strides of his fine horse further and he would be able to see the place, the noise of the rushing water already loud and clear in his sensitive elvenears.

And then he saw her.

It was as he had suspected. Ellaria was standing on a solid rock right above the falls, only one step away from a free fall which would end her life. Thranduils guts turned with a fear he had never experienced in all his battles and he set his horse into a quick gallop again to reach the top of the hill as fast as possible.

She had not even realized his presence. The queen did not respond to Thranduils calls in her mind. An impenetrable wall around her fea made it impossible for the king to guess what was going on inside her and he finally lost himself to panic.

Sliding off his horse, Thranduil almost ran towards his wife but stopped a few meters away from her. All his senses were set on alarm as it became clear to him that one wrong action would most likely lead to Ellaria s final step out of this life again.

Trying very hard to keep his voice as calm as possible, the king called her name. Gentle and full of warmth and Ellaria s head turned slightly. Finding her husband standing right behind her, her mind seemed to come back to reality and she slowly turned around to face the him.

Her face was an emotionless mask, her eyes distant and repulsive to the intruder. Thranduil knew he had to act quickly. „Eli,“ he started „please come to me.“ Ellaria held his eyes, her gaze boring into him, trying to evaluate his motives for coming here. 

Fighting hard not to lose his patience, the king continued his enchanting way of coaxing her back into his arms. Reaching out his hand, he pleaded „Please my love, take my hand. I won t force you, but please trust me and take a step towards me.“

The look she send him slightly changed into something soft and almost welcoming when the king s finger gently touched her hand. It was the biggest risk, Thranduil had ever taken. 

He was still not close enough to catch her, should she decide to take a step into the opposite direction but he hoped with all his heart, the ancient magic between them would still work wonders.

And he was successful with his daring actions. Agonizingly slow, the queen s body started to lean into his direction and Thranduil took the opportunity to grab her small hand, feeling her ice-cold fingers trembling in his firm grip.

 

Exhaling deeply after this mind-shattering experience, the king pulled his wife into a tight embrace. Keeping her body pressed against his, while tears found their way down his cheeks.

„Eli, what are you doing here? What were you thinking? Why...“ but his sentence was brought to an end when Ellarias emotions found a way to the surface.   
All she had endured from the moments she had opened her eyes on the frozen lake until the final blow in the Elvenkings halls broke free and the queen was unable to stop her sobs and tears, twisting and quivering in her husbands arms. Trying hard to break free from his embrace, her struggle becoming more violent by the second as her emotions took her down.

But Thranduil would not let go of her. He was still far too scared to trust Ellarias next actions. Loosening his embrace was all he would grant her for the time being. The queen fought so fiercely against him by now, freeing her arms finally and hammering them against his broad chest for some time. Thranduil felt his heart break to his wife s misery.

He had inflicted all of this on her. She had been betrayed, mistreated and sent over the edge by his loveless ways with her. The thought gave him such pain, he almost winced back from her but checked himself quickly to face his wife s break down.

Her blows against his chest did not hurt him physically but what they stood for made it hard for him to breath. And then she was ready to verbalize her agony.

„Why?“ Ellaria sobbed against his chest. „Why, Thranduil?“ „Why..HER?“

This was the question burning her fea to the ground. How by all the Gods in the world, could he do this to her?

 

„I lost everything. My husband, my baby and my life as I knew it by waking up on Ravenhill...“ her voice broke to her own declaration and her sobs took over again.   
Tilting her head, the queen gave into her weak bodys demands and slid to the ground. Her husband following her in the motion. Pulling her tighter to his chest again, holding her so desperately while whispering „Forgive me, please ...“ 

The couple stayed like that for long moments until Ellarias sobs died out and she rested sound- and motionless against Thranduil s body.

Getting up slowly, the king lifted his wife into his arms, carrying her over to his horse. Her body had started to shake violently from fatigue and cold and she would not have been able to stay on horseback had it not been for her husbands strong arm keeping her in place for their ride back to the palace.

Not a word was spoken between them, Thranduil knew there was no way, Ellaria could hold a conversation right now. So the only thing left for him to do was to pull her against his body as much as she would accept, to warm her until they reached home.

 

Ellaria must have lost consciousness somewhere on their way back. Opening her eyes now, she found herself tucked under heavy sheets in what seemed to be her bed.   
Slightly turning her head to one side, she saw her husband staring at her with an intense glance.   
Many emotions passing behind his lenses. The fear for her well-being, his shame for what he had done to her and his love. 

The Elvenking was deeply in love with her, so much was sure and Ellaria felt her own heart lift to the sight of his true emotions. He seemed to be as confused and lost about their situation as the queen. 

Ellaria knew they would not be able to solve the issues between them tonight in their mentally wracked state but she needed him. Needed him so much with all her heart and soul.

„Thranduil..“ Ellaria sight „...make love to me.“ 

He was shocked about this statement. It had been the last thing he had thought to hear from his wife after tonights events.   
Actually the king hadn t been sure, he would be welcome to share her body ever again. 

But Ellarias hands already started to caress him, pushing away his doubts and fears. Thranduil had been hoping to have a conversation after she woke up. He so much needed to find out what had been her intention when standing at the waterfalls, but his body was defenseless against his wifes demands. Thranduil had no other chance than to follow the queen into the swirl of need for release.

Ellaria s body was soaring with want for her husband s touch already, his kisses taking her away from the cruel reality they both were so tired to face.   
His hands evoking pleasures beyond telling while he directed all his attention towards the delicious and demanding body of hers.

The Elvenking was so very gentle with his wife, his skillful hands finding all of Ellaria s soft spots, teasing her tenderly until she was wriggling with burning desire to finally feel him. 

This time, Thranduil was sure, she would surrender to his intrusion.   
He would leave her no choice.   
He took her agonizingly slow, parting her lips with his tongue to penetrate her mouth at the same time his muscular body slid between her thighs to claim her entirely for his own. 

Ellaria arched her back, moaning into his mouth as she felt him taking her in every possible way. 

 

She only realized what was going on, when it was already too late for her to stop him.   
Thranduil had found a way around the fortress of defense she had so carefully built to keep him from seeing her real emotions.

But all of a sudden he was there, deep inside her fea. She felt his dominating presence as the mighty king explored his wife s inside world uninvited.

Ellaria tried to fight him, pushing him out of her most private thoughts, but he would not be moved.   
Distracting her already weakened mind by giving her immense physical pleasure, Thranduil made sure to shatter her lines of defense before moving further into her fea.

Any attempt to regain control over either her mind or her body was brought to an end by the Elvenking s invation. His body taking her to the edge again while his fea explored hers with such rigor, nothing would escape the king s attention.

Ellaria s body was tightening around him and Thranduil rejoiced in the fact, she would finally receive carnal satisfaction in his arms when he found what he had been looking for. Ellaria s well guarded emotions, hidden deep inside her mind, so no one would ever be able to see them.

Thranduil was not prepared for what awaited him there. 

 

The events of the last few days had devastated her fea almost to the same level as his own.   
Ellaria had been hurt severely by her husbands actions, the wound inflicted by his hateful words running so deep, it looked almost lethal. 

It had taken Thranduil decades to ruin himself to such state of mind but he had done the same to his wife s emotions in less than a week. 

 

The king had completely underestimated the importance his love held for her well-being in body and mind. 

 

The absence of this vital dwell of energy had left Ellaria without the will to continue this miserable life of hers. She had indeed be willing to end it when standing at the falls.   
This revelations triggered something inside Thranduil s own fea and he had to retreat himself from his queen both physically and mentally. 

The king was lost for words, his mind unable to deal with all the contradictory emotions and thoughts he was going through after his discovery. 

Ellaria had turned her back on him, covering her face while a heart-broken sob left her chest.   
He had made her cry again. 

It was the second time, Ellaria had found nothing but devastation in his arms, Thranduil thought bitterly. For sure she would never grant him another chance to make amends for it.   
And still he couldn t stop his hands from reaching for her. His very being needed to comfort her, taking away any source of pain which threatened to crush her.   
It was the strive of his life, to keep his wife safe and sound and he had not only failed to do so but deliberately pushed her to harm this most precious subject in his life. Herself.

„Eli...“ he whispered unable to disguise his fears to have lost her for good by his last action.   
And a deep sigh of relieve escaped him when she turned around to face him. Clenching to him at once, burying her face in his chest, crying her soul out to his racing heartbeat.

Ellaria still saw her husband as her anchor in this world. No matter what happened between them, she belonged to him and only he could ease her pain.   
He had no idea how to work such a miracle but if his wife still wanted him in her life, he would find a way to heal them both.  
Holding her against his body for a long time, gently stroking her hair while whispering words of comfort into her ear, the king was finally able to coax Ellaria into a deep slumber.

This night, sleep escaped the Elvenking completely.   
His mind was racing with so many thoughts, hopes, fears and desperation. But too many doubts clouded his vision and he was almost brought to tears by the feeling of inadequacy when his eyes fell on the beautiful elleth in his arms.

 

Morning found the royal couple uneasy in each others company. They were both to shaken by what had happened since they returned to the Woodland realm and neither Thranduil nor Ellaria had any clue how to continue their relationship.

Such was the situation between them when Ellaria decided it was about time to act.

„Thranduil, you looked into my most private emotions and well hidden thoughts last night. I know we urgently need to talk about what this all means for our future as a couple but I would like to delay this conversation until this afternoon.“ 

Her words had been issued almost emotionless. There were no more tears left in the queens eyes. She had spend them all on the king s chest last night. What she was desperate for now was solitude. 

Ellaria knew she would have to make a decision for her own sake as much as for Thranduil s, but she was not in the position to take it right away. Her mind and heart being in uproar while her brain still tried to accept the fact, she would continue with this miserable version of her formerly so happy life.

„Of course Ellaria. If it suits you, we should meet for a private talk before dinner.“

Nodding her consent, Ellaria got up to start her morning. She saw Thranduil s hand reaching for hers and stopped in her movement.   
The king valued this small sign of attachment coming from her and he gently caressed the soft skin of her delicate hand before bringing it up to place a loving feather-light kiss into her palm.

It made the queen swallow hard after all. 

 

The whole day, the king s mind had been working on the most daring problem he ever had to solve. Doubting, questioning, despairing, hoping. It had been a hell of a day and Thranduil felt utterly tired and on edge in every sense when finally making his way to the royal chambers to meet his wife for the most important conversation they ever had in their married life.

There was so much to be gained or lost for both of them.

Ellaria already awaited her husband. Standing close to the fireplace, her composure seemed calm and determined.  
„She has come to a decision“ Thranduill thought. Fear and relieve floating his mind at the same time.

Their fate would be decided now.

„My queen, I need to tell you, no matter how we ll decide to continue our lives, you will always be the closest subject to my heart in all Arda“ with these honest words, Thranduil placed his large hands on his wifes shoulders, physically reassuring her of the deep emotions he had just expressed with his statement.

Ellaria turned around slowly, her head tilted slightly until she found the strength to face Thranduil and convey her message.   
But first she granted herself a moment of pure bliss, inhaling her husband s intoxicating scent, now that he was standing so close to her.

 

„Thranduil, I found the much needed time to sort my thoughts and I know my way now. But before we talk about our future I need to ask you one thing ...“ The king knew exactly what this was about and he answered his wife s question before she had to place it.

„Nemalia was the farest thing from you I could find. I was only able to touch her and no other because there isn t even one fiber about this elleth which reminded me of you.“

Ellaria had promised herself not to cry again but her determination broke to the kings first sentences. His slender index finger carefully brushed away the tears streaming down her face, while he almost sobbed. „I m so sorry Ellaria for all this mess. I failed you so utterly. Please forgive me.“

Her eyes found his again and what Thranduil saw reflected in them gave him cause to hope his offer would be accepted.   
She loved him still with all her heart. Nothing would ever change her feelings for him, even death failed to separate the two of them....so there was hope.

„Ellaria, I also had a lot of time to make up my mind and what I suggest to you is a second wedding. I thing we need to be re-married in front of Eru to strengthen our bond and feas. This is the only way out of this misery for both of us.“ 

Hearing his wife inhale deeply, Thranduil slid one finger under her chin to bring her head up again. He badly needed to see her eyes to know about her feelings towards his daring suggestion. 

It was „No“ written all over her face.

His eyes widened in disbelieve and the king took a step back, his mind and heart racing with shock to his wife s denial.

Ellaria took a moment to before denying them both their most urgent wish.   
To be re-united with her husband was her heart s desire but she knew it would not be achieved through a renewal of their wedding vows.   
It wasn t as simple as that.

 

Her voice was soft and apologetic but it held a determined undertone when she finally verbalized her own thoughts and conclusions.

„This offer warms my heart. I know what it must have cost you to suggest such a drastic step. But being re-married to you is not what I wish for.“

Ellaria saw he kings eyes watering to her devastating words and she hurried to explain her statement.  
Now it was her hand reaching out to comfort him but it took a few moments, before Thranduil would accept it.

„Being close to you, husband is all I shall ever want and need. But for you it is different right now. I wanted to heal your wounds with my love, spending all my emotions and energy to make you whole again. I almost lost my life to this dedication before I could see, I was actually pushing you further away with every attempt to save you.“

„This is not true, Ellaria.“

„We both know it is, Thranduil. You are chocking on my love. It threatens you so deeply and I finally understand why....“

The kings lips were slightly parted, his face a mask of pure confusion.

„By coming back to life I deprived you of your last straw to hold on to. The glorified memory of what our marriage had been. The great love we felt for each other to which you could still hold on tight. Especially now that reality is so different from what our shared live had been...“

Thranduil shook his head violently to Ellarias words. The truth within them was taking him down.   
Both of them knew it but only Ellaria had already accepted the consequences of this revelation. And she continued her explanation.

„I will give you air to breath again and the solitude to come to a decision based on your true emotions and not on what you and everybody else expected you to do after my return. Thranduil, I will leave for Imladris tomorrow morning.“ 

„You will do no such thing, Ellaria.“

„It is the only way for you to find out what you really want...and still feel for me.“

„YOU WILL NOT LEAVE ME AGAIN!“ The king was about to lose it, a violent storm of fear overtaking him.

 

Ellaria caught his face between her hands, desperation also starting to claim her hardly steady state of mind. „I know it hurts you beyond saying...“ he tried to push her away but the queen held onto him with such power, it was impossible to loosen her grip unless he was prepared to hurt her physically and that he had never been and never would be.

„...bear with me husband. Let the truth of my words sink in and feel the chance it holds for both of us. We were separated and brought together again by faith and look what it did to us. This time it will be our decision, whether or not we want to continue our lives as a couple.“

 

And the king forgot about his dignity. Crushing into his wife, pulling her violently against his body while heavy sobs shock him.

„No Eli, don t leave me. Darkness will claim me for good. You can not put me through it again, not like that, Ellaria, please...I m begging you.“

„But I won t be out of reach, my love. I will be in Imladris, waiting for you to come for me, if this is what you really want. And I beg you with all my heart ONLY to get me if you are prepared to let me into your life and soul as you did before. “

Giving him a long inquiring look, Ellaria finished her statement even more dramatically. 

„Otherwise we will destroy each other slowly but completely until there will only be hatred and hurt left between us. Thranduil, you know my words are true....“

 

Pressing his lips desperately on hers to finally shut them, the mighty Elvenking sobbed helplessly.   
„I know you are right Eli, I know it. But I would have never had the heart to follow this path and I wish you hadn t either. Why us, Eli, why?“

Ellaria held her husband for long moments. She had given him truth. A mind-shattering revelation of what this way of living beside each other would mean.   
It had costed her so much to overcome her own hurts and fears to issue these words and all the queen wanted to do now was to rest before setting out to her former homeland the next day.

The couple lay on their magnificent bed staring at each other. There were no more words to be exchanged between them and morning would force them to finally take action.

They were a beautiful sight to be seen. Both of them blessed by nature when it came to their physical appearance as well as their minds and feas.   
A strong and successful ruler with a loving and wise queen by his side. 

So perfect and so desperately lost.


	10. Imladris

„Ellaria“ The way he spoke the words made her heart beat faster. His voice like velvet and his tone so lovingly, it made the queen s longing for her husband s presence almost unbearable.

This enchanting voice gracing her sensitive ear once more. This time it sounded as if the speaker was approaching... but it couldn t be. It was all in her head only.

 

About a week ago, the Elvenking had finally started this way of communicating with Ellaria after what had felt like months without any proof of his willingness to still be connected to her. The first contact through their bond had left Ellaria shaking with joy and release. 

For her there had never been a doubt about her wish to be properly re-united with her husband but she had to let him go in order to find out, what he needed and wanted. 

To the Elvenqueens utter bliss, Thranduil had chosen to continue his bond and marriage with Ellaria, even if it had been strained by death and broken by his own will.

All her fears and doubts, torturing the her since Ellaria had left the woodland realm had vanished to the sound of his beloved voice, calling out to her. It had been the greatest release of her entire life and the queen answered these calls with all the power available to her. Conveying her happiness about her husband s will to include her in his life again, even with all the darkness threatening to take him down.

 

„Ellaria...my love“ this time the words were followed by a feather-light touch of his slender fingers on her soft cheeks. Being half-asleep, the queen still knew the difference. 

It felt real.

Thranduil had come to claim his wife and queen.

Opening her eyes slowly, to find out about this most vivid dream of hers, Ellaria could not suppress a heavy sigh when her glance fell on the beautiful features of her magnificent husband.

Her hand moving up to find his. 

Thranduil s long fingers entangling instantly with Ellarias to reassure her of his presence while his voice spoke once more „Am I welcome to you?“

 

The king had bent over her wonderful face to take in the sight of what his heart had been yearning for since the second she had rode from his palace and his uncertain emotions. 

He felt his cheeks covered by her delicate hands, gently pulling him closer to meet her lips for an intense expression of her emotions. 

And the next second, Thranduil s heart filled with warmth again. 

Ellarias petal-soft lips, caressing his full curves in the most wonderful way, the Elvenking could imagine.   
He had always loved the way, his queen kissed him. Sometimes soft and innocent, or demanding and possessive at other times when desire for her husband made Ellaria s blood boil. 

Thranduil knew he would never tire of just kissing his beautiful wife, every single encounter of these warm lips on his would always be a mind-blowing experience for him.

 

„You came for me!“ Ellaria statement was a mere whisper against her husbands lips but the emotions vibrating from her to underline theses simple words were some of the heaviest, Thranduil had ever experienced.

Putting some distance between their faces to fully take in the sight of his queen, the king answered after stilling his heart again „I did, Ellaria. I m sorry it took me so long but now I m here and I will take you back home with me. I m claiming you, as it is my right as your husband.“

Many emotions crossed the queen s face to Thranduils challenging words but Ellaria didn t have much time to think about an appropriate answer.   
Her husband had made up his mind to set his first, very physical claim on her and see it through right away.   
His mouth descending on her, still lovingly but with an unmistakable demand. To yield in every sense to him, surrendering her body as well as opening her fea.

 

The queen was still hesitant but strong fingers working their way insistently over her body in the most shameless and exciting way, made her abandon all restrains and doubts and she follow Thranduil into his need for intimacy. 

After the first urgent kisses, the Elvenking took to a slower pace, making it clear that this encounter was entirely meant to conquer Ellaria s heart.

The queen s head was spinning from the immense pleasure, Thranduil s skillful treatment granted her. She felt already at his mercy. Both partners enjoyed the found back intimacy to a maximum.

Only flashes of their physical encounter reached Ellaria s mind. It was so busy with accomodating her husband s mighty presence in her inside world at the same time.

 

„Ellaria, I want you, I need you and I will not let us be separated ever again.“ „You are everything to me... "

These sentences rushed through her fea while a demanding hand slid beneath Ellarias shirt, stretching the already plunging neckline of her nightgown to its limits to free one milk-white breast to Tharnduils hungry eyes. 

 

His breath became heavy with lust and his eyes darkened with unrestrainable desire while he gently ran his thump over his wife s stiffened nipple.   
Deliberately slow and torturous. 

Her hips already tilting up to find some friction when meeting the Elvenkings forms. Ellaria was a quivering creature in her husbands embrace, even before Thranduil had taken possession of her body.

Feeling his wife wriggle in his arms, her desperation for his touch growing by the second, the king decided to ease her suffering at once. Locking his eyes with his queens, Thranduil slid up the hem of her gown slowly, until the center of Ellaria s lust lay bare before him. 

Slowly descending his head closer to this desirable spot of his wife s delicious body, Thranduil kept the eye contact until his beautiful face vanished between Ellaria s thighs and a mighty groan of surprise and satisfaction left the queen s chest.

Arching her back and thrusting her hips upwards to intensify the sensations her husband s hot mouth and smooth tongue left on her entrance, Ellaria completely surrendered to Thranduil s intrusions on her body and fea. 

Opening up to him was so easy, so shameless and so delicious at the same time now.

 

Her mind further penetrated by his statements of love and need towards her person, the queen could not delay her need for release any longer. Entangling her hands in his golden hair, she gently pulled on the soft strands between her fingers and the heath left her core when Thranduils face reappeared to send her an inquiring look.

„Please Thranduil...“ Ellaria breathed heavily, her voice hoarse with desire. „Please take me, husband. I so much need to feel you“. And the mighty Elvenking obliged her at once.

His manhood pushing into her the next moment, ridding her of all senses. She was pure sensation now. And all she felt was him.

He was inside her, around her, holding her, comforting and pleasuring her.   
Thranduil did not so much make love to his queen but worshipped her with every power and skill available to him. 

And Ellaria took it all, enjoying even the slightest movement of his potent flesh taking her as his entirely and answering all his calls in her fea, which was wide open to him.

Controlled as he might have started this campaign to reclaim his wife, the Elvenking was well lost to his desires and pleasures now as well.

Feeling Ellaria s warmth welcoming him eagerly, enclosing his most sensitive parts, calling his name with her voice and in her fea to spur him on, Thranduil was sure he would lose himself entirely to his approaching climax. 

Ellaria would destroy him completely, breaching his walls until he was defenseless against her intrusion on his heart and soul..but he did not fight her.   
He welcomed her with all his will and senses and the king was rewarded for his loving actions.

Feeling her tensing around him, Thranduil brought up Ellarias hips. His strong fingers digging into her soft flesh almost painfully while he brought his lips on her elvenear to whisper the words, he knew would finally grant her release.

„I love you, Ellaria.“ 

 

He had said it. The one emotion which had been stuck in his heart and throat for an eternity already. It had been the hardest thing for the Elvenking to verbalize this feeling after he had been sure never even to feel a glimps of it again. The presence of such emotions had scared him to the core and to admit the existence of them to himself as well as to his wife had been the struggle of all his waken hours, since she had returned to him.

The king was no fool. He well knew that his ability to finally admit these feelings back into his conscience life was merited to his wifes selfless efforts to bring him back from darkness.

It had taken Thranduil many sleepless nights, much anger and devastation, heavy struggles against his own demons and the final understanding that his wife had done right by leaving him. The king had been deeply hurt by Ellaria leaving his side. His heart exploded with pain and his temper raged against her traitorous actions when seeing her riding off to her former homeland, leaving him alone and helpless.

The Elvenking had felt so betrayed by his queens actions, to first swear never to go after his feeble wife to claim her back and it had taken him almost 2 months of constant struggle, questioning, and inward fighting before he could admit to Ellaria s decision having been the only successful way to ever fully re-establish their relationship. 

Thranduil had known then, he did not wish to stay another day in this world without her by his side. No matter of the costs to his own health and sanity.

Within the next few hours he had set everything in motion for his immediate departure to Imladris. And now he was here, holding his queen.   
The words threatening him so much before, finally whispered gently into her ear.

The king was rewarded instantly when Ellaria exploded in his arms with the fiercest outbreak of an overwhelming climax, Thranduil had ever witnessed.

 

Ellaria s peak was so forceful to her own body and mind, the Elvenking had to use considerable force to keep her in his arms, her body shaking violently with carnal satisfaction.

„Schsch, Eli. I m here for you. I m holding you. You are safe. Just relax, my love and I ll see you right“ Thranduil tryed to calm her quivering body and racing mind. He almost feared for his wife. Never had he seen an emotional and physical outbreak climbing to such heights. Thranduil was shocked and extremely please at the same time.

 

And then he looked at her, really looked at what lay between his muscular arms. Her utterly drained body, still trembling slightly from time to time in the aftermath of what he had invoked in her body and fea.

A throughout content smile spread slowly over Ellaria s features, tears of release finding their long-overdue way down her glowing cheeks.

„Thank you, my love“ was all, the queen was able to whisper before her eyes shot and she found some well-needed rest next to her husband s body.

He cradled her to his chest, pulling her as close to himself as possible, inhaling her scent and rejyocing in the happy memories of the mind-blowing encounter he had just shared with Ellaria, before Tharnduil fell asleep as well.

The couple had finally found salvation in each others embrace.

 

Some time later Thranduil woke to the feeling of being watched intensely and indeed he found Ellarias purple lenses fixed on him. Furrowing one brow, the king expressed his slight confusion about his wife s staring.

The queen got up on her elbows to bring her face above his, a small smile playing around her full lips before she explained „I simply can not believe you came for me, Thranduil.“ Feeling a wave of emotions coming for her, Ellaria quickly searched for her only anchor in life s stormy sea. Her husband or rather his lips, which she graced with a slow but deep kiss.

He felt her body tremble when his arms went around her small frame to pull her closer to his body. She was not at ease.

 

Her decision to give him space had costed her dear. 

Ellaria was not the self-content and confident elleth, Thranduil had known her to be since their first meeting. She had been shaken to the core by the events of the past month. The uncertainty about the continuation of her marriage, the emotional blows the queen had to take from the life awaiting her after 600 years of absence as well as the pain inflicted by her husband had destroyed Ellaria s former equilibrium and left her defenseless against the many nightmares, doubts and fears haunting her day and night.

It became clear to Thranduil, that his once so well balanced wife was emotionally devastated and mentally unwell.   
An urgent need to comfort her set all his senses in alarm. 

 

Ellaria had done her utmost to save her husband s soul from darkness. She had not spared herself at any point. Now it was to him to see her right and the king was prepared to take any measures available to him, both by his personal strength and his position in this world.   
Thranduils most pressing strive would be to lift the emotional burden from his wife s delicate shoulders.

Kissing her back with a tenderness, Thranduil hadn t felt since the time Ellaria had left him, he started entangling his slender fingers in her heavy curves. Not in a sexual way but just to feel her in a very intimate way. Pulling his lips from her mouth, he slowly let them find their way along her cheekbone to her jawline before placing a loving expression of his feelings on her forehead.

Stroking her back with his free hand and whispering words of comfort to her, the Elvenking took a long time to pleasure his wife in a complete selfless way. 

She badly need to feel loved and wanted again and Thranduil went all the way to transmit this emotion to her, both mentally and physically.

Finally, bringing some distance between their faces, Ellaria lay her head on his biceps, bringing her face level to level with her husband s. „Thank you Thranduil. I was in dear need for some signs of your still existing...interest in me.“

„It is much more than an interest, Ellaria. It is love. An all consuming, immortal flame of love, even I with all my will-power, wasn t able to extinguish in so many years. I m yours, if you ll still have me.“

Ellarias eyes had started to overflow to the king s very intense statement but Thranduil was not done yet.   
Taking hold of her hand, he gently placed it on his bare chest, right over his beating heart.   
„Feel me Ellaria, feel my love and devotion towards you. You have nothing to fear anymore, my love.“ 

And Ellaria lost her will to keep her emotions at bay. Her tears running freely now and deep sobs leaving her chest but she sill had to tell her husband about her own emotions.

„I was so afraid, you would decide against another liaison with me. Taking the chance to heal your wounds and cover all stirred up emotions. I would have understood your decision to rather abandon me than having to face all the pain inside you...“ 

„Eli, no..“ 

„Please let me finish, Tharnduil. I have to tell you about my feelings or my heart will explode.“

Capturing his glowing cheeks between her hands, the queen continued.

„I still loved you so much. Just like before. Even after I understood all that had happened during the last 600 years. The measures you took, to separate yourself from me, your affair with a person who had taken my life once, the fact you could not open up to me anymore....nothing had changed my love for you. To leave you that day. Riding off to my former homeland with a broken heart and your betrayed expression haunting me every time I closed my eyes, was the hardest thing I ever had to do. And although I knew it was right, it wounded my heart and soul so deeply, I m not myself anymore. I m so lost, as I m sure you must have felt already....“

Trying to stop the next sobs, shaking her again, Ellaria cried out „Thranduil, will we ever by ourselves again? Please help me to overcome my fears and make me believe in our relationship again. It is all that is left to me in this world. The only reason I shall continue to breath is my hope to be united with you again the way we were before all this mess...“ 

Finally, Ellaria felt like she had unburdened herself of a heavy sin or lie which had become to much for her alone to handle. With everything said, she felt much lighter at heart, her intense crying helping to unload the rest of stressful emotions into her husband s chest. 

And he did the one thing, his wife need him to do so urgently right now. He held her.

No words, no explanations. It was all said and now the couple needed to help each other back into life. The king had understood his task and was more than willing to fullfil his part, he even felt glad about Ellaria s honest statement. She did not hold back on him, giving him the chance to heal her wounds and ease her pain. And he loved her even more for it.

The royal couple agreed to stay in Imladris for a few days more, before Thranduil would take Ellaria back to their home in the woodland realm. It would be the beginning of their second life together as husband and wife.


	11. Imladris II

Ellaria had taken with her Tauriel, Legolas and Rithelwen and had spend an intensive time with each one of them. Especially the times with Legolas, her unknown son had been most precious to the queen and she found delight and much joy in conversing with this kind-hearted and sharp-minded young ellon. They had exchanged memories from the past. Ellaria telling him of Legolas first few months in a happy family. Her son in return had given her inside view of his childhood and adolescence, not holding back his difficult relationship with his father. 

Thranduil s coldness towards her son had hurt Ellaria in a way she had never felt wronged by her husband before. It was like he had refused herself on a personal level by keeping their son at a distance. The queen had been even more grateful to find Legolas being an emotionally healthy and very caring person.

Which had led Ellaria to another important task she had set herself. To heal his wounded heart and in doing so, also bringing peace to Tauriel s fea. This young elleth had been played foul by faith and the queen had tried her utmost to guide Tauriel from the darkness of her thoughts back to life.

The Elvenqueen herself had searched for emotional guidance during the past stormy weeks. As always she had found good counsel and motherly love in her old friend Rithelwen, who s honest words and practical approaches greatly helped Ellaria to stay sane while the inner struggle about her future with Thranduil had threatened the queen.

There were no secrets between the two friends. Ellaria had been open about all matters concerning her married life and Rithelwens ears had glowed on many occasions out of anger or embarrassment towards her king.

Another source of happiness and guidances for Ellaria had been her godmother, Galadrielle. Hearing news about Ellaria s miraculous return to this world, the lady of the light had been on her way to greet her godchild, when almost running into her by chance in Imladris.

The Elvenqueen had trusted Galadrielle with the full truth of what she had discovered when visiting the frozen lake with Gandalf. The revelation had shocked Galadrielle beyond telling and she insisted on passing this information to Thranduil as soon as possible.

Ellaria persistently repeated the need to first cure her husband from his inner darkness, should he desire to continue their marriage and with bold stubbornness, Ellaria had finally found out a possible way to do so, from a reluctant lady of the light.

Galadrielle had stretched many times how dangerous this suggestion was, both for Ellaria s fea and body. In her current state, it could even mean death if things went out of control.

The Elvenqueen would have to penetrate Thranduils walls which had been build to keep all personal horrors securely locked inside him until they would shatter and all darkness might come forth in one violent blow. Knowing the strong will and unrulable character of the mighty Elvenking and considering the amount of hurt and agony which must have reduced Thranduil s fea to the devastated state he was in right now, Galadrielle had strongly advised to leave this dangerous undertaking for a later time, when Ellaria s strength would be fully restored again.

The queen had promised to consider a delay, but the lady of the light still feared for her.

 

So, when seeing the royal couple being united again, Galadielles joy about Ellarias much relaxed and smiling face was mixed with anxiety about the future.

Still their greeting was warm and kind and Thranduil almost charmingly required after the lady s well-being before requesting a private talk with her. Ellaria s eyes had fallen on her sons fine features and she went off to greet him, granting the king the much-needed time to discuss his most pressing concerns with Galadrielle.

„Yours fears are not without reason, my lord“ she answered his questions „for my goddaughters health has suffered greatly, both mentally and physically. I have never seen her so fragile and defenseless. All her protection has been shattered by her wakening to this new life and until your arrival this morning, there was nothing to keep her in this world. Her will to become part of our lives again needs to be restored and quick. For I fear her light is fading.“ 

 

The Elvenking s face had turned into a mask of disguised fear but it wasn t sufficient for the task. His worries showed in his eyes, blasting out from his very soul as he stared at the elleth who had just verbalized the most terrifying truth for him.

„How can this be done, my lady?“ Thranduil almost whispered in responds.   
His faces breaking into an expression of such sorrow, it stung Galadrielle s heart with a sudden feeling of the sweet pain of all-consuming love. 

„I can not even imagine how helpless this mighty ellon must feel, seeing the love of his live fade before his eyes. And because of circumstances he created. The guilt and anxiety must nearly drive him insane“ she thought to herself. 

A gentle smile lightened the ladys delicate features when finally she replied. Galadielle placed one hand on Thranduil s arm to underline her reassuring words.

„I don t mean to intrude too deep into your privacy but from what Ellaria told me during the past weeks, your connection had always been exceptionally strong in every sense.“ Seeing a slight blush creeping on the kings cheeks, the lady suppressed a laugh and continued „However helpful a fruitful physical connection is between marriage partners, I would rather suggest to focus all your efforts on reinforcing your wife s mental strength first. Her body is still weak and will continue to be so for quite some time, but it seems to me that her fea could be restored to former power in a shorter time, if you are able to take the necessary measures.“ 

Thranduil felt Galadrielle s inquiring glance on him, as if she tried to judge for herself whetheror not the Elvenking would be potent enough to fight his own demons and cure his wife. 

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second while he exhaled.

„Thranduil, I believe you can supply her with all needed attention and love. Ellaria wants nothing but you, but only if you are able to treat her as you did before. A continuation of this restrained exchange between you two will surely extinguish the flame of her spirit for good. Are you prepared to heal your wife in the needed way, my friend.“

His eyes had been traveling to follow Ellaria s movements but flew back to Galadrielle after her last sentence. His gleam almost painful in it s intensity. „He is unique in every way.“ Galadrielle thought while waiting for Thranduil s reaction to her challenge.

„I am, my lady. With all my heart and soul. I won t fail her again.“ 

 

„Ada,“ a well-known voice called in an almost happy tone. „what a pleasure to see you here. I hope you are well?“ Legolas approached his father and brought an end to the heavy conversation the king had just shared with the lady Galadrielle.

„Legolas, it lightens my heart to see you and in such merry mood.“ Thranduil replied affectionately. There was a second of unbelieving silence.

The prince had to digest the king s answer to his greetings. Legolas was not used to such informality and expressions of emotions from his father s side. „I will get used to it...“ he thought before embracing his father. „Look, nana is coming over as well. She is obviously unable to stay away from your side now that you have returned to her.“   
„Well son, it wasn t me, who rode off and ...“   
„I was speaking of your heart rather than your physical presence, Ada.“ And with a light smile Legolas welcomed his mother into the family circle.

 

Walking beside his wife, Thranduil exclaimed „Legolas has changed significantly in the past month, Ellaria.Your love and counsel have help him to grow up and rid himself of all bitterness...“ „Thank you, my love. As much as your observation honors me, I have to share the glory with Tauriel. This elleth is working real magic on your son, I would say.“

„Ellaria, I know the sort of magic which is able to heal all wounds. It is called love and I m here to present you with it as well...“ The queens slightly cold hand closed around his slender fingers in an iron grip and he saw her swallow hard to his statement.

Seeing her struggling with emotions, the king gently placed her hand into his large and warm palm. „My lady, will you let me hold you hand?“ he asked all serious. And Ellaria s face broke into a broad smile of happiness. „With pleasure my lord“ she answered playfully. „Are you courting me, Thranduil?“ the queen asked more to tease her husband but when she glanced into his ice-blue lenses, the look inside them made her abandon all teasing, while her heart started pounding faster.

Lifting his wife s small hand to his lips, the Elvenking blew a feather-light kiss on it. „Indeed I m, Ellaria.“ His eyes darkening with emotions before he broke the eye-contact and started to walk along while holding her hand with a new tenderness that made them both sigh secretly with hope.

 

The king continued his gentle approached towards his wife for the next few days. The result being more than anyone could have hoped for. Ellaria started to lean into his tenderness, and the support the queen took from it, made her grow strong in mind and soul again. 

Their relationship held nothing sexual at the moment. Thranduil s sole concern was about his wife s health and sanity and he applied utmost attention to any of her emotions, adjusting his behavior to her demands even before the queen herself realized her needs.

 

The absence of sexual intercourse between the partners gave them a chance to fully concentrate on each others needs and wishes. There was nothing to distract either one from exploring their partners character and intimacy was established entirely on a mental level. 

The king would hold his wife at night for many hours, inviting her to stride through his inside world, opening his heart and fea as much as possible to her eager eyes and Ellaria slowly found back her self-confidence and equilibrium by what she discovered in Thranduil s soul. There was still a rigour dwell of love for her person, floating his inner world and bringing new life to the devastation lingering there.

But it was an attempt to grow life without sunshine. For darkness still lived inside the Elvenking and Ellaria knew, it would never leave him without her interference. Her determination to free her husband from it grew stronger with every visit to his mighty fea.

Thranduil on the other hand found many unexpected revelations about his wife s state of mind during these hours of gentle re-bonding. Ellaria had changed considerably. Now that strength came back to her, her recently added character-trades showed clearly.

Just like Legolas, she had gown up. Being hurt so many times in such heavy ways, hers emotions had matured. Her dealing with emotions as well as the creation of them inside her had been refined and was now more controlled and less carefree. This gave her a new depth of character, the Elvenking highly valued and admired.

The queen was more considerate but no less loving and for the first time since Ellaria had been thrown back into this world, Thranduil felt a glimpse of hope for their shared future.

Apart from spending much time in each others company, the king and queen also indulged in long counsels with the ones dear to them. Legolas found himself the benefited person of this new constellation. His parents showing an eager interest in his emotional world as well as his plans and wishes for the future.

Although it gave Ellaria great pain to part with her son so soon again, she supported Legolas wish to continue his life away from the woodland realm for some time. The queen knew about the possible dangers in the darkening world, she felt the growing shadow creep upon Middle-Earth much stronger than anyone else and the reason for it she would have to relate to her husband soon.

 

Galadrielle had been pressing this issue since the king s arrival to Imladris and finally Ellaria consented to have the necessary talk about her abduction 600 years ago.

 

The lady of the light took in into hand to arrange the proper settings for this most important talk. Lord Elrond was also present since what Ellaria had to reveal to them would have to made known to all forces fighting the growing darkness.

Glancing around the room to focus everybody s attention on her, Galadrielle started the introduction 

„My friends, I have called you here today to discuss a most serious matter, which was related to be by my beloved goddaughter, queen Ellaria...“ Strong fingers closed slowly around Ellaria s hand and she could hear Thranduil s heart picking up speed as Galadrielles words sank in.

Sending her husband a reassuring look, the Elvenqueen started to relate her discovery when visiting the frozen lake with Gandalf on her second day back in this world.

Thranduil s eyes growing wider with every word, his wifes perfect lips issued. His head started spinning but he took control of his emotions, forcing his brain to concentrate on Ellaria s narration.

„...It became clear to me then, what had happened to me hadn t been murder but abduction.“ To these words, Thranduil inhaled sharply, using all the self-control available to him to stay composed. 

„Ellaria, what does that mean?“

„I wasn t sure myself for a long time what this really means but now that I spoke to Lady Galadrielle about it, I feel the need to share my memories with you all.  
I was taken from you, my love by Azok the defiler and kept prisoner by the evil creature until the day my abductor was killed by Thorin Oakenshield.“ 

Ellaria felt a heavy knot forming in her throat and a rock suddenly filling her belly with such heavy weight, it became hard for her to sit up straight. Thranduil s face showed unbelieving doubt and pain. He felt betrayed and deprived of his wife by what Ellaria had just reveal to them.

But most of all, he felt confused and irritated by her confession.

 

„Why, Ellaria?“ was his single question. Put forward in his emotionless voice, indicating how close to the edge of loosing it the Elvenking really was.

„From what I remember vaguely,“ here the queen swallowed hard before continuing with a stare at her husband „Azok was to keep me for his master.“

Elrond, unable to keep silent any longer, cut in „Why? The shadow is growing stronger for sure. I can feel his evil wish to destroy this world once more, but Sauron has not truly returned until now. He is lacking his most powerful object, the ring of power...“

„What would he have to do with my wife?“ Thranduil s sharp voice cried out. „ Or was it some kind of revenge from this foul creature Azok on me, Ellaria?“

„I believe not, it was truly Azok s master commanding him to keep your queen until he would be able to re-imbody his evil soul and...“ Galadrielle was cut short by an enraged Elvenking.

His face showed murderous anger and a wish to slay someone in order to rid himself of the iron fist closing around his heart as the discussion continued. Deep inside, the Elvenking felt a suspicion build which was too monsteros to even be considered and he pushed it aside with much force.

„Why you, Ellaria. Tell me then, what did he want you for?“

The queen paled and Galdrielle was sure she would faint any second. So the lady of the light hurried to explain without paying much attention to the choice of her words anymore 

„Because your wife had proven her ability to produce an heir...“

Galadrielle s sentence stayed unfinished once more as the king shot up from his chair, sending it tumbling on the ground while pulling his wife with him.

 

„NO“ the two letters were expressed with such desperation, it silenced the room for many moments.

Thranduil pulled Ellaria almost violently against him, holding her in an iron embrace which made it hard for the Elvenqueen to breath. Feeling pure terror washing over her husband, threatening him deeper than anything had ever done before, Ellaria tried to sooth him back into reason.

She let him hold her as long and as close as he needed to, before she started mumbling gently against his chest.

„My love, nothing happened and it is only a vague memory of a conversation I witnessed through the mist of oblivion. I might be mistaken and...“

„No Ellaria, I m convinced your memory is correct.“ His words sounded pressed and heavy with emotions. Finally Thranduil unlocked the tight embrace he had been keeping Ellaria in, giving her space to breath. When she dared to look up and search for his eyes, the expression inside them made her almost wince.

„I will take you home right away and Valar knows, I have a mind to lock you in my dungeons so no one will ever be able to even get close to you.“ 

Hearing Elrond and Galadrielle inhale deeply to make known their protests to this exclamation, Ellaria simply started to laugh into Thranduil s stern face which changed from raging anger and horror to confusion before betraying the Elvenkings real emotions, he felt helpless, scared and utterly confused.

 

„I m so sorry I didn t tell you before about my discovery, Thranduil. I wasn t sure what it meant and how you would react to it. And I did not wish to give you further pain....“

„If further pain, anxiety and sorrow about your well-being is the price I ll have to pay for your return, I m more than willing to accept it.“ Thranduil s voice sounded determined. He had recovered quickly from the shock Ellaria s memories had given him. After all she was back in his arms and this time no one would be able take her away from him. Of that Thranduil was sure.

A fierce discussion about the appropriate measures to be taken broke out after Thranduil and Ellaria had resumed their places at the table but the Elvenqueen was too distracted with her own emotions to listen at all.

The release she felt about having nothing to hide anymore from her husband was far too great to waste one single thought about how Tharnduil or anyone else would ever be able to guarantee her safety since she had caught the evil eye s attention.

The shadow was growing in the dark and there was still another source of darkness, Ellaria had to fight back before her life could become truly happy again. But Thranduil would be by her side to see it all through with her.

He was back and by his own choice. This thought lightened the queen s heart considerably.

That same afternoon Ellaria and Thranduil bade good-bye to Imladris and their son who was determined to continue his journey into adventure.

The king was possessed by an all-consuming need to have Ellaria back in his halls. There he would be able to care for her the way she needed it right now. 

The royal couple set out to the woodland realm and a shared future as husband and wife again. Ellaria felt light at heart while riding on Thranduil s majestic elk, her husband s strong arm wrapped securely around her waist to keep her close and safe.


	12. Darkness

The king s heart was pounding hard and wild in his chest while his eyes shut, so he could fully concentrate on the sensation of sharing his wife s body again. The excitement as well as the carnal pleasure of feeling Ellaria s softness on his skin and around his most sensitive parts, took Thranduil away from his everyday lifes sorrows.

 

He had been shocked and scared out of his mind by Ellaria s confession about her abduction. A part of him wanted to lead his army into Mordor to devastate every last part of this already wasted country but it was checked by this other part telling the Elvenking that it had been his own fault to let such dreadful things happen to his queen. He had failed Ellaria by not keeping her safe and by blaming her for leaving him.

Unreasonable as it was, Thranduil knew that deep down in a well-locked place there was resentment towards his most beloved wife for all the misery she had forced him to endure by leaving his side. It was unfair and completely out of line to foster such emotions but he just couldn t help it. And the worst part was, that she knew.

The queen had tried to establish an honest relationship between them after Thranduil brought her home. Both partners had done their utmost to ensure a new blooming of their love by opening up to each other as far as possible. The way Thranduil would court his wife for all to see, the small signs of his love and attention towards his wife had been so well placed that by now the whole palace was infatuated with the fierce struggle of re-establishing a once so glorious bond.

Ellaria had also spend many hours with her friend Rithelwen in the little cabin outside the palace but was never allowed to walk outside the gates without at least 2 guards. The king still felt very anxious about his wife and acted a bit on edge whenever Ellaria left his halls. 

A few days after their arrival back home, the queen had made it obvious, she wanted to take on the physical part of their relationship as well. Feeling much stronger and healthier by now, she had persuaded Thranduil that it was time to perform his duties again and both of them rejoiced in the found back intimacy and the additional closeness it brought them.

But Thranduil was still not himself again and Ellaria had taken all measures to finally free him of his demons. Her king was a prisoner of his own misery and she would not let him suffer any longer. So there she was now, in this arms, getting ready to take him back to life, real life and real feelings. 

She might lose her own life to the task, but she would not fail him.

 

Thranduil s moments of utter bliss was suddenly brought to an end by his wife s gentle voice whispering „My love, I did not desert you on purpose. You have to forgive me.“

His head jerked up and his eyes widened in shock. 

The king s gaze bore into Ellaria s soul, commanding her to stop this conversation but he felt her resistance at once. It was strong and daring. She would not comply to his request but fight it out.

„Thranduil, I didn t want to die, I would have never left you willingly. Your pain hurts me so deep. Let me take it from you....“

His hands grabbed her shoulder with such violence, it made Ellaria inhale sharply as tears came to her eyes. „NO, Ellaria. Don t do this, please. Stop at once.“ „I will not. The darkness has to leave you now. I will free you from it.“ 

Her words echoing in his soul, frightening the Elvenking as nothing had ever done before. Ellaria had found the place he had tried so hard to hide from her and she would breach his walls until her task was finished...and she would lose her life to his rage.

Thranduil felt it building up inside him already. It threatens to overtake his senses anytime now, leaving him a helpless puppet to his darkest feelings and most brutal actions. He needed to stop her, even by violence. 

Taking over her body with a forceful trust, he was sure to distract Ellaria from her task for at least some seconds. The physical pain of his deliberately raw treatment gave him a little time to regain control over his fea ...but she was still there. Her determination stronger than the concern for her own life.

 

„Unlimited control over your mind and soul is what you vowed to me, husband.“ The queen breathed heavily „now, you will grant it....“ Another electric jolt of sharp pain ran through her body as the king used the last source of defense available to him.

His rage turned against his wife in the meanest and most primitive way, possessing her body in a way that would force her to give into his demand of leaving his mind again.

Darkness was pouring out of the clefts, Ellarias words had struck in his wall of defense. It would bring them both down, destroy them in a mental as well as physical way.

 

Thranduils fingers pulled harshly on Ellarias soft curls, forcing her head back, so his devouring mouth could seal her lips by force. „Stop it Ellaria. I will hurt you, please stop, stop, stop....“ repeating the word with every deep and hard trust he executed on her quivering body.

He was hurting her, so much and so deep. Tearing her soul as well as all trust she had ever felt for her husband apart and threatening to destroy her body by physical force.

Her voice was pleading for mercy but he would not grant it. He could not, while her inner voice was still penetrating his well protected emotions.

Knowing that her body would not be able to withstand Thranduil s attack much longer, Ellaria prepared a last sentence to bring down his mental blockage.

 

„I did not put Legolas before you. I saved him because he was YOUR son. Never have I loved anyone more than you, Thranduil.

 

There was a scary sound leaving the king s chest, almost like a wounded animal. It was the last noise Ellaria recognized before something her mind went blank.

 

She must have lost conscience but when she woke again, her husband s mighty body was still torturing her and she felt tears streaming down her cheeks. She was scared for her life, her sanity and even for her love for him. The darkness which was ruling over Thranduil now would surely destroy all that was dear to her and finally only grant her the peace of death.

„... and I took Nemalia to bed. To our bed, so many times and in so many ways. I took my pleasure from her, a pleasure you would never give me...because you were dead. Dead! You left me, you left our child and you betrayed your vows towards me...“

Ellaria felt something break inside her, she couldn t even distinguish her mental from her physical pain anymore, but the smell of blood found its way to her nostrils.

„Thranduil, please stop. I m begging you. You are hurting me..“  
„Don t you dare begging me for anything. You invoked my wrath, now you will suffer it.“

And he went on, sending her all kinds of emotions and images of his own nightmare, despair and loneliness. It broke her heart and left Ellaria with the wish to be done with her miserable life.

 

„And how do you feel now? What is left of your great love, now that you know the truth“ a wicked voice teased the queen.

The sharp pain of Thranduils teeth biting her already bruised lips brought Ellaria back to reality. She knew she had lost her battle and she might not survive the force she had unleashed but there was one thing still left for her to answer.

Every last spark of her life s energy was put into Ellaria s outburst of emotions now. 

Like an explosion of sunlight it brought down Thranduil s walls, rushing through his veins to take root in his heart, mind and soul. 

It was one thought and the purest manifestation of it one can ever imagine. 

„I love you“ and with this, the queen lost herself to darkness.


	13. Dawn

Thranduil woke to the sensation of warmth and carefree happiness. His body ached like after a serious battle, every muscle being overworked and tense from too much exercise. But his head or rather his mind felt light and at peace. Keeping his eyes shut for another moment while his senses slowly came back to him, the Elvenking indulged in this feeling he hadn t known since decades. Warm, happy, light and loved. This was how he felt...until memory hit him.

„Ellaria?“ he cried out and with one swift movement he was on his feet to search for his wife. But the queen was nowhere to be found. Panic started to creep upon Thranduil, covering the pleasant feelings with its iron grip, while images of last night s events kept flashing through the king s mind.

„..please stop, you are hurting me....you have to forgive me...I never loved anyone more than you....“ 

„Ellaria“ the king was worried out of his mind by now, shouting her name as if his commanding voice could undo the deeds his body had executed last night.

„No, no, nooo...“ Thranduil almost lost his sanity when his gaze found a large rusty strain on his bed sheets. He didn t have to come closer to know it was dried blood. Ellaria s blood. His head started spinning when the door opened behind his back and the captain of his guard slowly entered the royal chambers.

 

„My lord, please calm yourself. I m carrying a message from...“ Thranduil s face was an image of misery and guilt. It was so heart-breaking, even Tauriel had to stop in her speech for a moment. Taking a few steps further into the room until she was sure to have his attention.

„Tauriel, the queen...I ..I have...I „

„The queen asked me to give you a message...“

„A message? She is...alive?“

The king was utterly confused and scared. Not knowing what to do and what to think. He knew Ellaria had succeeded in her attempt to free him from the overwhelming darkness, but he didn t know about the price she had payed for it. The thought alone turned his guts to ice and made his heart pound wildly in his aching chest.

„I took her to Rithelwen s hut last night after...after.“ Tauriel was lost for words and Thranduil noticed how the captain of his guard would avoid any eye contact. He could hardly blame her. Imagining the state his wife must have been in when Tauriel had found her...

„I ll see her at once.“

„Stop!“ 

Both elves were shocked by Tauriel s daring command but she continued in a softer voice „My lord, may I suggest you change your cloth first. Your gown is blood soaked and it would surely start some heavy gossiping...anyway the queen is asleep by now.“

Tauriel wasn t at all sure how her mighty king would take her suggestion but finally looking up to meet his eyes she only found confusion in his gaze. And a softness she had never seen before. He was definitely different. Maybe her friends sacrifice hadn t been in vain after all...but what a price Ellaria had payed.

Images of a devastated, blood stained queen popping up before Tauriel s inner eye times and again. 

It had been close to dawn when the king s personal guard had woken her on the queen s request. She had been summoned to the royal chambers at once under much secrecy. The guard s pale face already indicating that something was terrible amiss there.

Tauriel had entered the chambers after being called in by a muffled voice. Ellaria s voice. But what Tauriel found there on the floor, crouched into a wracked ball of blood and bruises had nothing to do with the elegant person of the Elvenqueen. Tauriel had suppress her own cry of agony with her hands, kneeling at once by Ellaria s side to console her.

„My lady...Ellaria, what happened to you? Who did this?“ It had been written murder all over the captain s face, her right hand instinctively flying to her dagger, in case the intruder was still somewhere hidden in this room. But the only other soul present had been the Elvenking himself.

Slowly taking in his appearance, the same stains on his nightgown and flesh made Tauriel feel sick with a horrible suspicion.

„No...it can not be. The king loves you far to much and ....“

A small trembling hand had covered hers at once. „It wasn t my husband, but the darkness inside him. I challenged it and fought it best as I could. I knew the danger, Tauriel but still...“ Ellaria s voice broke and heavy sobs shook her delicate body. „..I had to do it, Tauriel. There was no other way...he begged me to stop, he warned me, he pleaded and then the darkness took over.“

„Ellaria,“ swallowing hard to keep her own tears at bay, Tauriel concentrated on her practical side. Placing her own strong hand on the quivering shoulders of her lovely queen, she was able to calm her friend before asking „What can I do?“

 

She had taken her to Rithelwen s cabin outside the palace, trying to hide her as best as she could from any unwelcome glance. In the end she had carried Ellaria, wondering how anyone would ever hurt something as fragile as the delicate elleth in her arms.

The head-healer of the woodland realm however hadn t seemed too surprise to receive an injured queen to her humble cabin at night. For sure, Ellaria must have talked about her plans to her friend before.

But even Rithelwen s much experienced eyes started to water when seeing the full picture of the brutal violence, with which the queen had been taken to the edge of death once again.

„Oh my little one, why did you have to be so stubborn? Why not heed my advise. You could have lived a happy life by his side without sacrificing your body and most likely your soul to his demons. Look what your love for him did to you....Ellaria, my love....why?“

It took all Ellaria s will to answer her friend s call, but she did. Reaching for Rithelwen s hand, she held it with as much strength as was left to her, looking straight into the older elleths eyes before her hoarse voice whispered „Rithelwen, I can feel him in my fea again. It was well worth it...“ 

Traces of a small smile played around her split lower lip before Ellarias eyes closed. Giving her a peaceful look, which produced more tears on the two ellyths cheeks who were still shocked about their friends injuries.

 

It took Rithelwen a long time to see to all of Ellaria s wounds and bruises and the queen woke a few times to the pain, inflicted by the healers work. There was a moment of pure terror and a heart-breaking whimpering, when Rithelwen reached between Ellarias thighs to stop the bleeding.

„Please no, you are hurting me. Stop Thranduil, I m begging you.“ 

Checking her own emotions, Rithelwen gently stroke Ellaria s forehead for some time to coax her back to sleep, whispering with her well-known motherly voice that everything was going to be fine.

 

Never in her life Tauriel had been put through such heavy emotions for such a torturing long time. And just before giving in to one of Rithelwen s potions, which would take her into a dreamless sleep, Ellaria had issued the words, which brought the captain of the guard back to the royal chambers.

„Please Tauriel, tell him where to find me. He will be so worried...“ 

 

For the first time ever, she had considered ignoring an order. The last creature she wanted to meet after this far to vivid nightmare was the Elvenking. In the end it was loyalty towards her friend rather than obedience which took her back to stand before the heavy oaken doors. 

Hearing Thranduil s panicked voice calling out for his wife gave Tauriel goosebumps all over....  
“This is what real love does to you“ she thought bitterly. „It destroys you in every way. Leaves you vulnerable and raging mad in your own cold blood...“ 

The second cry of her tormented monarch had finally brought Tauriel to open the door and convey her message.  
Again the image of what she found in this glorious room would haunt her for a long time.

A completely wracked, confused and panicked Elvenking, taking orders from his captain of the guards wasn t something, Tauriel had ever fancied to experience.

„This is real“ she thought „Far too real“


	14. To heal

„Rithelwen?“ the king s voice was shaking with emotions when entering the healer s cabin. He had almost ran the short distance after leaving the palace. Every heart beat telling him to hurry to his wife s side but when he finally stood in front of the small wooden door, his courage failed him. 

What would he find inside the hut? And would he be able to a stand the sight and consequences of it?

Seeing Rithelwen s tired face, her eyelids puffy from fatigue and the many tears she had obviously shed, Thranduil felt his heart sinking even lower.

„Majesty...“ Her voice did not betray her emotions but the king could feel the enormous struggle inside the healer to keep calm in his presence. To her, he must seem like the cruel and hateful being. He could sense her reluctance to suffer his person in her home but she would have to deal with it. He had come for his wife after all.

„Where is she, Rithelwen?“ swallowing hard, Thranduil placed the question he feared beyond anything „...and how is she?“ His voice becoming a mere whisper at the end.

 

„The queen is asleep now. She was seriously wounded when Tauriel brought her to me and it took me many hours trying to heal the wounds inflicted by your rage...“ 

„I will see her now.“

 

The king was in no mood to listen to Rithelwen s accusations, knowing at the same time that he owed it. But the most pressing issue on his mind was Ellaria. He needed to see the damage his demons had done with his own eyes.

„Stop Thranduil.“ A small but strong hand fell on his chest as the healer blocked the king s way to the small bedroom, where Ellaria lay sound asleep in Rithelwen s own bed.

Thranduil just stared at the creature, daring to disrespect the kings order. For a moment he was too confused to even answer this offense appropriately, so Rithelwen continued.

„I..you... what you need to know before getting close to Ellaria is that she was harmed by your actions physically as well as mentally. I m not sure yet to what extent her inside wounds will influence your live as a couple. I mean, I m not sure how she will react to your touch,so you must approach her through your bond first before forcing any physical contact on her which might not be welcome, to say the least.“

The king s face showed a storm of hurt and confusion. He could not believe Rithelwen s words but slowly it dawned on him, he might not be the cure for Ellaria s injuries after last night s violence.

In a low voice he answered „So you are saying my very touch might scare her?“

This time it was Rithelwen who had to take a deep breath before replying. Seeing pure desperation playing on the king s features as he tried to digest this horrible information which had obviously not ocured to him so far.

„All I m saying, my lord, is that physical contact between you two should only be established with her permission. With time, Ellaria might be able to tolerate this contact again but most definitely she will never be able to share intimacy with you after what happened.“

 

Thranduil had paled to a degree which made Rithelwen worry for him. His mouth fell open but no words would leave his lips. He was shocked beyond telling. 

A part of Rithelwen rejoiced in this moment but it was taken down the next second by her finer feelings and loving attitude towards the royal couple, so she continued „But although you almost slaughtered her with your....body, you seem to have freed her spirit and your own as well. The few words Ellaria spoke to me were about her happiness to finally being truly connected with you again. I believe this will be strong base to built on.“

Still the kings face was an emotionless mask and Rithelwen knew that nothing but the sight of his wife would undo his stuck emotions right now. With a deep sigh, the healer let her king pass through the heavy curtains, separating the parlor from her bedroom. 

There was silence for a long time after Thranduil had stepped in and his eyes fell on the elleth underneath the covers.

Fear, guilt, need, frustration and love, so much love and hope was reigning over the king s heart and mind while his gaze rested on his wifes peaceful face. Her lips were swollen and the lower one seemed to be split as well but the expression around Ellarias closed eyes was calm.

Taking a step closer towards the bed, Thranduil whispered as if in trance „What have I done to you, my love?“ His voice holding shock, anxiety and an undisguised horror about Ellaria s state.

„My lord, I tried my best to heal her...but it seems that all my powers are useless in the face of the dark evil force which wounded her so severely.“ Suppressing a sob which took all Rithelwen s will power, the healer concluded „...I guess only you will be strong enough to heal her injuries properly.“ The kings head turning around in a second, his ice bue lenses piercing her with an unbelieving look of new found hope.

„I need to see the full picture, Rithelwen. Please lift the cover, so I can esteem where to start my treatment.

The healer was already so desperate, she oblidged him at once, not even trying to persuade Thranduil to spare himself the sight of all his wife s marks and wounds at once. Taking of the blanket however, Rithelwen heard the king gasp with horror to the sight of his wife.

The next moment he dropped to his knees beside the small bed, his body shaking heavily from long suppressed tears. „Elli, Elli, what have I done? Why did you have to force it? I wasn t worth it, Ellaria....will you ever forgive me? Elli...“ He was crying his heart out to the silence presence of his wife s sleeping body. 

Until all of a sudden, he heard her calling his name. It was inside his head, loud and clear. „Thranduil...you came for me? Will you stop the pain? “ And the king set to work at once.

Pushing aside his emotions to fully concentrate on his wife s injuries, he let his hand descend very carefully on her belly. The situation feeling familiar to him, he had already stopped the bleeding from her womb once after her miscarriage and the known sensations calmed him down enough to achieve this task quickly. 

The feeling of her skin underneath his palm as well as her reinforced presence in his fea the second he established physical contact between them was so overwhelmingly sweet, the Elvenking could not resist to indulge in this long forgotten feeling of really being bonded and ... loved.

He had to pull himself together, forcing his mouth to continue whispering the ancient words of magic. Asking the powers of nature to bend to his wishes and fight all evil which had devastated his wife so utterly. 

Ellaria wounds weren t just on her body. The most severe one had been inflicted on her mind, so only the king s ancient magic was able to save the queen from her sufferings.

Rithelwen and Tauriel watching in amazement while Thranduil continued his treatment. His eyes shout and sparkles of energy radiating from his person over to Ellaria s small frame.

Not once did the queen wince back from her husband s touch. It was quite the contrary. Ellaria seemed to lean into his presence. Her fea was open to Thranduil s mighty spirit and responded to him with much eagerness. 

So the king dared to venture further. After healing a dark bruise on Ellaria s wrist, he gently brought her arm up for his lips to descend on the just healed flesh. It was an expression of his deepest love and greatest need for his wife and Ellaria s lips started trembling slightly. 

Thranduil gave her time to calm again before moving his thump ever so slightly over the split lower lip, forcing the cut to heal finally.

It was at this exact moment, Ellarias eyes half opened and she tried to bring her head up. She was graving for more physical contact from her husband and her hands started searching for his face which he willingly brought closer to hers. A tiny smile played around her healed mouth and she whispered „Thranduil“ before sinking back into oblivion.

The moment had been brief but it meant the world to the Elvenking. Her voice had sounded full of love and need for him. Maybe Rithelen was wrong. Maybe his wife would still be able to tolerate at least his touch. Thranduil s heart started racing with joy. 

Physical contact had always been important to him. He was a passionate being and the prospect of not being able to hold and comfort his wife in the most natural way anymore had threatened him to the core.

Now it was hope lightening up the king s heart, giving him a look of peaceful contentment. 

For the moment, the small sign of Ellaria s affection for him was all, the mighty Elvenking could ever wish for.


	15. Sunsrise

The king lost no time to set many things right, now that he had finally been freed of all the hard feelings torturing his mind and soul since decades. 

Ellaria

His love, his live and now also his salvation. He owed her so much and Thranduil s mind was searching for any possible way to make her life happy again...if she would still be able to accept him.

Many things needed to change or be changed to make Ellaria feel at home again.

Tharnduil s first action was to have all their items moved from the royal chambers to the queen s room. He would not have Ellaria stay in a place soaked with heavy memories of pain and despair...and she would never sleep in the defiled bed where he had used Nemalia s body to destroy his marriage bond to his queen. The room would be emptied, cleaned and refurnished before Thranduil even propose to use it as their shared center of life again.

Standing in the middle of the empty chamber, the king send one intense look around, his mind swirling one question again and again. It was a daring thought, scaring him as much as exciting the his curiosity.

Finally Thranduil decided to act and in another second his hands closed around the brooch on his chest. He could feel its power running through his body while he directed all his ancient powers to bend this piece of jewelry to his will. 

A silken voice whispering words, old words, of magic and of power and suddenly a soft crack was heard as the cold material in Thranduil s hand started to move as if it had become alive. A deep sigh left the kings throat, so full of release, it made Tauriel still in her movement.

 

She had come to speak to her king, asking for her discharge from his services. Standing in the door-frame now, her eyes grew wider by the second. What was happening here? The whole room had been emptied in such a short time. What was on the king s mind? Such were Tauriels thoughts as she felt Thranduil s gaze upon her.

„My lord, I came to ...“

„I know why you came to me, Tauriel.“ His voice was calm and measured, it held an almost soft undertone and Tauriel felt her courage slip with every word. The king took a few steps further in her direction until he stood before her, tall and majestically. „A great king for our great realm“ Tauriel admitted in her own mind as she waited for him to continue.

„Of course I will accept your decision, if this is truly what your heart tells you to do.“ 

„My heart??“ she thought. Tauriel s confusion grew rapidly hearing the usually so cold and emotionless king speak about issues of her heart and feelings.

„But first, let me apologize to you, Tauriel.“

Her jaw dropped open and her eyes stared at the creature in front of her.

„I sincerely ask for your forgiveness for my unfair treatment towards you and your feelings for my son. I know that by my orders, I destroyed both your happiness. I should have never interfered in your personal affairs. My son was given by far more emotional intelligence and the choice where to lay his heart and love had been wise....I see that now and it grieves me much to know I was the source of your misery. Please forgive me.“

 

It took Tauriel some seconds but after swallowing hard a few times, she finally found back her speech. „ My lord, there is no need, it is all done with by now and ....“ here she had to stop. Heavy sobs started breaking through her layers of self-control and tears found their way down her cheeks.

Thranduil took one step closer and pulled the crying captain of his guard into his arms for comfort.

How different Tauriel felt from the elleth he usually held like this. Tauriel was taller and physically stronger than Ellaria, but her fea was much more fragile than his wife s.

Having gone through some terrible hurts and losses during the battle of the five armies, the king could still detect some tender spots in her soul. She was nowhere near to be healed, he thought. Maybe another encounter with the prince might help her to overcome her demons.

Gently freeing herself from Thranduil s embrace, Tauriel dried her tears quickly to whisper under her breath „Thank you.“ 

Turning to leave the chamber, not having the will or wish to see through her previous intention. But the king stopped her again.

„Tauriel, I called for my son s return to my halls for some time. I wanted you to know, Legolas should arrive in about a month from now.“

Quickly nodding her tilted head, Tauriel finally took her leave from too many emotions threatening to overtake her any moment.   
Thranduil stayed for some time longer in the empty room which held so many happy memories but also a huge need for changes.

 

The captain of the guard was in uproar. Too many emotions filled her still recovering heart.   
Legolas woud be back.   
She needed to apologize to him for her actions on the battlefield as well. Tauriel knew her feelings for Kili had hurt the prince beyond telling. Especially since he had left her without doubt about his own intentions and emotions when it came to her person. But she had taken the king s speech to heart, accepting that there was no way for her to be with the one she had secretly fallen for....it was all so different now. 

If she wasn t mistaken, the king had somehow given her his consent to be with his son after all. Even taking the blame for her emotional mayhem, and Legolas s broken heart. 

Thranduil, the mighty Sindar Elvenking had apologized to her, a lowly Silvan elf. 

And he had meant it. The way he had held her in his arms. The memory of his muscular body, offering her comfort and release from her distress.   
It had been a breath-taking experience and Tauriel esteemed the queen s action to risk her own life for her husband s peace of mind more understandable by now.   
What it must feel like to be loved by such a strong person as the Elvenking himself, Tauriel could hardly imagine.

She also remembered her own will to die for the one she had loved on the battlefield at Erebor and all questions aside, what lay between Thranduil and Ellaria ran much deeper than what she had felt for Kili.

Still, Thranduil s gesture had been too much for Tauriel to handle.   
He was to intense, to strong and intimidating. She much preferred the gentle and caring prince to the overwhelming king. 

But his aura was undeniable and Tauriel felt goose-bumbs covering her body while her mind drifted into the thought of what his embrace must fell like when his actions where driven by passion rather than pity. 

 

After a busy day, Thranduil was finding some rest in an unfamiliar room.   
Not completely unfamiliar though. He had spend one night by Ellaria s side here, right before their wedding. Fighting off her nightmares, he had fallen asleep accidentally to her intoxicating scent, mixed with the warmth of her soft body pressed against him.

Her body, which lay now still bruised and shattered in Rithelwen s cabin.   
Thranduil had payed them another visit but his wife had been sound asleep still. Rithelwen s potion granting her a peaceful sleep which he didn t have the heart to disturb.

 

Letting his gaze wonder around the slightly smaller room, the king tried to imagine Ellaria s life between these walls right before she became his wife.   
They had been so impatience to finally be together.

Every look or word exchanged between the couple had been so precious, the few kisses, passionate or gently a special treat, each one had cherished for many days after. Surely she must have been content, staying in this chamber. Thranduil could still feel her carefree happiness lingering in every corner of the room and the thought alone made his heart lift with joy. 

The present felicity surrounding him at this very moment would lead the way into the couples shared future.   
The king promised himself to take any measures necessary to achieve this goal.

 

His eyelids slowly descended while the Elvenking lost himself to a wave of fatigue when all of a sudden, Ellaria s voice was in his head.

„Thranduil?“ There was desperation vibrating in her lovely tone. „Where are you, Thranduil?“ The king shot up for his bed, crossing the room with urgent strides.

His wife was in dear need of him. Thranduil had no idea what had happened to her or why she was so desperately calling out to him, but he thanked the Valars for the re-established steady bond between him and Ellaria, so he would perceive her distress even when physically separated for her.

 

Entering the cabin without even a knock, the king found Rithelwen bending over Ellaria, trying hard to calm her.

The queen was twisting and wriggling in her sleep. Her eyes shut tight as well as her lips. Not a single word or sound was issued but Thranduil heard her loud and clear in his mind. Ellaria s distress reflected in his fea and the king didn t lose another moment before rushing over to caress his wife s hand gently with his slender fingers. 

He knew, Ellaria would only be calmed by a sign of his presence and this first contact already made her lie still, her lips finally parting to whisper some incoherent words. Thranduil send Rithelwen a reassuring look, explaining his presence to her in a low voice.

„Best you stay with her, my lord. Her mind seems to be in much uproar about the absence of your person. Please try to calm her best you can. Her body still needs much rest and I don t want her to hurt herself by to much physical exercise.“

„Of course, Rithelwen. With your permission, I will stay next to her tonight. I hope this arrangement doesn t make you feel uncomfortable.“ 

Rithelwen s eyebrows shot up to her sovereigns considerate words. It had been a long time since she had heard Thranduil express his concerns for anyone and it sparked a small glimpse of hope inside the old elleth, her great king might actually have returned as well as her beloved queen. 

She simply nodded her consent and wanted to grant the couple some privacy, when her eyes caught the expression on Thranduil s face while looking down on his wife. 

It twisted her heart to see so much love, longing and gratitude being displayed on the kings beautiful features and she knew that very second, that happiness had finally found its way back to the woodland realm.

 

At the same time, Thranduil was involved in a simple but meaningful conversation in his mind. Ellaria begging him to stay close, not to leave her alone to the darkness of the night. She obviously still feared the demons she had encountered the night before, being unaware thy had already been fought off by her sacrifice.

The king did everything in his power to ease his wife s distress and she calmed to his re-assuring presence, offering her shelter from any kind of evil.   
Being held like this for a long time, Ellaria s body strengthened enough for her to slowly open her heavy eyelids and take a look at her husband. 

Finding his eyes full of love and concern for her, Ellaria gathered the energy to bring her hand slowly on his cheek, her touch so gentle and somehow timid, it broke Thranduil s heart for its sweetness.

„Take me home, Thranduil. Please.“ 

Exchanging a quick glance with Ellaria s friend and healer, Thranduil was sure to have Rithelwen s consent as well before slowly lifting Ellaria into his arms. Her arms going around his neck instinctively, her head falling into its usual position with her nose close to the crook of his neck and with a deep breath, the queen appreciated her most loved scent in the world. Love, safety, tenderness, eternity - Thranduil.

 

A ray of sunlight was the reason for Ellaria s wakening after a night of peaceful dreams in her husband s arms. The queen recognized the place at once. She was in her room, her former room once more and without having to express her feelings, Thranduil felt her release and gratitude for his thoughtfulness of not taking her back into the other bed. The bed which held so many unpleasant memories for her now. She would find a way to live with the memories, Ellaria knew for sure.

All that mattered was set right again. She lay in Thranduils welcoming arms, enveloped by his love, warmed by his magniificent body and connected to his wide open fea.

Live was good and Ellaria felt like the most fortunate being in all Arda. 

Her husband was back, she could feel it with every sense she posessed and it made her smile broadly with confidence for her future as Thranduil s wife.


	16. Guilt

Feeling her stir in his arms, the king slowly brought some distance between Ellaria and himself until he was able to see her face.  
With a deep look he started „Good morning, Ellaria. How do you feel?“ The words sounded slightly distant but the queen detected a swirl of emotions inside her husband s fea. 

Trying to evaluate his state of mind best as she could, Ellaria answered honestly „I still feel tired and weak physically but my mind sings with joy to feel your presence after such long abstinence.“ 

The happiness showing on his wife s face made the king s heart pound with release. She did not fear him, his presence in her mind as well as his physical closeness was welcome to Ellaria. This fact alone was more than Thranduil had hoped for and his chest heaved with a deep sigh.

His eyes started glittering and his voice sounded hoarse when answering Ellaria s honest statement „Eli, what you did for me...the price you payed for it ... I don t know...“ His voice broke and he tried hard to keep his emotions at bay.

„My love, what I did was a selfish act. I know we both payed a heavy price for it...but there was no other way to gain you back...

Seeing her body tremble with emotions now as well, the Elvenking was quick to sooth Ellaria. „Schsch, Eli, we needn t talk about it now. You are still so vulnerable and shaken, but there is one question I must ask you.“ 

Thranduils eyes pleaded for permission while his hands slowly moved forward to gently cup the queen s face. She instinctively moved into his gesture, placing her own hands on his chest to establish a much needed physical connection.

„Is my physical presence still welcome to you?“ 

Thranduil s question puzzled Ellaria and her facial expression showed as much. „I mean, can you still tolerate my touch, Ellaria?“ 

The question was out and the mighty Elvenking felt completely at his wife s mercy. Her answer would decide his fate. A solid rock was forming in Thranduil s stomach while he waited for her reply.

Seeing her eyes widening with understanding, he counted his own heartbeats till her voice finally reached his elvenear.   
„You are more than welcome to me, Thranduil. You are desired, loved and needed....never doubt that, husband.“   
And his vision blurred with tears. His mind still digesting his wife s reassuring sweetness when the warm sensation of Ellaria s soft lips grazed his mouth.

Thranduil just wanted to enjoy the closeness his wife was granting him, but his overpowered body wouldn t be stopped from kissing her back with passion and need, deepening the innocent encounter of their lips while rejoicing in Ellaria s steady interest in his person.

Almost forcing himself to leave her lips after a long time again, the king whispered with his well-known voice like velvet „I feel your weariness, Ellaria. Come take some rest now. We may talk more later, with your consent.“ 

Ellaria sent him a grateful glance before her eyelids shut. Esteeming her asleep again, Thranduil prepared for the day when hearing his wife s voice in his head „Do you perceive my happiness about having you back, my love?“ she asked almost teasingly and the king felt a long closed door inside him opening.   
The door to his heart.

 

All during the day, Thranduils thoughts stayed with his wife. Paying short visits to their new chamber, he found her asleep every time he satisfied his longing for the sight of his queen.

It was almost evening when finally the king found Ellaria sitting in a large chair close to the fireplace. The most striking event when entering the royal chamber was the greeting of her fea inside his own mind. 

She was there, waiting for him, longing for his sight as much as he had been longing for her all day.   
A shallow memory of happy times long gone raced through his mind. His wife s welcoming presence meant home to the Elvenking. 

Home and the promise of a bright future now that the king and queen of the woodland realm had both been returned to their kingdom.

 

„Good evening, husband.“ Ellaria send him a deep glance, feeling his emotions in uproar and trying to evaluate what could be done to re-establish his peace of mind. Holding out her hand for him to take it, the queen sighed quietly when feeling the kings gentle hand caressing hers lovingly.

„How is my wife doing?“ he replied playfully, granting them both a moment of carefree chatting.   
„She has slept through the day and feels quite energetic by now....“   
Seeing his real emotions breaking through the surface of his mesmerizing eyes, Ellaria was quick to continue. „But I see there is something on your mind, Thranduil. Something urgent by the look of you. Will you share your thoughts with me?“

Placing a tender kiss in the palm of her small hand, the king replied in a soft tone „We both know you need not ask about sharing my thoughts anymore. Your actions re-established our bond to a level which grants you free access to any last part of my mind and soul...“ 

„And your heart as well?“

The king felt slightly confused by the Ellaria s tone. Was she worried about his feelings for her? 

„My heart has never been closer to you, Ellaria. Why would you question it?“ 

„Because of what I did to you, Thranduil“ „What YOU did to ME?“ 

His mind was in tumoil, unable to focus on his own heavy thoughts while he tried to understand his wife s distress.   
Tension finally got too much for him to be seated, so he got up to stroll like a caged animal in front of his wife s irritated glance.

„Ellaria, what I did to YOU is more what troubles my mind at this very moment. I..I ..it was...“ 

He wasn t lost for words for long. There was a point of no return and Tharnduil had reached it. His head shot up again to meet Ellarias eyes and his voice issued the words which had been haunting him since the second he woke to an empty room filled with memories of a brutal violation against his wife.

„It was rape, Ellaria. I raped you...“

Now it was the queen who shot up from her chair. 

„No Thranduil...“ Feeling her head spin after this abrupt action, she had to take a deep breath before being able to verbalize her own worries.

„It was me raping your mind. Abusing the power you had granted me with your wedding vow. And it is me who has to ask your forgiveness for breaking your trust....again.“

Thranduils unbelieving eyes just starred at his wife for a long moment. She could not be serious about her statement. But her eyes and tone as well as the emotions reaching him through their bond lead to the conclusion that the queen actually felt guilty for what had happened between them two nights before.   
It didn t make sense to the kings own guilty mind and therefor it took him so long to reply. 

He took a step closer, holding her eyes with his gaze while issuing his next words.

„You freed me, Ellaria. I was dead and gone from this life for 600 years. So caught up in my own misery, I couldn t even properly care for our child. It was your brave demand which opened up all gates inside me. You released the darkness from my heart and soul, unleashed it onto your own person and almost lost your life to it...I so much hope to proof worthy of your sacrifice...“ 

„...it was no sacrifice Thranduil. It was selfish for I would have died slowly from the absence of you in my fea. I can not live without your love. It is not to be romantic but a fact.“

„I can hardly believe your words, wife, if it wasn t for my fea telling me you really mean them. And although we can not share our passion in the way we used to, our future as a couple is bright and happy....“

„What do you mean, Thranduil? Do you desire me no more?“

„Desire you? Indeed I do, Ellaria. But Rithelwen told me it would be impossible for you to ever share your body with me again, after I abused you in such brutal way..“

„But it wasn t you, Thranduil. I mean it. My body was violated severely and I still suffer from it both physically and mentally. But it wasn t you abusing me ...Honestly Thranduil, would I believe as much, I could not even be in the same room with you.“

Hearing her husband gasp with emotions, Ellaria hurried to finish her statement.

„Whatever demon I freed during this night, you fought it as fiercely as I did and together we survived. Now we need to heal each other with our love, our believe and passion. Husband, I love you so very much. There are no harm feelings from my side towards your person. But the prospect of never being able to feel your touch again is not acceptable for me.“

The queen was at the end of her energy and Thranduil hurried to offer her the support of his strong arms as well as his love enwrapping her at the same time. Ellaria felt safe and happy again. So happy, she almost spilled some tears.

Both partners had been anxious with guilt before tonight s talk and couldn t get enough of the warm feeling of forgiveness now. 

They stayed in front of the fire for many hours, just enjoying each others company, sharing memories of their past and venturing further in discussing their shared future. 

The feeling of closeness, real closeness in mind and soul, with no restrain made Thranduil s head spin and his heart leap as he cradled his wife in his lap, entangling one hand in her heavy curls, while pressing a loving kiss on her forehead.

„Ellaria“ he whispered before falling asleep in his chair with all that mattered in his arms.


	17. One more wish

The queens steps were light and measured while slowly approaching her husband. Even lost in his thoughts the Elvenking must have recognized his wife s presence as she entered the room but for some mysterious reason he wasn t prepared to turn around and greet her.

Gently Ellaria let her arms wander around Thranduil s waist, pulling herself closer to the sanctuary her husbands warmth offered. Her head sank between his muscular shoulder blades to rest there for a moment of contentment while she carefully inhaled the king s scent.

A deep sight left his chest, many emotions vibrating within the sound. 

„My love, what burdens your mind?“ Ellaria s voice graced the kings sensitive elvenear. Her question a mere whisper but the movement of her lips and the warmth of her breath only seperated from his skin by a thin layer of fabric made Thranduil feel goosebumps all over his upper body.

The king felt his strength to restrain himself tested once more and his willingness to do so wearing thinner while the longing for his wife s intimate embrace grew steadily with each touch of her delicate hands on his needing flesh.

But he would not give into his carnal desire. At least not tonight. 

Since the fateful night almost 2 month ago, Thranduil had payed utmost attention to his wife s reaction to any form of physical contact from his person. Her mind and heart desired him but some memories of what had happened between them made the queen shy away from her husband s touch whenever his motives were driven by need and lust. Thranduil would not force her to overstep the line her instincts had drawn and were still keeping up.

He would be patient and wait for Ellaria s soul to recover before letting his passion rule over his senses. After all, the great Elvenking felt anxious about his own reaction to the first shared act with his wife after their last encounter.

But another wish had become very urgent with the king and now that his son had returned to the palace, Thranduil felt the need to verbalize his plans. Placing one large hand above Ellarias elegant fingers, he pressed them to his body for a second before turning around to face her finally. 

The piercing gaze of his ice blue lenses made the queen stop breathing for a second. Whatever kept her husbands mind busy was not an easy matter to be issued.

Sending him an encouraging smile the she saw the stern look soften and Thranduil finally found the courage to speak.

„I wish for us to be married again, Ellaria“

 

It took some time for Ellaria to let the request sink in but when the meaning of it became clear to the her, the queen s face broke into an expression of heavy emotions.

Her answer came pressed but her voice was steady „Yes my love. I also wish for such a happy event.“ Her fea conveying the gravity of her feelings to the king s proposal.

Strong arms now went around Ellaria s back to pull her tightly against a marble chest. Thranduil s heartbeat racing while he exhaled deeply into Ellaria s hair.

No words were exchanged for long moments. It was just them. A couple tried and tested by faith to the limits of what was bearable and beyond, lost in their own world of love, hurt and found-back trust. 

Emotions were passing between the partners, hopes, fears and love. So much love. It wasn t the innocent emotion of a relationship which had just began, full of excitement and filled with promises that still had to be fulfilled. Their bond was true and deep. It had proven its strength and duration even through death and betrayal. Indeed it had been created to last for an eternity. 

And the royal couple was willing to vow themselves to its mercy once more.

After what felt like an eternity, Thranduil loosened the tender embrace. One large hand closed around his rather sinister looking brooch and with another flicker his finger the jewelry lay in the king s palm.

Too excited to pay attention to delicate manners the king issues another request. „Cover it with your hand.“ 

Seeing her husbands lips been pressed into a thin line, the queen knew he was in distress and followed the demand immediately. And she only had to wait a second before the hard material started melting under her touch. 

„Do not fear. Inside you will only find what is already yours.“ Thranduil s voice was a whisper now as well. His emotions not permitting the king to explain more, two many feelings fighting over the reign of the his inner world when his wife s stare fell on her wedding ring.

 

The delicate band with two beautiful stones fixed on the end of each strand forming the sign of eternal love. The ring Thranduil had designed himself and presented his newly weeded wife with some 600 years ago.

The fact that the king had been wearing her ring close to his heart since decades, torturing his already broken heart with more emotions for the sake of still having her around him, made the queens tears run freely again.

„You kept this...you kept us so close to your heart all the time?...“ Ellarias voice broke but she had already said enough. Her lips searching for her husbands to find shelter from the storm of emotions twisting up her inside world once more.

And he offered his protection at once. Willingly and generously.

His full curves caressing her lips. The saltiness of her tears mingling with his exquisite taste in her mouth when the king s kiss grew more passionate.

And just as he wanted to draw back from her, giving her space to breath and himself time to regain control over his desires, the queen took over.

The way she claimed his mouth and body, possessively and passionate made the Thranduil s excitement grow into a hard and undeniable prove of his carnal needs.

„No, Eli. Please stop. Please...“ Thranduils strong fingers closed around his wifes wrists to keep her hands from roaming over his body any further. The king knew well, would he allow this treatment for another second he would be unable to stop himself from finally taking what his body was screaming for right now.

 

Shaking his head violently to clear his mind, he found Ellarias shocked look upon him. With a deep sigh he tried to explain „You are not ready yet, Eli.“ Grazing the delicate fingers, trapped between his iron grip with a loving kiss, Thranduil continued „Your mind might try to convince you otherwise but your body shows clear hints that you are not ready to share intimacy with me again...not yet.“

Feeling her muscles relax, the king knew he had won. In the flash of a second he pushed back his own disappointment and tilted up Ellaria s head with his index finger.

The look in her purple eyes made him draw in his breath sharply.

„But you are more than ready....and I will not let you suffer any longer, husband.“ 

The mouth claiming his this time was hot and demanding, small but determined fingers started exploring his body shamelessly. The second Ellaria s firm grip closed around him, the king lost all will to restrain himself and dove into the deep waters of need and passion.

 

He was unable to remember all his wife had been doing to him. How first her hands and then her mouth had given him pleasure, excitement and finally a desperatley needed release and satisfaction. All Thranduil could recall from this night was how loved and wanted he had felt in Ellarias arms and how she had freed him from heavy doubts and burden.

He woke in the middle of the night to find her head resting on his chest while her nose was almost buried in the crook of his neck. In her sleep his wife had been longing for her husband. It had been done unconsciously and therefore meant the world to the Elvenking. Finally Ellarias soul was starting to heal, just like his own.


	18. A different point of view

"What a strange place this is." Ellaria thought to herself. 

The queen had left the palace right after the private council s meeting today. The king had informed all members about the upcoming of the royal couples wedding and there had been many questions to be answered as to who would attend and when it actually should take place. The thought of marrying again made Ellaria s head and heart spin with many emotions and she had been eager to leave the meeting room for some fresh air and privacy to sort out her own feelings about this happy event.

After a long silent ride with Tauriel and her two guards the queen had felt a heaviness creep upon her when passing what seemed to be a rock hidden behind the trees. This part of the forest seemed to be soaked with powerful emotions, sadness, loss and an almost consuming longing was lingering between the green leaves. It had made Ellaria stop and dismount her horse to further explore the area which seemed to be calling out to her. 

A small movement of her hand signaled the guards to stay back and give their queen some privacy. She had been reluctant to accept the measures of security Tharnduil had more or less imposed on her but for his mental sanity she had finally come to terms with her shadows, following her whenever she left the palace.

The Elvenqueen took a few hesitant steps closer to what seemed the tallest tree or rather an enormous bush. The closer she got to it, the more urgent her step became. Her heartbeat picking up a faster pace while her guts turned cold with anticipation and then she recognized a face staring down on her. Sad but beautiful featured carved into an ageless stone, silently greeting the queen, but Ellaria s ears were ringing with the heavy emotions evaporating from the cold rock. What was this place?

 

So caught in her thoughts the queen let out a small cry of surprise when a large warm hand fell on her shoulder.

„My love...“ „Thranduil...“ the queen was speechless for a second. She hadnt felt him approach and it didn t make sense anyway. The king was supposed to attend some urgent meeting dealing with the news preading from Mordor.

Something about her husband s touch didn t feel right either. Turning around slowly to face him, Ellaria hope to find some answers in his eyes.

His beautiful ice-blue lenses. They could never hide their secrets from Ellaria s gaze. Even when they were fixed on her with a cool and measured look, the queen could see right through them. They were the gates to his soul and heart and both belonged to her by marriage and love. But what she found now made Ellarias heart hammer in her chest...absolutely nothing.

„Tauriel“ the queen called out. Fear and confusion taking over her usually peaceful mind. The elleth was by her side the next second as if she had evaporated out of the air.

„Ellaria, is anything wrong?“

Tauriel was starting to feel uncomfortable herself when ice-cold fingers closer around her arm. „It is this place. I think it is playing tricks on my mind. What is hidden behind the bushes, do you know?“ „I do know my queen, but I rather have the king tell to you about it. With your permission I would like to take you back to the palace now. You seem out of spirit after your discovery.“

Purple eyes were fixed intensely on Tauriel and the captain of the guard could see the queen considering her options before gracefully bending her head to give her consent.  
„Yes, my friend. Please take me home. I think I had enough adventure for one day.“ Ellaria tried a smile which didn t reach her eyes. Gently pressing her hand for reassurance, Tauriel guided her queen back to the majestic white horse of hers. A present from the king of course.

On their way back Ellaria asked for Tauriel s company again. Feeling the heaviness lifting from her fea, the queen wanted to give her friend time to express her mind. She was sure, the captain had some pressing issues of her own she intended to discuss with a friend and Ellaria didn t have to wait for long to find out more.

 

„My Lady...Ellaria, I ...may I ask you. „ Tauriel considered her question for some time before shaking her head almost violently. „Never mind. I was just blabbering.“ But the queen held her back.

„What is it that keeps torturing your mind and soul since almost a week now, Tauriel?“  
„Damn it, she is far too attentive.“ Tauriel thought to herself before answering „It is an important question about the future. A decision I have to make soon which will affect so many others...but to get to my answer I must intrude on your privacy....“ she explained with a worried look on her face.

„Guards, please give us some privacy. I need to speak with your captain for some time.“ And with this the queen dismounted her fine horse to walk beside her friend.

„Well then, I m listening.“ She encouraged her friend with a knowing smile. 

„I have to...I mean the prince was so generous...“ a heavy sigh stopped her sentence and a deliacte hand fell on Tauriel s arm. „Do not be afraid to ask my anything you need to know, Tauriel.“

„The prince asked me to marry him last week...“ The queen s smile grew so radiant, it made Tauriel stop in her sentence again. At least one parent approved of Legola s choice.

„The king was already so kind as to ...well..to give me his permission to accept such an offer, but...“ „What is it?“ „I won t be queen. I mean Ellaria, hopefully you and the king will live and rule for all times from now on but what if not. I can not be queen, and I don t want to. With all my heart I know I would never be happy again carrying such a burden. And to be honest I think it goes the same way for Legolas....“ 

Tauriel waited a long time for her friend to answer this statement but finally she did.“You are right Tauriel, Legolas is an exceptionally kind and skilled person. He very much cares for the well-being of others and is a soft and gentle being. Thinking about it now, I guess I knew from the day I met my grown-up son he wouldn t be king. Maybe with the right partner he could learn to accept it but what .....what is your question now for me?“

„Would you consider having another child, my lady?“ Seeing Ellaria s jaw drop Tauriel was quick to apologize but the queen stopped her at once.

„No Tauriel, there is no need to apologize. Your question makes sense of course, it is just that I haven t come to think about it yet. The king and I have not discussed this possibility...Tauriel, is this the only issue which makes you feel unsure about a shared future with my son?“

„Yes, Ellaria. For I truly love him. I did already since a long time... I just can not be queen....“ 

„I understand, Tauriel. Though I can not promise you an answer within days but I will certainly be able to tell you more after I spoke with the king. Will that suffices for the moment?“

„Of course it does, my queen. And more than this. Thank you so much for the honest conversation and ...“

„Tauriel, I would be so happy for Legolas if you were to be his mate. The news of his proposal fills my heart with much happiness. I will speak with the king tonight, you have my word.“

 

It was already evening when finally the queen and her entourage reached the gates of the Elvenking s palace again. The queen felt tired and weary and made for the royal chambers directly after dismounting her horse.

So many thoughts, hopes, questions and fears were mingling in Ellaria s mind by the time she reached the oaken door to her chambers. But a second after entering the huge room, her heart felt light again. He was there already. His present filling the room entirely, the scent, the feeling of being home made Ellaria pause for a second to fully appreciate this moment of perfect happiness.

„Thranduil“ she called out softly, her need for his actual company growing. And then she saw him, tall and majestic the king stood next to the fireplace, his beautiful features breaking into a tender smile when his eyes fell on his wife.

An almost painful twist in her guts made Ellaria rush towards him and all anxiety left her mind when her husbands arms slowly drew her in. Thranduil must have felt her distress, gently stroking her hair back with his slender fingers before placing a slow kiss onto her forehead.

And Ellaria sighed deeply. „My love, what troubles you so much?“ He whispered into her hair, giving her time to collect her thoughts before facing him finally.

The queen tried to honor her husbands loving treatment with a smile but it only made her distress more visible. 

 

Thranduils brows furrowed and he hurried to guide his wife to a comfortable chair next to the fire. „Come, sit with me for a moment. You must be weary and hungry.“ „I m sorry my love, I know you already had much to deal with today and as I can see some dreadful news from the dark realm of Mordor. Please tell me about the sorrows of your day first.“

They talked for a long time. It was sinister talk about threats and darkness, possible war and fears. Ellaria was able to push her own gloomy thought away for some time to share her husbands fears but finally he turned his full attention back to his wife and the queen started her report.

 

Seeing Thranduil s face pale to her words, the found back confidence left her again and Ellaria s voice trembled when she explained „ There was so much pain and despair lingering in this area. It felt heavy and sad to be there, like a memory of something lost, something essential, a pain you can not deny...and you were there, Thranduil.“ 

The king gasped to this sentence, his eyes intensely fixed on Ellaria. He was more shaken by his wife s statement then by all news coming from Mordor.

„You called out to me and I felt your hand touching my shoulder but when I turned around there was nothing. I m very confused about what happened exactly or what it might mean for our future...and it scares me.“

Ellaria reached out her hand to establish some physical contact between them and only then the the king did find his speech.

„It was me Ellaria.“ Swallowing hard and intensifying his stare Thranduil found the strength to reveal the full truth to his wife.

 

„The hidden figure in the forest is you. I had it built a few years after you ...were taken from me. But my intention to bury my desperation deep under the soil of my realm failed. My memories and emotions are haunting this place ever since.“

 

There was dead silence after the kings statement but the emotions running through the couples marriage bond were louder and faster than lighting.

„Oh Thranduil...“ Ellaria finally whispered. Tears streaming down her lovely cheeks „how much you suffered because of me!“

„No Eli, don t cry, my love.“ And with this he pulled her to him. Holding her close, his arms offering an area of love and peace to Ellaria while the king placed tender kisses in her hair.

The queen also felt Thranduil s need to calm his emotions. Slowly rocking them both, he took his time to comfort his wife while finding release in the feeling of her warm body pressed to his chest. The nightmare was over, she was alive and in his arms.

 

After some time he felt her relaxing against his body. All gloomy thoughts had been taken from her by her husbands presence. Holding her away from him to look at her, Thranduil expressed the most comforting statement.

„All the pain and despair, it doesn t matter anymore. Eli, you are back. Can you even imagine what your presence here in my room, my arms, means to me? How just the sight of you heals my heart and soul? I lost so much when losing you and it is still too overwhelming to be presented with what I was longing and yearning for since decades. I feel whole and happy again. And loved, I feel so loved by you, my beautiful wife. It fills me with the deepest gratefulness you can imagine. Ellaria, what you did for me, that you bore with me, freed me from darkness and still feel for me, is the greatest blessing of my life. Let us not dwell in past agony. It is over now, so no more tears my love, no more tears!“

 

Thranduil saw his words sink in and a beautiful smile lightening Ellarias features, chasing away the last remnants of her former misery. Bringing her chin furher up to level their faces, Ellaria started to lean into him and a second later her soft lips placed a gentle kiss on Thranduil s curves.

The kiss became so tender and loving neither one wanted to break away from it for a long time and when they finally did both partners felt light at heart.

Later that night when lying in Thranduils arms, his breath warm on the small part of naked skin her nightgown left uncovered, Ellaria felt the delicious sting of desire twist her guts. 

This was not a want for comfort and love but for her husbands physical presence. The queen was sure Thranduil had felt it too for he tightened his grip on Ellaria s shoulder for a second and she could feel him smile into the darkness of their bedchamber.


	19. Challenges

The next day brought some challenges, Ellaria had long neglected due to the fact she hadn t been ready to face the outcome. 

Thranduils words had changed something between them last night. The hope he had given her by his statement and the love and tenderness vibrating from it, made it possible for Ellaria to embrace the world without fear again. Leaving all hurts behind her and finally, finally feel the long abandoned passion growing again between the couple.

Ellaria had decided to start with one of the most dreaded issues and had visited Rithelwen in her hut. After a careful examination the healer faced her queen with a mixture of anxiety and curiosity.

Seeing Ellaria holding her breath, Rithelwen decided to make short process of the event.

„Yes, little one“ In all Arda only Rithelwen would take the liberty to call the queen like this and Ellaria loved her for it. They knew each other since decades, gone through every possible scenario as friends and fellow healers and Ellaria knew the feelings Rithelwen held for her were much beyond a normal friendship. It would have sounded ridiculous to both of them had she called her „my lady or queen“.

However the queen had to bend her head for a second, exhaling her fear to finally hear the answer to this essential question. „Yes“ It was all she had been hoping for, maybe also dreading this answer but now a warm ray of delight and happiness spread through her body. She would be able to give her husband more children should they both ever wish for it.

„Thank you Rithelwen.This is wonderful news indeed...“  
„Is it indeed Ellaria? Do you truly think you might ever wish for the required actions to put this information to good use?“

Ellarias jaw almost dropped to this staement. It weren t so much Rithelwens words but more her tone. It sounded almost threatening to the queen.  
„I appreciate your concerns, my friend. And yes, I think I will very much like to perform the required actions. At least I feel the need for it growing again.“

„My dear, do not misunderstand my intenstion in questioning you like this. I m just worried about you and your motives. After what you have been through...I mean, you must not rush yourself into something your body might not be ready for.“ Rithelwen s voice was soft now and her warm hands descended gently on the queens burning cheeks before she continued „The only reason you should ever be back in Thranduils arms is your own want and need. In your own good time. Nothing else.“

„Thank you Rithelwen, truly. You are right, I might still not be ready... But in time I guess my need for his touch will outgrow my fears. Ellaria stopped for a moment digesting her own words and their meaning before adding another very private though she hadn t issued aloud so far „...and I so much want to hold another baby. I feel betrayed by the fact I missed all this with Legolas. My arms feel so empty without my child. I now it sounds weird....but“

„There is no need to further explain yourself, Ellaria. I see you gave the matter some good thoughts. Now off you go, my young one and mind your royal duties instead of steeling my time.“ A mischievios smile had spread over the slightly sinister features of Ellaria s oldest friend as she gently pushed her towards the door.

Ellaria quickly pressed a kiss on her friends cheeks, her eyes expressing the gratitude she really felt for Rithelwens sorrows and counsel. „My regards to the king“ the healer called after her queen before shutitng the door slowly behind her.

 

The first step was taken, the queen thought to herself. Now it was time for some private talk with her husband, Ellaria decided when almost running into someone who had obviously been waiting for her.

„Legolas, what joy it is to behold your lovely face, my son. What brings you here, do tell me.“ The addressed ellon swallowed quickly, the emotions floating him whenever his eyes fell on this present from the Valar still left him lost for words. His naneth.

He had longed for her all his life, imagined how it would feel to have someone loving him unconditionally. What Ellaria meant to him now in realty, the prince hadn t been able to imagine even in his most beautiful dreams. She was perfect, kind, gentle, warm, loving and beautiful. And she was obviously very fond and proud of her son. The mixture of all these feelings made Legolas life feel like Valinor already.

„Nana, I could have met you by accident. Why do you think I ran into you on purpose?“ Legolas half smiled.  
The queen approached him slowly, taking his large warm hand in hers. So similar to his fathers, she thought. But his looks were about the only thing the prince inherited from his father. For sure his sensitive character had been handed down by is mother. He cared a lot about everything and everyone around him.  
Cared too much to be a good ruler. 

Her talk with Tauriel had help the Elvenqueen to verbalize in her own mind for the first time, what she had suspected from the first time she met Legolas in the royal tent. Would he be allowed to make his own choice, becoming a king would be his last wish ever.

A knowing smile played along Ellarias soft lips when she glanced up to meet her son s eyes.  
„You are my son, Legolas. I understand you without words, for our characters are almost the same. A fact I m very proud of.“

Speechless again, Legolas thought to himself he needed to get used to her demonstration of motherly love and pride over his person. Otherwise he would be staring at his mother for decades.

„Very well mother, may I walk you back to the palace and have a word with you. This is if your guards will give us room for privacy“ he added with a displeased look on his angelic face.

 

In the end it took the prince almost an hour to guide his mother back to the palace. It was so easy to open up to her. Nothing would shock her or provoke even the slightest hint of disapproval. She was exactly what Legolas had needed since his childhood. Someone just to listen and to let him take his own decisions. 

„How different would I have turned out, had I been spoiled with such support all my life“ he thought for the fragment of a second.

„My dear, don t indulge in such sad thinking“ came Ellarias reproach at once. „Your father loves you much. He was just unable to express his emotions towards you because his inside was darkened and shattered by evil forces and an overruling pain.“

„Indeed nana, you are right. Let us not talk about this matter now. He has changed so much since your return and now that you will be married again I think we will finally get a chance to appreciate one another. With your help, nana the second biggest shadow of my life will be lifted as well. I know I m asking a lot, not assuming my responsibility and trying to avoid the position faith had dealt to me as your first borne child....“

A thought shot through Ellaria s mind and the next second she stopped Legola s statement by placing her hand over his lips. „Legolas, I will lift this feeling of guilt from you once and for ever. Please follow me...“

The prince had no other choice but to almost run after his naneth who picked up a fast pace, now that her mind was busy with the wish to free her sons conscience.  
She knew exactly were to find what she was looking for and for sure it would still be there, well kept and honored by the only other person to whom this place had meant the world.

„Nana, where are we? What does this all have to do with my decision and future?“

The queens eyes were fixed on the beautiful flowers covering the ground. 

„You are not our firs born child, Legolas.“ 

Hearing him gasp with shock, Ellaria hurried to continue. 

„Your sister was buried here. It was her who was intended to become queen one day...but I had to give her up in order to save your ada. It was all so...well. It is long ago but I will tell you the story nevertheless once we are back in the palace. But for now you need to know that what you feel, this rejection to the throne, is all natural. Do not feel unworthy just because you follow your instinct and wishes, Legolas. It is your right and duty to follow your own path in life!“

 

„Ellaria?“ Thranduil s deep silken voice grazed her ear while his warm breath gave er goosebumps on her fore arms. How she loved the sound of her name coming from his lips. His lips, she thought, they were like silk as well, sometimes as soft and caressing but other time hot and demanding. 

All of a sudden the queen was well aware of the toned body next too her on the couch, his scent drawing her closer to him, and closer. She wanted to touch him, feel him and his desire for her. Touching, tasting, appreciating her husband with every sense available to her...this was the queen s most urgent intention when opening her eyes after a short nap.

The conversation with Legolas this morning had been fruitful and necessary, but exhausting to Ellaria s mind and soul. But now she felt awake, more awake then she had in a long time. It was excitement mixing with want and love.

„Thranduil“ The way she sighed his name made the kings guts turn with such heavy emotions, he wanted to retreat from her at once.  
Knowing too well, his will to restrain from the temptation Ellarias presence placed before him would not hold much longer.

 

But her hands were faster, catching his face between them, gently pulling him closer and her lips found his.  
The sensation was soft but the emotions thundering through their bond now were heavy.  
It was lust, pure lust and need. Much more than the carnal desire one would feel for a lover. It was an all consuming, unstoppable need to be with each other. 

Pulling away slightly, the king exhaled deeply. „Eli, wait please. Don t push me too far. I will lose control. Please my love, do not temped me like this. I won t restrain, I can t...I“

Ellaria let go of her husband at once, feeling his desperation, the situation becoming to much for him to handle. Giving him some space to breath and pull himself together, the queen slid from the couch.

Angry with himself, Thranduil shook his head as if this movement could stop his hammering heart from yearning for more. He needed much more and now but his sorrow for his wife s well being conquered his desire once again.

 

„I m sorry Thranduil...“ Ellarias voice was low but clear and when the kings head went up to face her, his heart finally exploded and his vision went blank for a second.

„I m sorry, but I can not stop now. I need to feel you, husband.“ The words were penetrating Thranduil s mid but at the same time his very being was occupied by what stood before him.  
The almost naked forms of the most beautiful creature in all Arda. 

Ellaria had decided to let passion rule over fear. 

Her half opened dress inviting her husband s hungry eyes to feats on her firm breasts and milky skin. It made his breath come short and his ears ring with too much blood shooting through his veins while his heartbeat was racing in his chest.

Ever so slowly he let his hands sink on the petal soft skin of his wife s delicious body, drawing in his breath sharply when their skins made contact. His voice came pressed but his consent was clear „Yes“ was all the Elvenking was able to verbalize before losing himself to his long caged lust for his wife.

In contrary to their fierce need to feel each other, their actual lovemaking was slow and gentle. 

Both of them holding their breath when Ellaria finally straddled her husband, his manhood pushing into her carefully.  
But the second Thranduil pushed himself fully into her with a slow thrust, Ellaria moaned with relief and lust. The feeling of her husband moving inside her again was overwhelming. He felt so mindtakingly good. 

Ellaria let her head sink onto his chest for a moment taking in the full impact of his intrusion. Oh, how she wanted him. More of him and deeper, much deeper and faster but the king would not be rushed. 

He was to stunned by the feelings and emotion reining his inside world right now to concentrate on anything else but the pleasure he felt. Both physically and mentally.

Trailing tender kisses down her neck, pushing back the fabric covering her shoulder a little to graze her bare skin there with gentle expressions of his love, Thranduil made sure, Ellaria got as much pleasure from this encounter as he did.

She was soft and so welcoming. Her warmth enveloping him, squeezing him deliciously tight and making him moan her name over and over again.

The royal couple took their time to find back the long missed intimacy, pleasuring each other over and over again, slowly, gently. 

The whispered words between them full of love and happiness about their shared act of desire. Thranduils world was whole again when suddenly his wife s body started shaking with emotions, squeezing him even tighter to the rhythm of her overwhelming peak. 

It had been one thing to share her body with him again. But the level of trust that was needed to find release like this in each others arms was something else and the king was close to tears when his own peak broke, leaving him senseless and utterly happy in his wifes arms.


	20. Talks

The queen felt strong arms lifting her, pulling her to a broad chest before carrying her over to the huge bed.

Even with closed eyes she could tell exactly the look on her husband s face. She felt him smile in his fea, felt the immense relief and gratefulness filling his inside world.   
Slowly he placed her on the bed, making the mattress sink in under his weight as he lay down beside her.

It was the last bit of reality, Ellaria noticed before she drifted off into utter bliss. 

Thranduils hands and mouth started to caress her in a way which made it impossible for her to concentrate on anything else but him.   
His presence in her mind glowing with emotions.

Heavy but wonderful emotions. The Elvenking seemed to be lightened up by his own feelings. Love rushing through him like a wild river, washing away the last remnants of his gloomy past. And for the first time since Ellaria had returned to him, Thranduil did not hinder the constant flow taking over his mind, before supplying his entire body with a glistering energy. 

Finally he felt worthy of his wife s love and that changed everything.

 

The royal couple s mental intercourse was as intense and consuming as had been their carnal a few minutes ago. Thranduil s mouth graced the queens face with butterfly kisses, trailing prooves of his fondness down her neck before working in uni-sono with his skilled hands to make Ellaria feel how deep his emotions for her ran.

All of this was done without even a hint of sexual intention. The king simply needed to feel his queen anew, acquaint himself with every last part of her body and soul, now that his world had changed once more.

Although the sensation of her petal-soft skin under his warm palms made his guts tickle with excitement, her slightly swollen lips kissing him into oblivion slowly, Thranduil felt calm and content. His usually so stormy inside, being at ease with the world around him. Everything was in order, he was loved and could love back.

Never had the Elvenking imagined to feel even a fragment of this complete peace and contentment in his fea again. But then he had also not imagined to ever be holding Ellaria in his arms once more. The world was perfect and he could face it without fear as long as she was by his side.

 

After what seemed like hours, Thranduil propped himself on one elbow looking down on the elleth next to him with such tenderness, it made Ellaria melt under his gaze.

A small sigh of happiness escaped the queens throat, when her husbands slender fingers started fondling with a stray lock of hers.   
Oh how much he loved her. Her heart might explode if Thranduil added just one more drop of this desirable feeling.

 

There were many issues left for the couple to discuss but the day was still young and the king had further obligations waiting for him. Ellaria decided not to spoil the moment and rather indulging further in it.

Her elegant hand reaching out to him, gently guiding his face closer to her own. Just one more kiss was all Ellaria had been wanting. But the sensation of his soft curves covering her mouth made Ellarias head spin with too many emotions to let go of this wonderful feeling. 

They kissed for a long time. In the end Thranduil didn t make it to his afternoon meeting.   
The unwillingness of each partner to let go of this very intimate situation whenever they broke their kiss to breath, made it impossible.

All the royal couple had wished and fought for was there now. Under the sheets of their bed, Thranduil and Ellaria found salvation and un-restraint love after so many month of heartbreaking suffering. 

 

Later that evening Ellaria found herself lost in the palace corridors. She had been on her way back from a visit to the healing wing when her mind drifted off to her husband.  
Something was different about him, she thought.

It had started during their lovemaking. A sparkle of light spreading through Thranduil s fea, making him somehow stronger and peaceful.   
It was hard for the queen to explain the change, even in her own mind, but something had started and Ellaria was eager to find out, where it would lead to.

Shaking her head and chuckling to herself about her state of mind, she turned in the opposite direction to make for the royal chambers. 

The hour was already much later than she had intended for her return and her heart started picking up pace while her mind spun around what might be waiting for her behind the great oaken door.

A wonderful feeling hit Ellaria when she reached for the handle to open it.   
It felt like home. A happy home and a bright future waiting for her with the one she loved. A huge smile spread over Ellaria s face and it widened even when she found the two ellons she loved above all, seated together comfortably in front of the fireplace.

„Good evening, my son and husband. It fills me with great happiness to find you both here.“

Thranduil and Legolas gaze were fixed on the beauty approaching them. The king had been longing for the sight of his wife since she had left him a few hours ago and Legolas felt the well-known feeling of unbelieving gratefulness creep upon him at the sight of his mother.

 

However heavy their conversation over the past hour might have been, it had not estrange them form each other and neither had Legolas honest statement invoked Thranduil s wrath. 

The prince had been very nervous to talk about his doubts and fears to be the crown-prince. And Legolas knew, had it not been for his mother s words about finding his own way in life, he had never found the courage to face the king for such discussions.

But Thranduil had been kind and attentive. Listening to his sons concerns without interrupting him, even when Legolas had mentioned his wish never to become king. 

Thranduil had suspected as much since a long time already. In his heart, the king had felt his son s conflict but never had seen fit to address the problem since there had been no other option anyway.

 

Now it was different. His wife was back and maybe with time, Ellaria would be open to discuss the possibility to conceive another child.  
The king wasn t too sure how soon such conversation should be held but still, the opportunity was there. 

Also Thranduil s feelings for his only child were still overwhelmingly strong and now that he allowed his emotions to run freely, the Elvenking would by no means see his son suffer.

The king had just been about to give his answer when Ellaria entered the scene. 

By now, the queen had felt the slight tension floating through the air and her lovely face showed some signs of concern while approaching the fireplace. 

Usually she would have seated herself in Thranduil s lap without hesitation but the seriousness on the two ellons faces made Ellaria pull a chair for herself to sit next to her husband.

„It seems like I just interrupted a conversation. Forgive me, should I rather return a bit later?“

„Of course not, nana.“ It was Legolas who spoke first. He obviously felt at ease in his parents presence. He too had changed a lot since Ellaria s return. The slight fear which would alway put some distance between him and his ada was gone. 

Legolas finally felt his father s love for him. Acknowledging this fact after so many decades of emotional separation had been a huge step for him. But it felt so much better now that he could love his ada for all he was.

 

„My love,“ the king answered „our son and I just had a serious talk about the future. A future we will have to discuss as well later.“ With this Thranduil took Ellaria s hand, his eyes so soft on her while he graced her hand with a gentle kiss.

„Yes nana, I informed the king...I mean I spoke to ada about my wish not to become king.“

 

There was silence in the room for some moments while the royal family just looked at each other. But finally Thranduil gave his answer.

„My son, if this is truly your wish, I will not force you to be king should I sail to the undying lands...but...“ Intensifying his stare on Ellaria, the king took a moment to phrase his next sentence. „We, as a family, need to find an alternative.“

This sentence brought tears to the queens eyes. She had been holding her breath, just like Legolas but and this very emotional statement had touched her deeply.

The prince s hand fell on Thranduil s arm and Ellaria saw her son s eyes full of tears as well when he repeated „..as a family.“ 

The king simply smiled to his beloved ones trying to take control of their emotions. His demeanor hadn t changed after his statement. He was content and at ease.   
„So much stronger, than before“ Ellaria thought once again to herself.

The royal family continued to chat about their plans, whises and hopes for the future. The upcoming royal wedding was discussed as well as Legolas plans to marry Tauriel. It was well into the night when the queen s head slowly sank on her husband s arm and the prince excused himself to find some rest in his chambers.

 

Ellaria was the first to slip under the sheets but her husband followed not long after, snuggling up to his wife to continue his gentle attention towards her. 

The queen could not resist the urge to speak her mind now as well.

„You have changed Thranduil. I think you are still changing with every second. I can hardly explain what it is but for sure there is something different about you.“

Thranduil s gaze was on her, his expression almost amused. „How do I feel different to you, my love?“ his voice like silk and full of emotions.

Ellaria didn t have to think twice. „You feel stronger. And balanced. Your mind and fea seem to be at ease. When our feas intertwined earlier, it looked to me as if you were glowing with an inner strength I hadn t realized in you before...“

 

A gentle hand cupped Ellaria s cheek to slightly turn her head. Thranduils eyes were still fixed on her, his expression serious now.

„I AM stronger, Ellaria. Because of you! Can you even imagine what your forgiveness meant to me? How it freed me from the heaviest weight I ever loaded upon my heart by hurting you...“ The queen drew in her breath for an answer but her husband was quicker.

„Please hear me out, Eli. I feel my strength growing as well...and the dwell is your love for me. Finally, after so many struggles and hurts on both sides, I feel worthy of you, my lovely wife. This emotion is so overwhelmingly satisfying, it makes everything else seem unimportant. After decades of self-denial and loneliness I am alive again. Nothing matters but you, Ellaria.“

The king s voice had been shaking slightly with emotions, but the vivid flow through their bond only supplied the Elvenqueen with hope and love. So much love, it made her almost cry.

Her husbands arms went around her at once, pulling her to him so gently but with the unmistakable massage of claiming her entirely. In body, mind and soul. 

 

This was exactly, what Ellaria had been longing for since opening her eyes on the frozen lake and it would be her renewed vow to him, the mighty Elvenking, her husband and lover for all eternity.


	21. A bright future

Some time later Ellaria s hand started caressing Thranduil s face, moving further to toy with a stray strand of his silver-blonde hair. One thought turned around in her head, over and over again and she knew she wouldn t find sleep until this issue was solved between them.

Of course he perceived her inner struggle, his eyes finding hers slowly. „Will you share your thoughts with me, my love? They seem to keep your mind busy...“

This time the queen propped herself up on one elbow to properly face her husband.

„It is about what you said tonight. We need to find an alternative...“ Ellarias cheeks colored slightly before she continue. „I wanted to talk to you about one option as well tonight.“ 

The king s gaze was upon her and the queen thought she could see him fighting his anxiety about her next sentence.

 

„Would you consider, I mean not now, but in time...maybe a long time. Thranduil, would you consider another child?“

Indeed Thranduil had been excited about this exact conversation, but he had imagined himself to be the one proposing the option with a racing heart.   
The fact that Ellaria had spoken her mind about this issue so soon and obviously out of her own interest made Thranduil s heart feel light and a long forgotten warmth spreading through his inside world.

The next moment his face was on level with hers, piercing her with his icy blue lenses, the king gave his answer: „Are you honestly questioning my willingness, to plant my spark of life in here?“ his hands trailing slightly over her abdomen, before his head followed their movement. 

The queen felt his warm breath tickling her skin underneath the thin fabric of her nightgown. It gave her goosebumps all over her body. But Thranduil wasn t finished yet.

Tantalisingly slow, his lips were pressed ever so gently on her belly, kissing her softly until he heard her sigh. Only then did he pull away to finish his answer: „Yes, Ellaria.“ Another kiss with more pressure send electric shocks through the queen s body.

„I so much want to put another baby inside your belly, watching it round this devine body of yours. Feeling your pride and happiness grow with every day my elfling gets bigger....“ His lips alternated with his hands in drowning his wife once again in the deep sea of sensual bliss. 

Ellaria felt loved, cherished and even worshiped by her husband s treatment, her hunger for more growing with every second the Elvenking s tenderness continued until suddenly his hands rested on her hips, slightly pressing her to him.

The queen forced her heavy eyelids to open so she could see what had stopped the heavenly treatment and she found Thranduil staring right into her soul. His looks serious and concerned while his slightly parted lips tempted Ellaria to seal them with a kiss.

„Is this truly what you wish for after..after all that happened between us?“  
„Yes, Thranduil. And with all my heart“ she whispered before finally giving into her most pressing desire to share his lips for a long and passionate kiss.

In the end, Ellaria fell asleep in her husbands arms, her nose as close to the crook of his neck as she could reach. The king however was unable to calm his racing thoughts for a long time after the conversation. Too many ideas and plans on his mind, making his heart pound with happiness and excitement.

A family. It woud be his greatest personal achievement to foster and keep save the purpose of his life. Thranduil enjoyed craddeling the most important component to his chest. His wife and queen lay peaceful and content next to him and this fact meant the world to the Elvenking.

 

Morning found the king in high spirits. He hadn t felt as energetic in decades. Everything seemed to flourish under his hands now. The future looked bright to the monarch and turning his head slightly to the side he found the reason for all this.

Still sound asleep, the queen sighed gently when her husbands lips grazed her forehead for a sign of his deepest devotion and love towards her.

He would let her rest to her needs, Thranduil thought looking down on Ellaria s delicate frame between the sheets. She was still a bit fragile and hadn t fully recovered from the latest events yet. The king would grant her as much rest and tranquility as possible to find back her former strength, especially in the light of their upcoming wedding.

He left silently to rule over his realm but his heart and soul stayed with the queen, it always did. 

 

Ellaria woke to the sound of the door being opened not too gently an hour later. It was the captain of the guard, storming into the royal chambers, an utterly worried expression on her lovely face.

„Tauriel? What is the matter? Did something happen?“ The queen required at once,still drowsy from her sleep.

„My lady...“ Tauriels face changed dramatically once her gaze fell on Ellaria.  
„Forgive me. I was worried...“  
„Worried for me?“  
„Yes! I saw the king in his throne room but you were nowhere to be seen and all of a sudden I started worrying about you and what might have happened.“

„Why, Tauriel? What could happen to me?“ Ellaria was petting the space next to her on the bed. „Please sit with me for a minute my friend. I just woke and am still half taken by sleep. It is hard for me to focus on the meaning of your words.“

„I m sorry, Ellaria. It was just that after last nights conversation I feared the king s temper might have risen...“

„Oh...“ Ellaria s eyes widened slightly while the meaning of Tauriels words sank in. Placing a gently hand above the captain s, the queen took some time to prepare her answer.

 

„Tauriel, last night s conversation went really well in regard to your own wishes and hopes. Legolas won t have to take the crown if he does not desire it. And you won t have to be queen. Now there are no obstacles to your personal happiness. If you still wish for it, you may safely marry my son for who he really is and not fear an unwanted title might come between you.“

Tauriels eyes were large by now, digesting her friend s statement, the young elleth had a hard time to keep back her tears of happiness and the queen saw it.

She encircled Tauriel with her slender arms, gently pulling her into a much needed embrace.   
„I would be honored to soon call you my daughter, Tauriel.“   
This sentence was the last stroke to Tauriel s emotional collapse. She held onto Ellarias small shoulders for a long time, crying her heart out before finding her voice again.

 

„This is too much for me, Ellaria. That such bright future, love and happiness should come my way, after my life had turned so sad and dark. There are no words to express my gratitude towards you and the Valars for sending you back into our lives.“

Now it was the queen s time to spill some tears and the two friends started laughing about their state of mind.   
But before long, Tauriels face grew serious again and she posed the last question which she needed an answer to before accepting Legolas proposal.

„Forgive me for asking, but does that mean you are planing on...?“ Tauriel felt heat rushing through her, making her blush with embarrassment about posing such an intimate question. But her face was nothing compared to the glowing cheeks in front of her. 

„Yes, Tauriel. The king has agreed to conceive another child...in time.“   
Memories of Thranduils actions accompanying this statement, his hands and lips on her body, made Ellaria blush even more. Looking up into Tauriels eyes, the queen started to giggle.   
„Look at us, Tauriel. Blushing like two inexperienced maiden talking about making love for the first time... „

The captain joint in the laughter, feeling her heart lightening to the sound and the feeling of carefree contentment now that the future looked bright for her as well.

 

The king looked magnificent and unearthly so. He always did but today the changes, Ellaria had noticed on his inside were somehow visible in his outre appearance.

Thranduil, the great Elvenking grew stronger and more impressive by the day. His fea blooming to its old glory under the steady lovingly treatment of his wife. 

Of course she loved him, had always done so and would always do.   
There was no way she could stop her heart from pounding faster whenever her eyes fell on him. And there was another feeling mingling with the usual proud astonishment of belonging to someone so unique as her husband. It was a slight confusion about Thranduil s state of mind.

His wishes and wants when it came to his lovely queen. He loved her for sure, but what about his other feelings?   
The want, lust and desire he would usually display towards her whenever they were in private? 

Last night had been very intimate on a psychological level and Ellaria had perceived his need for her as his wife, but he hadn t shown any signs of carnal desire. And this fact irritated the queen. Even more so, since her own desire for her husband grew with every second he would not express the wish to share her body.

Maybe the king was still too concerned about Ellaria s physical strength? But why? She had made it clear she welcomed and even desired this kind of matrimonial attention. 

The queens thoughts came to an end, when the object in question made his way over to her after finishing a discussion with his war minister.   
Another irritating fact Ellaria had just found out about. Halador, her good friend and personal guard had deserted his army and monarch after the death of his queen.   
This story was a source of grievance to the king, so she avoided any conversation about the business. But still her heart felt heavy every time her eyes rested on this new ellon filling the place which should be occupied by her loyal friend.

Gracefully approaching his wife, the king reached out for her hand. Capturing it gently between his elegant fingers, he slowly moved it up until his warm, soft lips pressed a small kiss on Ellarias heated flesh. She had held her breath and saw her husband s face break into an amused smile when he scanned her features for a reaction. His was a perfect mask of contentment and devotion but Ellaria suspected something else behind his angelic expression.

He knew what he was doing to her. Not in a mean or teasing way but maybe just to wake her hunger for him even more.   
Also the queen could not explain her own change of mind. She had been content to share his bed but not his body over the last months, so what was different all of a sudden? 

Maybe her talks with Tauriel and then Rithelwen had brought up a long forgotten desire for a child. Together with their shared intimacy yesterday and the clear signs of her husband s returned greatness in mind and soul made him irresistible for Ellaria.

And now Thranduil was just too tempting. Everything about her husband seemed to be calling out to her.   
His scent, his beautiful features and majestic forms as well as the deep and meaningful looks he send her every now and then, taking her hand in his, rubbing his thump gently over her soft skin.

 

By the time, dinner was over, Ellaria was all worked up with too many emotions floating her fea without the possibility to gain back control. She felt the need for him, his love and physical presence stronger than ever before and her steps grew faster as the royal couple made for their chambers.

Of course Thranduil had notices her distress, whether or not he had locate the source of it, Ellaria couldn t tell. To calm herself, the queen started fumbling with her jewellery in front of an impressive side-board made out of birch tree, which was very rare in this part of the forest. She had always adored the fine furniture. Letting her hands wander gently over the cool material, the queen s heartbeat slowed to the familiar sensation.

Taking in a deep breath, Ellaria felt at ease again...that was until large warm hands descended on her shoulders. Her breath caught from surprise and the anew desire the moment Thranduil touched her.

„What troubles you so much, my love?“ the king s velvet voice grazed her ear and Ellaria felt his concern and wish to comfort her. But in fact the feel of his warm breath so close to her sensitive elven-ear made her heartbeat pick up pace again.

Being unable to express all that was on her mind, the queen decided to simply push her emotions through their bond. „Let him figure it out“ she thought...and he did.

His head sank deeper, while he closed the last millimeters between their bodies. The heat of his broad chest pressed on her back and he whispered in surprise „It is me?“

„Yes“ she sighed, still unable to hold a conversation about her emotions running wild now.   
„You are a fool if you think I don t desire you, Ellaria...“ His words were still spoken gently but his fingers squeezing her flesh in a possessive manner, turning her around to face him.

She was only granted one short look into his deep blue lenses, burning with desire, before his lips descended on her in such a promising manner, it made Ellaria s mind drift off. 

The way he held her, stroke her hair and caressed her lips with his full curves, left no doubt about the kings own wishes and needs.   
Ellaria could not supress a tiny smile to the thought of what was about to happen.

For Thranduil it would be something serious and utterly necessary.   
His actions as well as his emotions, floating the queen s fea now, made it clear, she was the center of his world and he would use any power and skill available to him to please her.

 

His wife s satisfied humming against his mouth made the king feel butterflies in his belly. How she craved his touch.   
Thranduil felt so needed and welcomed, it made him dizzy with contentment.

In another second, Ellaria was lifted onto the side-board, her husband s body between her thighs and a small groan escaped the queen. 

Anticipation almost too much for her to take when Thranduil took a step back to carefully study her expression.  
„Eli...“ her name sounding like a prayer coming from his slightly swollen lips. „...will you have me like this?“

„Yes, oh yes, my love“ The queen had lost control of all propriety. 

One pressing desire on her mind, to feel her husband move inside her. To underline her need, Ellaria closed her legs around Thranduil s waist to pull him closer.   
With a gentle smile he pushed her dress up to her waist, sending her a glance of sheer lust as one of his hands started wandering up her leg.

Ellaria sharply drew in her breath when his slender fingers caressed her center of lust, dipping deep into the warm wetness greeting them there.

His head close to her ear again Thranduil purred „Oh Eli, you are so welcoming.“

His eyes closing as well and his breath coming short when Ellaria s hand started exploring the hardened proof of his desire.   
Ever so gently they excited and caressed each other, the room filled with their lustful moans.

And finally he started pushing into her, every inch of his length sending sparks of pleasure through Ellaria s body. Thranduil felt shivers down his spine the moment she enveloped him.

The king took his time. Enjoying the complete surrender his wife was offering, her soft little sighs and the expression on her lovely feature whenever he invaded her body.   
She wanted him, craved his touch, love and desire and she trusted him with her heart and soul again. 

This was the most satisfiying discovery about their rather unusual encounter.

„Please, Thranduil...“ Ellaria begged, her body on edge since some time now. Every last fiber screaming for a release only her husband could grant her.

The addressed ellon was more than ready to fulfill the request, his own peak growing under the deep and steady movements into utter bliss. 

Sliding one hand under Ellarias buttocks, he send her a long glance before leaning in, breathing against her lips. „I will grant you your wish, my love...“ pushing himself so deep inside her, Ellaria thought she would faint from pleasure. „I would grant you anything, Eli.“ 

The next second he retreated himself deliberately slow. Ellaria s small whimpering made it impossible for the king to hold back any longer.

Tilting her head back, to kiss her even deeper and more demanding then before, the king pushed himself into his wife s quivering body again.   
Feeling her tighten around him, he stayed there, adding more pressure again and again before slightly twisting his hips while being so deeply connected to her.

And Ellaria did something she had never done before in their lovemaking. She screamed in pleasure.   
It was his name, once, but it was enough to send Thranduil over the edge as well. 

He collapsed against her trembling body with a feeling of unknown satisfaction. 

For sure they had crossed a border tonight.


	22. Bonding

The Elvenqueen was staring at a paper-roll on her desk. She had been trying since some time now to read the lines before her but had failed. Her mind being too busy with personal issues.

Hot blood coloring her lovely cheeks whenever she remembered the sound of her voice last night...screaming his name. Ellaria wasn t quite sure why the memory of this utter loss of any control on her side kept spinning in her head but she just couldn t move on from what had happened on the side board.

Only when Tauriel entered the her study, Ellaria managed to force her mind back into reality.

She had always found the captain of the guard to be an extremely beautiful elleth, with her shining red hair and huge green eyes, so full of energy, but today there was something different about her friend and Ellarias started wondering about the possible source of Tauriels glowing cheeks and sparkling gaze. 

 

„Tauriel, what a nice distraction from rather tiring duties you are.“ The queen greeted the younger elleth warmly. „What brings you here my friend?“

„I need to speak to you in private...and about personal matters.“ Although the words were issued with a steady voice, Ellaria sensed strong emotions running wild inside the elleth in front of her.

„Come sit down and let us talk then. Guards, please leave us. I m sure I will be safe enough in the presence of your captain.“ The queen smiled amiably at the armed ellons standing on both sides of her door. Thranduil would still not loosen the precaution to guaranty his wife s safety but Ellaria wasn t bothered by it.

„Please my dear, go ahead.“ Tauriel felt a delicate hand on her strong fingers. A warriors hand covered by a queens gentle touch but still, the captain had no illusions who was the mentally stronger being in this room.

„As you already know, Legolas has proposed to me...and last night, I accepted.“ 

The queens joy knew no limit as she almost shot out of her chair to hug her future daughter in law.   
„This is great news indeed. I m overwhelmed by joy and happiness to welcome you into our family.“ 

Tauriel took a few moments to digest this very emotional reaction, swallowing hard and pressing her friend to her chest.

„Thank you, Ellaria. Truely, your reaction means a lot to me.“ 

The younger elleth tried a smile but rather failed half way through...  
“What worries you then? ...“   
„I need your counsel on a specific issue concerning my married life. I mean, being a former healer, you know certain things?“ 

Tauriel s face was glowing by now and Ellaria thought she knew where this was leading to.

„Is this about the physical part of our marriage?“ 

Coloring even more, the captain mumbled „...more about the consequences.“   
„Oh, I understand...“ the queen s face broke into a knowing smile. „You don t want to conceive right away?“ 

A shocked stare showed on Tauriel s face and her eyes moved quickly from side to side like a caged animal for a moment. 

„I dealt with the same problem when getting married to the king. And we agreed to get to know each other first. I m sure, my son won t object to such an arrangement and I will provide you with the necessary herbs...“ 

„...but do they work also after you already received your partner s essence?“ 

Now it was Ellaria s jaw dropping open. Lost for words she simply stared at the completely reddened face of her daughter in law.

 

Tauriel finally felt the need to explain herself. „I know we should have waited until we were married before Eru but after I consented, well we were both so taken with emotions and...well it just happened.“

That was the new glow upon Tauriel, it had felt strangely familiar to the queen and now she knew why.   
Tauriel was bond to her son already. It was only a half bond since they hadn t said the ancient wedding vows yet but nevertheless, they were bond.

„Oh dear, this is, well, it is wonderful.“  
„You are not angry about our headless action?“  
„How could I? Believe me, I m in no position to judge. I do well remember the struggle to restrain from carnal intimacy before my own wedding. Thranduil shortened our engagement year by 4 month, he was so worried for our virtue.“ 

The queen s face lit into a beautiful smile, her eyes glimmering with the knowledge of true passion and love.

„I hope my son did right by you and the pain will be forgotten soon.“ Ellaria still smiled with sympathy.

„There was no pain. Legolas was so gentle and loving. The sensation of his body it was...well..it was. I can t describe it. But believe me, I m so longing for his embrace already, I can hardly wait for night to fall.“

Slightly embarrassed by their open words, both ellyth just smiled at each other with burning cheeks for some time.

 

„I m so happy for you, Tauriel. I can not express my feelings adequately but I m sure you perceive it in your fea.“

The captain grabbed the queens hands now, holding them tight while her own fingers trembled with emotions. It was almost too much happiness for her taste. She had the perfect husband. A loving, tender and very sensual partner who did not restrain from showing his unconditional love for her for all to see. And now also a real friend, who s loyal support meant the world to Tauriel.

She was unable to verbalize her inner bliss but there was no need to. The queen knew exactly about her friends emotions and she loved her the better for it.

„No matter how wonderful my carnal experiences are...we must not produce offspring as long as we are not properly married. Therefore I came to you, Ellaria. I need your knowledge in this field.“

„Of course, my ...daughter...“ the word brought a big knot of happiness but also longing to the queen s throat. „I will acquaint you with all necessary precautions, so you and my son will be able to follow your hearts desires.“ 

A small flash-back of herself in Rithelwen s hut so many years ago brought another smile to Ellaria s face. Faith was treating the royal family very well these days, she thought to herself.

 

Her conversation with Tauriel had kept the queen s mind busy for the rest of the day and in the evening she decided to consult with her husband about their son s bond.

To her utter surprise she was informed, the king had already retired to his chambers.   
Entering her inner home a few moments later, Ellaria was greeted by Thranduil s silken voice. „...treat her gently.“

„Thranduil?“ Ellaria moved further into this private refuge and then she saw them.   
Father and son in front of the fireplace, both with a cup in their hands and shine red faces.

It dawned on the queen what this conversation must have been about and she felt her own cheeks warming, now that she could guess what Thranduils words had meant.

The most natural thing in the world, a father s advise towards his son, how to handle women. 

 

„My love..“ the king got up slowly from his seat. "What a pleasure to see you. Legolas and I were just talking about a serious matter. Our son has important news for you."

„Nana,“ Legolas had gotten up as well, leaning in to graze his mothers cheek with a butterfly kiss. Gazing into his mothers eyes, he instantly realized that she had heard about his bond already.

„... as it seems you are well informed already. Has Tauriel spoken to you?“ 

„Indeed she has and I m overjoyed for you and your beautiful bride. I m so proud of you, Legolas. You made an excellent choice of life partner and if I may speak openly, you found a way to capture her heart, soul and ...body..with your gentleness and love. As your naneth, I have nothing else to wish for. Eternal bliss will come your way with this extraordinary elleth by your side.“

The king kindly wazched his wife and son. His facial expression calm and content. Obviously Thranduil welcomed this news as much as Ellaria and this knowledge meant the world to the prince. 

To have both his parents standing in front of him, expressing their satisfaction about the choices he made was something Legolas had never dreamed of.

„And just so you know, Legolas, I was able to help Tauriel with her request.“  
With burning cheeks again he answered „Thank you Nana, we were both worried how to avoid an obvious indecency by producing an elfling already.“

„Well, my son, now that we also had a long overdue talk about the secrets of life and love, you might be eager to find your bride.“ The king smiled broadly into his son s glowing face.   
„Indeed I am, Ada. Would you kindly excuse me?“

„I guess even an army of orcs would hardly be able to stop you, my love stricken son.“ Thranduil added with a chuckle.

Kissing his mother good-bye before bowing to his father, Legolas was gone in a flash. And who could blame him for burning so fiercely for his beloved one?   
Both queen and king smile after their offspring for some time before turning to each other.

„We are working rather nicely together as parents, my love. Wouldn t you agree?“   
„Indeed, Thranduil. But not only as parents...“ Ellaria s eyes held a sparkle the king would not be able to resist. Taking one step closer to his wife, he confessed. 

„I can relate to Legolas excitement....“ Ellarias hands on his forearms, slowly wandering up, entailed a tickling sensation wherever her fingers grazed his skin.   
„I had to think about my first time in your arms today as well, Thranduil. The memory still gives me goosebumps.“

The queens lips were sealed by Thranduils soft and warm curves. Not a passionate request to be followed but a gentle sign of her husband s devotions towards her.

„Yes my love, our wedding night also sprang to my mind when speaking to Legolas about the art of love-making. There was undeniable passion between us from our first meeting...“

With a cheeky smile the king tilted up Ellaria s chin, so their eyes would meet. „But who would have thought, it would take me ages before I could ever make you scream out in bliss?“ 

Burning cheeks and a first shocked and then slightly embarrassed expression on the queen s face made the king laugh out. 

It was then, Ellaria realized how very self-satisfied the great Elvenking was by the fact his wife had completely lost control in his arms last night.

He was proud and happy, satisfied with himself and the world but at the same time slightly humbled by the fact she had trusted him as much after all what had passed between them these last month. And this knowledge made her smile against his lips as well but with a blush on her cheeks.

 

As his arms pulled her closer to him, there was a heavy knock on the door.

„Forgive me my lord....“ an utterly confused guard entered the royal chambers. Finding his king and queen in an obvious private moment didn t help the young elf to find back his speech.

„What is it?“ Thranduil s voice made it very clear how unwelcome any disturbance was right now but his anger only lasted until the guard s next sentence.

„There is a stranger at the gate requesting most vehemently your presence. He calls himself Lord Halador...“

The Elvenkings figure stiffened at the mentioning of this name and the queens eyes widened while her grip on her husbands forearm tightened.

„Take me to him at once.“

Tilting his head for a private sentence to his wife, Thranduil whispered „Please stay here for the moment. I will call for you as soon as I m sure what we are dealing with.“


	23. Old friends and hurts

Tears streaming down his face for what seemed to be hours. The utterly ragged ellon wouldn t even try to muster enough energy to free himself from the delicate arms encircling him, forcing his most private emotions to come forth with an unstoppable intensity.

„Halador...“ He would remember the way Ellaria had whispered his name, desperate and overjoyed at the same time, for the rest of his life. 

The queen had returned and so had Halador.

 

Being freed by Azog s death as well, the former war minister had come back to life close to the gates of Angmar, where he had been captured so many years ago by the evil forces.

Physically weak and confused, the once so glorious ellon had fought his way back home. Only to be greeted by a very suspicious monarch who had questioned him for the longest part of one night before finally embracing him as a loyal and long moaned friend.

The free display of the king s emotion had shaken Halador s composure, but that was nothing compared to the emotional thunderstorm breaking inside the counselor at the sight of his queen. 

Halaor was able to remember every detail about Ellarias abduction 600 years ago, and the horrors this picture awoke would surely prevent him sleeping peacefully for decades to come.

But for now he struggled hard to gain back control over his silly eyes spilling tears of joy in front of the royal couple and several guards. 

He only managed to compose himself after Ellaria s arms vanished around his forms and her gentle hand wiped away all traces of tearsfrom his cheeks.

Kneeling down before his queen, Halador finally found the courage to speak the words tormenting his mind since the very moment his senses had come back to him.

„Forgive me, my lady for failing you so completely...“ 

Halador s sentence was interrupted by Ellaria s gasp of shock as well as by a large hand descending on his shoulders instantly. It was time for the king to end the general misery in his chambers.  
„There is no need for such speech, my friend. No one could have saved the queen from the evil will of the foul creature. I truly mean what I say and to proof the sincerity of my words, I appoint you the queen s personal guard until I can find an appropriate position for you in the private council.“

Both Ellaria and Halador were staring at the king. The queen s heart full of pride she felt for this strong and wise ellon who was her husband. Halador with sheer shock his monarch would show him such trust and favor.

„My lord, I m speechless.“  
„And rightly so. I kept you awake for too long, Halador. Guards...see my counselor to his chamber and find some food for this glorious warrior. We shall speak again in the afternoon when you are well rested.“

„Highness“ with a simple bow of his head Halador left the royal couple to find some sleep as well after an eventful night.

 

She woke to her own scream. Sweat covering Ellaria s body, her heartbeat hammering so forceful against her ribcage, she was sure it would break through her body any second.

„Shhh, my love. All is well. It was only a dream.“  
Of course Thranduil was by her side at once, his eyes searching hers to calm and steady her. He had seen the vivid images of her nightmare, had shared her panic and heard her desperate call for help. Even without the renewed wedding vow, the king had unrestrained access to her mind and soul.

„Thranduil...“ Ellaria s voice was shaking with horror. The feeling of being ripped from this earth, separated from her heart and soul by the enemy still fresh on her mind. It was the first time she had remembered the last moments of her old life. 

The surprise about these new inside views as intense as her panic by what she had experienced ...and so had Thranduil.

Her delicate fingers closed with all her strength around the warm hands cupping her face.  
„...it wasn t just a nightmare.“  
„I know Ellaria. But never fear, you are safe now. I will protect you with my life. Never again you will be taken from me, my love.“

Ellaria felt her heartbeat steadying to her husbands reassuring words. Even his inside world was calm and unshaken by what had just been revealed to both of them. He was not afraid.

Strong and determined were his emotions. He would be her defense against anything in this world. His love floating Ellaria s fea, chasing away the last remnants of her desperation. And for the first time since her return to this life, the queen felt utterly safe because she was sheltered by one of the most magnificent and mighty beings in all Arda. Thranduil, the Elvenking, her husband.

Cradling closer to him, Ellaria rested her head on his broad chest. The familiar scent and his steady heartbeat slowly coaxing her back into sleep while his inside world sang to her a melody of peace. With a small sigh of releve, the queen fell asleep in her husbands arms.

 

The next morning, the whole palace was humming with the news of Haladors return. Apparently he had been held in good graze by many elves until this day. The excited happiness to welcome back one of the greatest warriors ever was only topped by the kings announcement. A celebration would be held in honor of the former war minister in about a week from now.

Everybody being thrilled with these news on top of the upcoming royal wedding which would take place in less then a month. It seemed like the Woodland realm had embarked for a century of good fortune.

 

The ellon in question however still needed much rest and peace to find his place in the new life. Watching Halador taking his time to reconnect to the changed world around him, the queen started thinking about her entrance into this life as well. How very different it had been from the experience her personal guard was going through right now.

The two elves found time to exchange memories about their last moments on the battlefield. Too many images and emotions started floating the queen s mind to Halador s words and the session left her utterly tired and weary. 

Her past fight to find a place in this world as well as in her husband s heart again had deprived Ellaria of any chance to care about her own emotions, needs and fears. Feeling her walls of defense crumbling slowly as her energy level ran low, Ellaria excused herself to find some much needed solitude in her chambers. 

 

The first tear breaking her composure to the sound of the closing door. The queen sank to the floor without being able to take another step, all her suppressed sorrow and hurt now shooting through her fea, crashing her in a mere second. Tears and sobs, Ellaria was sure she would soon lose herself in this deep sea of desperation.

She stayed there on the floor, encircling her legs, rocking herself for some comfort, the only sound in her black loneliness her own sobs.

For long moments Ellaria indulged in her weakest part of her mind, her darkest thoughts and the horribly satisfying feeling of complete self-pity. It did her good.

Reducing herself to the lowest possible level in this emotional break-down was the queen s starting point to heal herself from all hurts and shocks she had been forced to accept during her past few month. Her grown up son, her husband s cold and hateful treatment, her greatest enemy s embarrassing her in front of the kingdom, her body being destroyed by darkness and sheer violence and her overbearing worries for her husband s sanity all the time. 

Thinking about these facts, Ellaria started wondering how she had found the energy to continue this life as well as this marriage. But she had endured all tasks laid before her and now she would enjoy the reward for it.

 

After what seemed like an eternity the door to her chamber was pushed open fiercely, the Elvenking storming in, a panicked look on his angelic face.

Finding his wife reduced to present state on the floor, her sobs filling the air while her beautiful face was swollen from too many tears and the energy consuming action of crying her heart out, Thranduil felt an ice cold rock forming around his heart.

„Ellaria...“ his voice was soft but shacking with heavy emotions. Panic started crepping upon him as well. He had never seen Ellaria in such state, and he felt completely helpless and guilty at the same time. What had happened again? Why had the carefree and happy times between them ended so soon? 

Reaching out to comfort his beloved, he was completely startled to find a faint smile on Ellaria s face. Trying hard to fight back her sobs to actually verbalize her thoughts the queen captured one warm large hand of his between her delicate fingers, petting the floor next to her. And the great Elvenking lay down beside her the next second. 

He didn t argue but simply followed his wife s wishes. The message was clear, whatever you need me to do I will. For you I will even deny my convictions. 

Ellaria heard all this in her fea. Thranduil s mighty spirit calling out to her, offering his love, his strength and energy in case she wanted it and the queen welcomed him openly into her inner world.

Her sobs calming down slowly to the stabalizing effect of being connected to her husband in such unique way.

Finally she was able to speak again. Gently touching his cheek with her free hand, Ellaria explained.  
„Do not worry for me, my love. I know it terrified you to find me like this on the floor but it was a long overdue cleaning of my soul which reduced me to such state of devastation.“ 

A questioning look on his face, Thranduil encircled Ellaria s small body with his arms. His own need for physical contact overwhelming him as he did. Slowly pulling her closer, until her head rested on his chest.

„Eli, you scared me. I was so worried for you ...and our found back happiness. Will you tell me what happened, please?“ His heartbeat took up pace to his last words and Ellaria realized she had to tell him the truth quickly.

„It started with my dream last night. The first memories of what happened before I was taken from you, finally coming to my mind after hiding in the dark for so long. Today I had another conversation with Halador and comparing his dealings with the changed situation to my own, I lost myself to the past misery....“

Thranduils hands pressed her closer to him, his chest raising under a heavy sigh as the impact of Ellarias words hit him.  
„I m so sorry, Ellaria, for all the pain I put you through. You were so weak mentally and physically, the shock of finding your baby grown, my distance and deliberate abuse of you...I...“

„Please stop, Thranduil.“

Ellaria had pushed herself out of his embrace to clearly look at her husband. One hand covering his mouth in the attempt to stop his sermon of self-reproach. 

„This long needed breakdown had not been about you, but about me and my emotions. I needed to free all pain inside my soul this time and the only way to do so was drowning in self-pity. I m sorry, I scared you with my complete loss of control and composure but I so needed this moment for my own sake.“

An utterly confused expression on Thranduil s face almost made Ellaria laugh.

„I suppressed all hurts and sorrows, my needs for release and wish for revenge for such long time. All my fears and despair was locked away securely to help us find back our love and life as marriage partners. But now I had to bring it forth before freeing myself of any kind of harm feelings.“

„But...?“ Ellaria saw his thoughts racing behind his crystal blue lenses. Unbelieving relief but still some doubts greeted the queen.

„This scene wasn t meant for you, husband. But I m very grateful you came for me and brought me back to reality. I was able to deal with my emotions until you changed so much. It seems that your strength triggers my weakness...“

„Maybe you are right. You endured all harm as long as you found me emotional unstable. But now that I can offer you all my help and support, you feel safe enough to give in to your own weakness. And rightly so! I m here for you, I will comfort and protect you, wife. I promise, whatever pains you, I will see you right. “

Another small tear left the queens eyes but it was a tear of relief and joy. Her husbands words meant the world to the Elvenqueen and she tilted her head again to let it rest on the broad chest being offered to her.

„Thranduil, can you stay with me a little longer? Everything seems so easy and clear with you by my side and I feel still shaken by my emotional outburst. I know you have urgent business waiting for you...“

„Of course I will stay with you, Ellaria. And gladly so.“ The king took a deep breath before continuing  
„...when I found you crying on the floor I feared it had been my actions somehow causing you pain again. You can not imagine how reassuring your request for my company is. I will stay with you all day if you want me to. Eli, I long to care for you. You are so dear to me, my love.“

The couple somehow made it over to their bed, Thranduil helping Ellaria to undress slowly before ridding himself of the heavy fabric of his tunic. The atmosphere between the partners full of love and understanding for each other s situation.

The queen clinging to her husband for shelter from her own mind and memories and a well needed portion of his enchanting scent and magnificent body. He stayed with her until she was sound asleep. Only then did Thranduil leave to see to his tasks as a king.


	24. Observations

The hall was far too crowded and noisy for Halador s taste but never the less he enjoyed himself immensely, knowing most of the elves present had cometo celebrate his return to the woodland realm. And what a return it was. 

The kingdom was flourishing under a gentle and loving queen, a king grown back to his former strength and maybe even beyond, and their promising offspring Prince Legolas.   
Halador had been keen to meet this particular ellon whom he had adored as a baby. 

Legolas had grown into a skillful fighter and as it seemed a thoughtful elf. His gentle character coming from his mother s side...too soft and far too concerned about his fellow beings to become king.

For sure the royal couple would solve this issue after their wedding, the throne of the woodland realm could by no means be pass to the prince. And Halador was certain, his king had noticed as much himself.

Thranduil, his king and as it seems still his friend had changed a lot during the past millennia. He seemed less reckless and hot-tempered. For sure the suffering, his wife s death or rather disappearance had put him through must have left traces in his fea.

Halador clearly remembered the terror in Ellarias voice 600 years ago, screaming her husband s name in despair as the orc pack attacked them. It had not been out of fear for her life but for the king. Both Halador and Ellaria had known that losing his partner would mean death for him as well...at least emotionally.

What the queen had done to heal her husband to his former state of glory, Halador couldn t even imagine. But for sure it had been much more challenging than curing him after the dragon attack.

The elleth Ellaria had been when Halador first met her during a meeting of the private council had turned into a very different being as well. 

Halador watched intensely as the queen circled around the great hall, bending her head gracefully here and there to greet some old and new acquaintances, chatting with a few others and finally stopping to greet her son who had just arrived in time with the captain of the guard by his side. 

The way the young ellon acted in the presence of this Tauriel, a red haired beauty, Halador had found to be worthy of her title as captain, gave the counselor an idea of how deep Legolas felt for this particular elleth. His mother seeming to welcome the connection.

Ellaria was a gentle person by nature but the way she treated Tauriel clearly showed an affection for the younger elleth which went beyond a simple friendship.   
Maybe the captain of he guard would soon join the royal family as a member?

 

All these observations distracted the former minister so he wouldn t even notice the king s approach. 

„Even on a night of festivity, which is solemnly dedicated to you, my friend, you wouldn t stop your observations?.“   
The statement coming from the king could be taken as a reproach, but the way Thranduil had issued the sentence made it clear, he was rather amused. 

Of course the Halador he had known would rather scan the room and boil over his thoughts then joying in the common merry-making around him.  
„My lord, old habits are not forsaken easily...as you might be well aware off. I don t think your attention has been shifted from the queen tonight....?“ A knowing smile spread over Halador s face which widened when his monarch joined in his chuckling.

„You are far to observant indeed, Halador. But tell me, what are you conclusions concerning my wife?“   
Now this request was rather personal, and the counselor would answer it honestly.

 

„In fact my Lord, I find the queen much changed...just like her husband. Both seem to have matured by trading the once carefree ruthlessness with a more defined thoughtfulness, supported by an inner strength. A strength one can only reach after a phase of great personal pain and despair. It is nurtured by the knowledge of ones own ability to overcome any challenge in life.“

Thranduil s jaw almost dropped to his counselor wise words. 

Keeping his gaze on the subjects in front of him, the king tried to digest the statement, piercing his heart for its grave meaning.

„And to finish my personal answer to an old friend,....only true love enables a person to endure the agony to refine ones character in the described way.“ 

„Halador, I can not express my gratefulness for having you back at my side....“ 

 

Both ellons stayed silent for some time. They just stood side by side, trapped in their own thoughts until the king verbalized the most pressing issue on his mind.

„Ellaria s return almost killed both of us. Everything about it was too intense. And look at her now, Halador. She is soft and gentle but weak. So weak Halador, I have never seen her like that ...it scares me.“

The king s gaze was intense, his worries for the queen written all over his features. To Halador it seemed like Thranduil was begging for him to contradict the statement about his queen. And he willingly did.

„No, my lord. There is no need to be scared about the queen. She might need some emotional support from you right now and also seek the shelter of your physical presence more often then you were used to but it only helps her to heal. And she needs to heal. I can relate to this need quite well, feeling somehow lost in this new life and changed times after my long absence...the queen s strength is unbroken. It will grow to an unknown level under your guidance, my king. I m sure of that.“

The counselor couldn t tell for sure, but he thought there were some tears lingering in Thranduils eyes when turning his head.

A large hand descended on his forearm and Halador felt some heavy emotions rush through his own fea from the kings personal gesture.

„I truly thank you for your precious counsel. And be assured, should you feel the need for some companionship on your journey back into this world. I will always be at your service, my friend.“

They empty their goblets with big gulps after the heavy conversation. 

 

Circulating his halls now as well, the king s gaze was fixed on his wife with different emotions.   
Halador was right, Ellaria was not weak in mind and fea right now, she just dared to lean on her husband to finally start her emotional healing. She had locked her feelings and needs away as long as Thranduil had been unable to deal with them, but now she felt save to unleash her own demons.  
This was the greatest sign of trust towards his person and he would honor it.

The king rather enjoyed the frequent demands from his wife. She was soft, so soft and gentle, it made his heart melt just to hold her in his arms.   
Feeling relief and happiness floating through Ellaria s body and soul to the sensation of his mighty spirit enveloping hers, offering her shelter and comfort. 

She had always been his equal and beyond. And the king had loved her the better for it. The conversation with Halador had reassured Thranduil, that in time his queen would find back her own strength. Until then he would enjoy the feeling of being needed immensely.

 

Watching Ellaria chatting and laughing with several elves, the king also came to the conclusion, it was time to consider his needs as well. 

Especially his physical demands becoming more pressing the longer his gaze lingered on his wife s beautiful and very tempting features. 

He would definitely make love to her tonight. 

The longer he dwelt on this pleasant prospect, the harder it felt to actually wait until the end of the feast somewhere late at night.

 

Images on memories of how she felt in his arms, her little noises, her soft skin, her taste and the feeling of her warmth welcoming him, made the king s heart race with anticipation.   
His eyes burning with desire when Ellaria caught his gaze.

Her cheeks colored instantly to the intense thoughts reflected in her husband s lenses. 

Ellaria tilted her head for a moment to catch her breath and sort her thoughts but when she looked up again, a small knowing smile played around her lips and Thranduil knew, his wish would be granted.

Taking a deep sip of his heavy wine, the king tried to still the excitement rushing through his veins, making his belly tickle with anticipation.   
He still had to be patient...but once the celebration was over, his wife would await him. 

And no matter her condition, her love for him was and always had been strong.


End file.
